This coming Friday I go back to the surgeon for a one week checkup on my left eye. If that goes well, Mrs. Lion said we will resume our normal rules. That means she will resume her disciplinary wifely duties. We talked about this a little bit and we agree that we both miss that aspect of our marriage. I’m also restricted in terms of sexual activity. I’m not sure why, but the post surgical instruction sheet wanted us to avoid “intimate” activities for a week or two. By default, that means I’m waiting whether either of us likes it or not. I suspect that at the same time we resume our FLRD, we will also resume sexual activity.

I don’t feel sick. My libido is just fine. It’s true that the medication I have to put into my eye post surgically makes the world very dark. It doesn’t make me feel sick or weak. I’m ready to go. Unfortunately, we have to allow for a little more healing. I’m very frustrated by this. For some reason, I didn’t think Mrs. Lion would be particularly disturbed by suspending our disciplinary relationship. It turns out that it bothers her too.

I don’t understand how Mrs. Lion thinks about all this. I’m not sure she has a concrete grip on it either. It hasn’t been necessary to consider in any detail. After all, we began both the enforced male chastity and disciplinary activities as services to me; things that I want to need. Mrs. Lion has been providing them under that banner since we started. Only now, when we have had to suspend both power exchanges, has it become apparent that what started out as indulging my kinky needs has metamorphosed into something we both need.

Obviously, our need isn’t the same. Mine is a consistent wish for chastity and spanking. At least it started that way. Now, it’s much deeper and I feel it as an essential fiber the tapestry of our relationship. I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion has a good idea why she feels we are better off as a couple with our disciplinary relationship. I suppose it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that she acknowledges that she needs it too.

As it’s well-documented here, we’ve gone through a lot of trial and error working out both my chastity and our disciplinary relationship. We both feel we are at a good point. We both feel good about using serial spankings for punishment. The only hitch Mrs. Lion mentioned is that she sometimes loses track of how many more I have to go, and what a particular spanking as punishment for. We’ve been able to effectively use this method of punishment even without accurate reminders of what each spanking addresses. I suggested that Mrs. Lion keep a calendar and note how many spankings she needs to deliver and for what. That would be helpful but I don’t think it’s really necessary.

I know that a lot of people who practice this make a very big point about scolding and lecturing the disciplined male on why he is being punished. It certainly is a fundamental tenet in the parental discipline handbook. I honestly don’t know how important it is for us. I don’t seem to have any trouble remembering why my bottom is being blistered on any given day.

This may be one of the big differences between parental and adult corporal punishment. At least in my case, I have no trouble remembering what brought me into the spanking position on any given day. I admit that it’s helpful when I know that Mrs. Lion also remembers. Whether she remembers or not, I feel her spanking strongly.

The reason that I’ve been writing so much about this lately is partly because my medical issues have taken it away from us. Surprisingly to me at least, it’s left a hole in our relationship. It got me thinking about what we do and why we do it. I think I have a better understanding of how FLRD integrates into our marriage. I also think I understand why I’ve consistently tried to get Mrs. Lion to become stricter when she spanks me. I may not be able to explain it clearly, but I understand a very deep level how important it is that when I’m punished, the punishment is meaningful. It has to be more than what I would ask for in a BDSM play situation. It has to be enough to make me take it seriously and most importantly, make me think twice before misbehaving again.

I think Mrs. Lion understands too. When we are allowed to begin again, I expect it may be a bit different. We’ve both had time to consider what we’ve been missing. Maybe we’ll even talk about it more between now and when we can resume. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lion will get plenty of practice growling at me.