Consistently Inconsistent

I am wrong. My fence idea probably won’t work, back to the drawing board. We’ll figure it out. Maybe we’ll wind up using parts of the fence we already have, even though it’s lower than we’d like. It’s been a long time since I’ve had an intact female dog, and then we lived in the middle of nowhere. I don’t remember to what lengths horny male dogs will go to capture their prey. Are they able to leap 42-inch fences in a single bound?

Now, back to Lion’s responses to me. I hate to do this, but I’m going to use an example from my ex-husband. He’d tell me I always shot down his ideas without offering a different solution. He was wrong. Usually, I’d say something along the lines of thinking that idea wouldn’t work, but maybe we could tweak it and try it another way. At the very least, I’d consider his idea and say I didn’t think it would work, but if we tried, I bet we could come up with something that would.

When I was a supervisor, my boss would tell me that a team member was screwing up and I should say to them. I wouldn’t go up to them and say, “You suck!” as my boss had. I’d chat them up and help with what they were doing and sprinkle in a few “this is how it should look” comments to correct the situation. I’m all about softening the blow. No one wants to hear how much they suck.

All I was looking for from Lion was the same consideration. Rather than saying my idea was ugly or it would cost too much or otherwise dismissing it, he might have offered an alternate idea or asked a few questions to understand better. Which is better? Someone saying, “That’s dumb!” or someone saying, “Hmmm…I don’t know. Show me what you mean.” No. Lion didn’t tell me I was dumb, but the effect was the same.

On one hand, I should be proud of myself for telling him he screwed up. That’s what he’s wanted me to do for a long time. Telling him, he’s going to be spanked is one more step in that process. Then I go and rethink things. I’ve rescinded two punishments now. If the effect is that Lion will soften the blow going forward, then it’s fine if I don’t spank him. However, that seems like it will be a trend. It may already be a trend. How many times have I forgiven him and let him slide without punishment? It’s what I do. I’m inconsistent.

I guess I do suck – at consistency. [Lion — No, you don’t suck at consistency. You are overcoming a lifetime of letting things go. I’m proud of you even if it means I have a sore butt.]