It’s difficult for me to understand exactly why the idea of enforced male chastity caught my attention. I can’t remember exactly where I heard about it for the first time. Can you remember how you were introduced to the concept?
My initial reaction to the idea of losing access to my penis was pretty negative. I got a little tingle thinking about it, but the idea of not being able to ejaculate seemed like one of those things that was much better in fantasy than in fact. I was immediately interested in the hardware. When I first learned about it, almost all male chastity devices were belts. Almost all of the guys who wrote about it, did it to see how long it would take them to escape.
This could very well be the reason to this day guys worry about security. Recreational male chastity was always initiated by the man.originally, chastity devices were invented to prevent male masturbation. Unlike the myths about knights locking up their damsels while they were off at the Crusades, the reality is that in Victorian England it was believed that male masturbation led to insanity.
Asylums lock devices on their male patients as a way of protecting them from further degradation. Some parents also use devices on their male children to prevent them from descending into the darkness of insanity. This practice carried over into the United States as well. The US patent office has thousands of patents for male chastity devices. Most of them feature sharp spikes that penetrate the penis if it attempts erection. There is no record of widespread use of these devices.
Modern chastity, both male and female, dates back to the 1950s. There isn’t much information out there about those times. Much later, in the 90s, Internet chat rooms attracted like-minded chastity enthusiasts. I discovered one of these bulletin boards which featured stories and information about various chastity devices chastity “hobbyists” would make her by devices and then report on how they managed to escape. The penalty for failing to escape was the frustration of not being able to ejaculate.
Access Denied made full scale chastity belts. They were designed to be escape proof. As far as I know, they were. 75% of their customers were men and 25% were women. The women reported that they bought the belts for their own use as a way of protecting themselves from rape when they were out and about.
Like today, the men bought them as a way to experience sexual bondage. Some people wonder why women don’t also enjoy the idea of being locked away. I’m sure some might, but the reality is enclosing a vagina in a protective device is a prescription for infection and serious problems.
Anyway, somehow I discovered the idea of enforced male chastity. I was really turned on by the idea of a device locking up my penis so that I couldn’t touch it. It was a new way to be tied up. That to me was really hot. Now, many years later, it still is. Is this also the reason other guys like enforced male chastity? I suspect it’s always somewhere in the mix.
Based on what I’ve been able to learn, there are other, more complex reasons to be locked up. It appears that a lot of men who practice enforced male chastity, want to surrender more general power. They may imagine themselves trading ejaculation for other services. This, of course, is the basis of most chastity fantasies. You know, the poor soul is locked up in a chastity device and isn’t released to allow him to masturbate until his partner has (fill in the number here) orgasms.
Other fantasies show trading ejaculation for successfully performing housework and other menial chores. Frequently he has to wear women’s underwear as well. Underneath these fantasies is arousal at the idea of submitting sexually to a woman (or a man if you’re gay). It’s a very graphic form of submission and allegedly harnesses the strongest force in the universe: a man’s desire to ejaculate.
That’s the fantasy. To some extent a lot of us make that fantasy real. On the surface it’s a BDSM scene. In fact, most people who play with enforced male chastity treated as a scene. The lockups last the weekend and are part of a more elaborate BDSM situation. Those of us who practice it full-time, have to come to grips with the reality that trying to make a power exchange fantasy a lifestyle is pretty much impossible.
Guys who try, end up turning off their partners. It’s a lot of work to be a top. I’m lucky that Mrs. Lion and I have been able to put together a power exchange that works for both of us. She’s had full sexual control for more than five years now. I periodically come up with new twists and she gamely gives him a try. Most of them just don’t fit and she abandons them.
What never varies is the fact that she retains absolute control over when and if I get to ejaculate. She gives me a little bit of leeway about giving myself an erection when I’m not locked in a cage. But she’s made it clear that if I abuse that privilege, I will be in a cage forever. That’s pretty hot!
