A few years ago, Mrs. Lion and I were interviewed about male chastity. I had a chance to talk about why I wanted to let my wife have absolute control over my sex life. You can listen to that interview here. I’m not claiming we were at our most articulate, but it was a chance to start forming thoughts about why I want to play this game.
No one has asked us to talk about spanking and domestic discipline. I have been thinking about what I might say. One thought came up in terms of a game called deal breaker. The Unqualified podcast invented the game. The idea is to bring up something your date might ask you, and you have to answer whether or not the request is a deal-breaker. OK, here’s my question: Your date asks you to spank him. Deal-breaker?
This is a tough one. After fifteen years of marriage, when I asked my ex-wife that question, she gave me a flat “No.” No questions or discussion, just no. That answer started me on the road to divorce. After only a few dates, I asked Mrs. Lion. You know her answer. It’s an interesting game. Another version of it is to ask if you wanted to be spanked, would you take the risk of asking your date to spank you? Maybe we can call that game Deal Maker.
It took me a very long time to take the risk and ask that question to my ex. It turned out to be a deal-breaker. I think asking that question would open up a long conversation. If my date asked me to spank her, I’d want to know what she had in mind. She might laugh and roll her eyes and say, “Duh!” But, I would persist and ask her exactly how she imagined it going. After all, the seeds of any kink are sown in dreams and fantasies. She might have read Fifty Shades of Grey and imagined herself in the story.
The point is that a simple deal-breaker question probably has deep roots. Mine certainly did. I never imagined specific scenarios. I just knew that I get turned on when I think about being spanked. I never fixated on a hairbrush or other implement, just getting my bottom spanked. Until I actually experienced it, I had no idea what would happen when someone spanked me. The first time, after I separated from my ex, started with me fully aroused. My partner tied me to the bed face-down. She used a leather paddle we bought at The Pleasure Chest.
I was surprised that I lost my erection almost as soon as she started. It hurt! She did a good job and left me with a burning, red bottom. When she finished, she untied me and told me to be an “attack lion.” Yes, I had that nickname back then. I quickly got hard and mounted her. She was completely ready. It turned out that spanking me was foreplay for her. It turned out to be her favorite form of foreplay. Neither of us had tried BDSM before that day. Definitely a Deal-Maker.
Mrs. Lion never found spanking me to be erotic. That hasn’t stopped her. At first, it bothered her to hurt me. Well, it bothered her for quite a while. She kept it up because she knew I wanted it. Eventually, she stopped feeling bad that she was hurting me. She began to think about spanking me as a sort of craft. She used different implements and tried to achieve an even red color on my bottom. Since she knew I wanted it, she also experimented to discover what she could do to make it uncomfortable for me to sit after she was done.
Spanking me doesn’t bother her now. It’s just something she does as part of a game we play. She’s very good at it and prides herself on her ability to make me yelp. This “deal” might seem very odd to an outsider who learns about us now. We’ve had years to evolve and fine-tune our practice. If you saw us right after I asked Mrs. Lion to spank me, you would have seen gentle taps on my bare bottom. I was very lucky that I was brave enough to ask her, and she was kind enough to say yes.