It’s one thing to assign a punishment, another to remember to do it
It seems like we publish a potpourri of unrelated, sexual, power-exchange posts. We are chronicling our travels in the somewhat murky area of sexual play and power exchange. Most recently both Mrs. Lion and I have been writing about my anal training. The initial goal is for Mrs. Lion to be able to get her entire hand up my ass. We always, at least until very recently, believed this was impossible. Over the years, Mrs. Lion has tried and has on occasion, managed to get three fingers up inside me. She has been successful getting larger dildos and, however. Anyway, that’s not what I’m writing about today.
What I’m writing about is the importance to me, at least, of consistent activities that stretch me, so to speak (see what I did there?). The objective isn’t so much to inflict discomfort or make me feel small and humiliated. It’s too change me in ways that surprise and sometimes delight Mrs. Lion. Since she isn’t very interested in sex for herself, her creativity has to move in the direction of things she can train me to do. I think the concept of being trained is very exciting. I love that she does it.
The other night she wondered aloud, “What happens after I finally get my hand up your ass?”
I had no answer. I certainly wasn’t going to suggest she go for two hands, then two hands and a foot, etc. I know people do things like that, but I think one hand halfway to the elbow is probably sufficient demonstration of intimate domination for me. Actually, I do have an answer for her. I know a couple who have been doing advanced anal play for decades. To my knowledge, they never went past getting one hand into his butt.
Instead, on an almost-daily basis she would get that hand up inside him. After some practice, it didn’t take very long. It was a sort of intimate, emotional, sexual experience for them both. There was something they could do almost any time they were alone. I could see us doing this too. It’s almost a sort of sexual hand shake. Well, maybe not. What it is though, is an intimate connection. It’s also a highly emotional message sent to me about my role, at least my sexual role, in our relationship.
In fact, maybe being fisted is a foundational piece of the sort of need I have. I want to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. I really love it when she trains me. Correction: I love it when I think about it. The actual training is frequently quite uncomfortable. One reason we have a domestic discipline component to our relationship is that it gives Mrs. Lion the ability to do more than just try to please me with these activities. She also has a serious route to disciplining me and training me to improve my respectful love of her. On that subject, ever since Mrs. Lion agreed to punish even minor emotional infractions, apparently I haven’t committed one. How about that? I’m sure my streak won’t last much longer.
More and more of our belongings turn up as Mrs. Lion excavates the dozens of cartons we packed for our move. We still haven’t found my shock collar. It’s a toy that we haven’t used in a long time but we both mention it now and then. I suspect Mrs. Lion wants to give it some use once she finds it.
Sometimes it feels that our progress is almost glacial. It moves very, very slowly. Then, out of the blue, we both begin to feel more motivated and stuff starts happening again. The bottom line is that it’s way too easy for each of us to get wrapped up in all the other stuff we have to do. It feels like taking the time for other activities, like fisting, takes too much of the day away from what we really need to get going. The fact is that’s absolutely wrong. A fisting session, for example, takes less than 15 minutes. Either of us, or should I say both of us, can spare that at a most any point when we are together.
It’s much more about resolve than it is scheduling. And that gets me back to the whole concept of training. Mrs. Lion knows the training requires consistent effort. It has to be a front-of-mind activity. Our usual play, on the other hand, can easily recede into the background. We both regret it when that happens. For example, I’ve been owed a mouth-soaping for two weeks now. Mrs. Lion will mention it and then forget to do it. She thought it might be a good idea to put a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror. I had a similar idea and I printed a picture of a woman soaping a man. I taped this to the bathroom mirror. Perhaps this reminder will help.
Maybe the same is true about all the other stuff we talk about and manage to forget to actually do. I haven’t worn that spiky jockstrap since I first tried it on. Again, reminder is needed. Maybe we need to sit down and have a little meeting and then ask our electronic personal assistant (Alexa) to remind her of various activities at appropriate times during the week.
I don’t think it’s a matter of getting priorities rearranged. I think it’s more about being reminded appropriately. I have been doing some other minding, but I don’t like to because it feels like I’m topping from the bottom. I guess we’ll have a meeting and talk about all this and see if we can’t figure out a solution that works for her. I guarantee it will work for me. I don’t get a choice in these things.