One of the most significant challenges I face is understanding how enforced male chastity integrates in my day-to-day life. Obviously, I don’t have any control over access to my penis. That’s not what I’m thinking about. It relates to a much larger question that every couple face: How do we integrate sex in a long-term relationship?
A lot of people consider it a given that over time sexual frequency drops. Sometimes it’s attributed to loss of libido that comes with age. Other times, it’s chalked off to boredom. I think that one of the big attractions of enforced male chastity and other sexual power exchanges is that they rejuvenate interest in sex.
In our case, I definitely wanted to find a way for us to have more sex. Granted, our situation was a bit extreme. Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex years before we began enforced chastity. It took me a long time to realize I had to do something if I wanted Mrs. Lion to have interest in the fact that I’m still a horny guy.
Since enforced male chastity is normally a two-person game, starting it opened the door to a much more active sex life for me. It also gave Mrs. Lion a way to sexually satisfy me without feeling pressure to have sex herself. It hasn’t been perfect. We’ve struggled with lots of issues along the way. These issues still sometimes come up. But we have good ways to deal with them.
My biggest challenge is accepting that it’s okay for me to have orgasms without providing them to Mrs. Lion. Intellectually, I understand that she doesn’t want orgasms. She simply isn’t interested. Still, I regularly feel selfish having one-way sex. She assures me that she enjoys getting me off. I still struggle with trying to believe that.
I think that in order for any couple to add enforced chastity and/or female led relationship with discipline (FLRD) to their marriage, there has to be value beyond the obvious. In our case, FLRD balances our personalities. I’m generally an assertive guy and my lioness is very easy-going. By putting the paddle firmly into her hand, she has a real way to assert herself. Beyond that, she knows I expect her to use that paddle to make her wishes known.
There’s a lesson in this. If you want to add enforced chastity or FLRD to your relationship, it takes more than just announcing that she has the power. There is a long educational process required for both partners. We have to work hard to build the habits that support our choices.
For a very long time we struggled with our roles. Now,things are going very smoothly. The sure sign this is happening is that the last few times I’ve earned a spanking, I absolutely didn’t want it. In prior times, Mrs. Lion would not have spanked me because I wasn’t interested in it. Now, it doesn’t matter whether I’m in the mood or not. If I break a rule, I get spanked.
I think we both realize that even though the chastity device isn’t really needed, if it ever was, to prevent me from masturbating, we need it for other reasons. When I wear it, I feel much more vulnerable. I don’t have access to the security screwdriver that allows it to come off. That tool is locked in a safe and I can’t open it.
I’m not sure if having me wear the cage has any real effect on Mrs. Lion. I’ve tried to talk about this a few times, but so far I don’t think she’s crystallized exactly how she feels. For now, we’re leaving that subject alone. She has me locked up and has made it clear the cage stays on until right before I go to the hospital. She’s also said it’s going back on within weeks after I come home.
I’m sure we’ll find out how she feels soon enough.