Fetish Or Preference?

Despite all the moving and medical issues, I’m happy to report that my penis remains blissfully unaware of my trials and tribulations. It can be counted on to rise for almost any interesting occasion. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Lion is aware of this proclivity. I’ve been thinking about preferences and fetishes. I think they are the same thing, just existing at different intensities.

For example, I prefer women to remove all body hair. I find a hairless pussy much hotter than a bush. However, if I see a hairy pussy, it’s still very exciting. Preferences can be even stronger. I prefer female sex partners. That doesn’t mean I am ready to accept a male lover. That brings us to the second, and more interesting use of the word “preference”. A preference can be absolute, such as my preference for female sex partners. It doesn’t imply there’s an open door to adding a male. It’s not a fetish because of fetish, aside from implying a very strong attraction to something, also implies the object of the fetish isn’t generally accepted.

The fact that I am heterosexual and prefer women isn’t a fetish because it’s accepted behavior. For that matter, if I preferred men it would also be a preference and not a fetish because homosexuality is also generally accepted. That’s easy. Let’s take a look at my interest in hairless genitals: If I was unable to consider sex with a hairy woman, shaved females would be a fetish. Yes, shaved pussy is generally accepted but society doesn’t dictate all women should remove their pubic hair. In my case, I prefer the shaved pussy but I’m content, even delighted, my one with hair as well.

However you could say the fact that I strongly desire my own body to be hair free is a fetish. It’s not that I’m miserable when my body hair grows back. It’s that I work hard to keep myself hairless because I feel much sexier that way. Wearing a chastity device is certainly a fetish. It’s unusual and for those of us who wear them, a very strong need. In my case, I prefer chastity devices as well as other things in the bondage category. I wouldn’t say it’s a fetish of mine because I’m quite happy if I’m not wearing one.

My fetish, at least one of them, is sexual control. I really need Mrs. Lion to own my penis and absolutely control if and when it gets a chance to ejaculate. I suppose my desire for her to be my disciplining wife could also be considered a fetish. I think that’s probably debatable. The reason it is stems from the fact that it represents a very broad area of our lives. A fetish tends to be reasonably localized. Hairless genitals and wearing chastity devices are easily defined. A Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) is much broader and harder to define. It’s more of a lifestyle choice than a fetish.

Things like hairless genitals and maybe even one day, chastity devices can become part of the generally accepted sexual behavior in our society. I wonder if wearing a chastity device changes from a fetish to a preference if wearing one becomes a generally accepted sexual practice. Certainly in the context of our day-to-day communications, the word “fetish” has a generally negative connotation. If you have a fetish you are less socially acceptable. It doesn’t matter what the fetish is, simply identifying something you do as a fetish makes you an oddball. On the other hand, if the same behavior is generally accepted, even if not particularly popular, it’s a preference which has no negative connotation.

Of course, the elephant in the room is how you define something as being generally acceptable or not acceptable. I suppose the only reasonable way to consider this is to limit the scope of the idea something is generally acceptable. If the people close to me consider things I do or like as a little odd but okay, then what I am doing is a preference. If they can’t imagine a normal person having or doing whatever it is, they probably think of it as a fetish and consider me a weirdo.

When I first started removing my pubic hair it was most certainly not acceptable for a man to do that. Let’s face it, a lot of men still consider doing that as effeminate or gay. I was very self-conscious about it because I knew that’s how people generally thought about it. Now, 20 years later, I have a preference for keeping my genitals hair free. Other people may still consider it unusual but they almost certainly don’t think of it as a sign of something else such as being effeminate.

By the way, in the days that hairless balls were considered almost taboo, I lost my pubic hair when the woman I was dating expressed unhappiness when she noticed my pubic hair was getting longer. When I first met her I had kept it trimmed to about an inch. After we were together, because she never said anything, I let it grow. Finally about a month after we were sexual partners, she expressed unhappiness that I was so hairy. She hadn’t realized that I had been trimmed when we met. What could I do? I told her to groom me the way she liked.

She readily agreed and left the room. She came back with a bowl of water, some soap and disposable razor. She told me to lie back. I asked her what she was going to do. She smiled and told me that she would take care of the excess hair. She began shaving me. I had a lot of pubic hair in those days and my thighs were hairy too. I could feel her going to work. By the way, at the time she had me tied to the bed, spread eagle. I really didn’t have a lot of choice anyway. She worked away and when she finished, she used a washcloth to get rid of any of the soap left around my genitals. I was rock hard. Then she moved up on my body and almost started shaving my armpits. That was too much for me. I asked her not to do it and she agreed.

From that day on I had no pubic hair. At one point I asked her how she decided how far she was going to shave. She told me to drop my pants. She then grabbed the head of my penis pulled hard and used it to define a circle on my body. She said that she didn’t want hair anywhere my penis could reach. Okay fair enough. As time went on she went past that boundary and kept my inner thighs and tummy hair free too.

I got to like it a lot. I guess you could say I acquired a fetish. Over the years, the fetish grew and more real estate lost its fur. I cultivated the fetish by getting laser hair removal of my pubic area. That represented a real commitment since the hair would never return even if I change my mind. Fortunately, I haven’t changed my mind. What did change was that I no longer had a fetish; now I have a preference!