Most of us who get involved in a disciplinary relationship where punishment is involved, like our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), start out because the disciplined partner has at least some erotic connection with spanking. My interest in being spanked stretched back many years before I was aware there was such a thing as a disciplinary relationship. I enjoyed BDSM scenes that included spanking me. At times, this was a little difficult because I was an active top. I suppose the correct term would be “switch”.
In our case, my interest in a power exchange that included punishment came out of enforced male chastity. I enjoy Mrs. Lion’s sexual control and feeling it got me thinking about extending it to something much wider. Other people find their way to disciplinary relationships via many diverse routes.
Once there, there is a common path we seem to follow. The first, and most obvious step, is some sort of agreement about what behaviors need to be corrected. In our case, I didn’t have any glaring behavioral issues. Mrs. Lion wisely chose “problems” that I would most likely have on a frequent basis. The idea was to train both of us in giving and accepting punishment.
Other people have very serious reasons for entering into a disciplinary relationship. It could be something as devastating as overuse of alcohol and drugs, for example. It could also be a wish on the part of the disciplined male to be helped losing weight or correcting other lifestyle issues. Or, it could be things that Mrs. Lion wants me to learn like not interrupting her, accepting what she says, and obeying her.
Until very recently, I didn’t think a lot about how these problems are different in terms of punishment. They are the same in that we, the disciplined males, explicitly consent to whatever level of punishment is needed to correct these problems. In other words, it’s up to our disciplining wives to use punishment as a way of extinguishing our negative behaviors.
In the beginning, my behavioral problems were limited to spilling food on my shirt and eating before Mrs. Lion. Each time I committed an offense, I received a spanking. As she improved as a disciplinarian, the intensity of the spankings increased. To both of our surprise, the behavior she was punishing almost completely disappeared. That proved to us the effectiveness of a disciplinary relationship in terms of improving my behavior.
Of course, the offenses were trivial and I had no deep-seated investment in persisting in breaking the rules. Over the years that we operated at this level (about three), we discussed how to deal with bigger problems or with persistent offending. My thoughts were that the intensity of the spanking could increase if an offense is repeated or if it were more serious. Mrs. Lion agreed to try that. Frankly, I didn’t get a strong message from spankings she said were more intense. In fact, I realized that spanking should probably be at one intensity. I asked her to work to increase the intensity to make them more memorable.
That left us with the problem of dealing with repeated offenses for one thing. Most recently, in a four week period I forgot to remind her three times of our Saturday punishment day. It’s my job to remind her every Monday, Thursday and Saturday that it’s punishment day. These are days we set aside to be sure that punishments were administered even if we were very busy doing other things. Obviously, being spanked for missing reminding her wasn’t working.
About a month before this problem cropped up, she was frustrated that even after her new, stronger spankings, I felt the pain for a very short amount of time after she finished and I stayed red for a minute or two at most. She decided to overcome this, for each offense I would get a minimum of three spankings given once each day. That way punishment would be memorable because it was repeated.
It worked very well. I’ve written about that in the past. The point is that we had stumbled on a way to add intensity to punishment without resorting to extreme beatings. So, when I forgot Saturday punishment day for the third time, she sentenced me to five consecutive daily spankings. That was absolutely no fun.
An offense and its consequence represent a pair of actions that form a transaction. In other words, forget something once and it costs three daily spankings. Forget it twice and the number goes up to five. Each day’s spanking is a full-scale punishment spanking. It’s impossible for me to ignore the extra cost of behaviors Mrs. Lion considers more offensive.
I went to boarding school during my high school years. The disciplinary system there worked with points. You started out with 100 points. Each rule carried a point cost if you broke it. Skip a meal, five points; late to class, five points; skip class, 10 points. Go below a total of 70 points and you’re grounded. Each week you didn’t lose any points you got five back until you were at 100 again.
This is the same sort of system we are using for adult punishment. Spill on my shirt, three spanking days. Break a rule twice in a short time, five spanking days. You get the idea. Mrs. Lion has not created a master list of offenses and punishments. She’ll work them out as she goes. The point is that there are two factors that determine how many daily spankings I get for breaking a rule: The first is the seriousness of the offense. Spill food on my shirt, three days. Act disrespectful, more days.
If I repeat an offense in a relatively short period of time, Mrs. Lion interprets that as meaning her original sentence wasn’t severe enough to deter my behavior. Therefore, the repeat offense will have additional spanking days. She may decide that a new first offense will catch the longer sentence since I’ve demonstrated that’s what I need. It’s very risky for me to repeat something wrong.
Take relationships where the problems being handled are much more serious, like drinking. I would be very surprised if a single spanking is a sufficient deterrent to doing it again. The disciplining wife decides what a first offense will cost. She might also let her disciplined male know that a repeat within, say three months, will double or triple the initial penalty.
She has no real way to know how severe she has to be to effect change. But she will find out as she raises the price for subsequent offenses. A similar strategy works for weight loss. Maybe start out with two days spanking for each pound or fraction gained. Perhaps make it four days if the gain repeats the next week.
At some point, he will get the message. It will become just too painfully expensive to break a rule. Other punishments can follow a similar pattern. The idea is that a single offense will always earn multiple punishments. Stubborn refusal to learn will learn many more unpleasant punishments.
I don’t know why this never occurred to me before. Somehow I imagined that one offense should equal one punishment. Repeat offenses or breaking more serious rules should earn more severe punishments. Now that I’ve been in a disciplinary relationship for a while I realize that’s not possible. Punishment intensity should always be high. There are no gentle spankings. If an offense is serious, the cost is day after day of painful spankings. Sooner or later the number of daily spankings will get large enough to be more than breaking the rule is worth.
Each male is different. Some of us are very stubborn and will need long periods of daily spanking to finally get the point. That’s the beauty of the lion spanking system. We, the disciplined males, determine just how much we have to suffer. Quick learners are rewarded with shorter sentences of daily spanking. If we are stubborn, the days can stretch into weeks. It’s all up to us. Our disciplining wives will follow our leads until we finally learn to do what we are supposed to.