Lion’s car needed an oil change so we took it in yesterday. Then we ate a late lunch. Then we had the car washed. Then we went to pick up some prescriptions. Apparently all of that wiped Lion out. Well, to be fair, he hasn’t been sleeping well. Neither of us has. So he snoozed quite a bit and right through dinner time. I guess because we had a late lunch, we weren’t hungry for dinner again. We had a snack instead. And then Lion said he guessed we wouldn’t play because he’d snoozed.

Here’s the thing. He says we play too late. But then he snoozes. So I think he should be rested enough to play. And then he says we’re playing too late. But why are we playing late? Because he snoozed. So then I didn’t even try to play with him after he snoozes because he says we’re playing too late. And then he says we don’t play after he snoozes. And around and around we go. So I unlock him and attempt to get him hard, but he says he doesn’t think we’ll get very far because…you guessed it…we’re playing too late. This is sitcom material.

He wants to play earlier. I think he went into his office when we got home from our errands. Then he went into the bedroom, turned on the TV and I heard snoring. Even when I joined him around 5:30, he was snoozing off and on. When, exactly, are we supposed to play earlier? This morning he said he’s horny and he can’t figure out if it’s because of the length of time he’s waited or because he slept well last night. Less than a half hour later, he was snoozing again. It wasn’t for long, but still.

Today, I’m going to try to play with him earlier. I still owe him swats for Thursday’s punishment day. If he’s snoozing when I want to play, I’ll wake him up and blister his butt. That should keep him awake long enough to play, although I don’t want to play right after the punishment. We have football games to watch. Obviously, they can be paused for fun. We won’t play Spankball if I give him punishment swats. That would be too confusing. Punishment swats are more important.

Maybe if we play earlier we’ll actually be hungry for dinner and Lion won’t snooze and he’ll sleep tonight. And all will be right with our world. Well, maybe it will be one more step toward normalcy.