Lion is sad. We didn’t do anything sexual for a few days and he’s sure we’re done with sex. He’s also convinced his book is no good. It’s highly probably the two are related. If he’s sad we haven’t been playing, it can tank his mood and make him question his writing ability. I get it. Life has ups and downs.
If we don’t do anything sexual because he’s thinking about his book and doesn’t want fun, that’s hunky dory. If I don’t want to give him sex, I’m wrong. What if I’m thinking about something else? Nope. No good. Not allowed. Flag on the play. The only possible reason for my not giving him attention is sex is over for good. Obviously, if I don’t want sex for myself, I’ll get tired of doing it for him. There can be no other explanation.
Well, there is another explanation. A few, actually. As I explained in my post yesterday, I was annoyed, let down, depressed (insert other thesaurus words here) about the job interview I had Monday. Plus, a recruiter was supposed to send me a link for a video interview, and she hadn’t as of Tuesday night, so I was preoccupied with that too. I was sore, I assume, from immunizations I got on Sunday. See? Three explanations right there.
Lion insists I need to talk to him more. This is true. However, it’s a two-way street. I found out many months after he’d found a job that he used to cry in the car after interviews when he felt like he was never going to find a job. Did he tell me this? Nope. I read it in a post. Does he tell me he’s not interested in sex because he’s thinking about the story line of his book? Not usually. He’ll say he’s not really interested and leaves it at that. Did I do something wrong? Is he tired? Is he in pain? I don’t know. He doesn’t usually say.
What I do know is that we’ve been short with each other lately. He asks a question and if I don’t answer immediately, he assumes I’m not listening. Sometimes I’m in the middle of something. Other times it takes a few seconds to answer. Is it possible we’re together too much? I love being home with him. He says he loves having me home with him. Maybe we’re getting on each other’s nerves.
We need to find some coping skills.
[Lion — We need to communicate outside of the blog. Mrs. Lion has never been very verbal. She doesn’t tell me how she feels. I have to probe to get any sense of what’s going on. A simple, “No sex for you tonight” goes a long way. It tells me that she is thinking about sex. Silence isn’t the same thing. She doesn’t seem to understand that. For example, she doesn’t seem to care if I wear my shock collar. That’s OK. But saying, “I don’t/do want you to wear it today means that she is aware of it. Silence means that I can’t know if she is or not. When I tell her that I’m sad because I don’t feel good about something, she rarely says anything.
I was going to write a post about this issue, but Mrs. Lion covered it here. I broke a rule yesterday. I forgot to set up the coffee pot. Mrs. Lion told me and said I would be punished. That was last night. Not a word since. I’m trying to write for a living. I’m pretty verbal. I don’t talk about things when I get no response. Communication is a two-way street.]