For a long time, I’ve asserted that Lion’s wait times are wrong. He says he’s been waiting X number of days based on his last orgasm. I say he shouldn’t count the few days after orgasm because he could care less if he has sex or not. Suddenly, the other day he came around to my line of thinking. Of course, he didn’t say he was agreeing with me. He just made a statement. What the heck? It sort of gave me flashbacks to arguments with my ex. We’d be yelling for hours and then realize we were both saying the same thing. It was so frustrating. Obviously, the level of frustration with Lion was far less than with the ex, but the concept of saying the same thing was there.

Naturally, counting from the orgasm date gives a more concrete number. I have no idea when Lion begins to get horny unless he tells me. On the other hand, I don’t really care how long he waits. I take my cues from him and then I decide when I feel like giving him an orgasm. I’ve been known to give him an orgasm the day after the last one just to keep him on his toes. That hasn’t happened recently because he’s physically not ready for one that soon. When he was having stomach issues, I think he waited over twenty days between orgasms. Does that mean he waited over twenty days? I don’t think so. Yes, physically, he didn’t have an orgasm for twenty days. But most of that time he was trying to get his stomach and intestines to stop playing ping pong. He wasn’t thinking about sex. He wasn’t really waiting.

So how long was he waiting? That’s the problem. I have no way of knowing. I’m not sure Lion does either. If there was one day in the middle of all the turmoil that Lion felt horny, does that start the clock? Or is that day just counted as a day along with the random Tuesday he felt a little better or the following Saturday that he thought he might get lucky? It will be incredibly hard to quantify things.

The other problem, which isn’t really so much a problem as an observation, is that some ten-day waits are worse than others. I don’t know if it’s hormones, the amount of reading he’s done, the way the planets align or what, but sometimes Lion is hornier than other times. Sometimes he wants an orgasm. Sometimes he really wants an orgasm. And sometimes he really, really wants an orgasm. After some waits, he’ll say, “Well, it was an X day wait.” Yes, but for three of those days, he didn’t care. Does that make it a seven day wait? It’s a little too subjective to fully figure out. And, in the end, does it really matter? We’re not going for the record or anything. I just frustrate him for a few days (sometimes more) and give him an orgasm. Done.

The thing that was important to me over this past week was making up for the ruined orgasm he had. We hate those. Lion told me not to worry about it, but I wanted to do a reset to his system. I know it sounds silly. I just wanted, I don’t know, to apologize to his body for the less-than-stellar orgasm. Of course, there have been other orgasms along the way that were less than stellar, but I don’t normally cause them. I mean, I cause the orgasm, but the lack of stellar-ness is not my fault. When it is my fault, I feel the need to correct it. Consider it an I’m-sorry-your-dinner-was-not-to-your-liking-so-I’ve-taken-it-off-the-bill situation. I basically made up for crappy service.

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