I think it’s very important that we think about what we’re doing and why we want to do it. It’s not fair to simply tell our partners to lock us up and then judge them on how well they satisfy our deep-seated fantasies. Enforced male chastity is a negotiated activity. It’s fully consensual and both partners have to agree how it will be practiced. Of course, this is not the way the fantasy goes. Too bad. As far as I can tell, the only way to be successful in all this is to communicate, communicate, and communicate more. At some point, perhaps, you may be surprised by what your keyholder does. Just don’t expect that.
Surprisingly, I’ve never done a blog post on this.
For me, it was web surfing in the 90s on late night dialup. I ran across an aggregate of kinky links, and one of them led me to Altairboy’s Chastity site. My initial reaction was “That’s weird – I spent most of my adult life trying to have sex, why would these guys not want it?”
But a few months later I was back reading the stories. Then a few weeks later. Then I became a weekly reader, checking for updates. Then I began writing my own. Eventually I began building my own devices, and finally introduced Mrs Edge.
I still think it’s weird.
Yeah, it’s weird all right. The Altairboy site was one of the first I discovered as well. It was fun to read about all the homemade chastity devices. It’s also where, I think, the whole idea of chastity device security has its origin. After all, the site was exclusively about self-locked guys who try to escape their devices. There’s absolutely no logic to trying to escape. After all, we’re the ones who wanted to be locked.
My initial reaction was just like yours. It made no sense. But, I got a woody every time I thought about it. Like you, I became a regular reader and spent a lot of time chasing websites run by people who made chastity devices. Most of the manufacturers were happy to supply samples. Most of the devices I got were too dangerous to where. They had sharp edges that could do permanent damage. I wrote about the ones I could try but never wore them for long. Many years later, I asked my wife to lock me up and I began writingThe Journal. It looks like we have parallel pasts.
My interest started as a passing curiosity, figuring it would be a fun periodic kink. I lucked into finding the perfect woman right around that time, and she was already familiar with the concept. Within weeks it became a 24/7 arrangement, as we both realized we were into it and that it works for us. The primary benefit for us is in the power exchange, and how it reflects her ownership of me and my submission to her. She enjoys the control and how it subverts my base needs to hers. I’ve found that my needs have evolved significantly, though the “wants” still come up sometimes. Real life is far different than the oft-mentioned fantasies, and far more fulfilling. We actually don’t communicate about it a lot on average – it is just how things are now.
I first heard about male chastity devices about 15 years ago. Initially, I just thought that they were a means of enabling women to prevent their partners ‘playing away from home’. It took me a while to learn that this was not the case at all, but was a way in which a male could transfer control over his penis to his partner, either on the initiative of the male or the partner.
At first, I found the whole concept abhorrent, but at the same time I became fascinated with it (a sort of hate/love fascination). About 2009, a Mistress wanted to take me on as one of her subs, but a condition was that I agreed to allow her to cage my penis. Since at that time I was not willing to agree to this condition, the arrangement fell through, even though I desired it. (She told me that she loved the feeling of power that control of her subs’ masculinity by locking up their penises gave her, and that for her having this power was an essential ingredient of any D/s relationship she entered into)
Nevertheless, the fascination with being locked did not go away. Indeed, I became obsessed with it, no doubt for some of the reasons mentioned by Mr Lion. I met my present partner (who is now my Queen) in 2010. By 2013, I had surrendered control of my masculinity to her and this led to my penis (now hers) being caged full-time. I have absolutely no regrets. Not only do I love the tease and denial aspect, but I am proud to wear the cage for her; it’s like a wedding ring. She does give me ‘release’ from to time, though not, I suspect, as frequently as Mrs Lion gives Mr Lion.
I had seen cages on men in S&M movies for years. Never thought about it much until 3 years ago when I started seeing people were incorporating it in their relationships. I spent a long time after that reading and thinking it over. As a man with a natural submissive streak towards women and a very strong, independent thinking wife I asked her to try this. She agreed and it has been 24/7 caged for almost 2 years now. We communicate all the time. It is part of our marriage and is staying. She has come to love her power position and my desire to be under her control. But yes, the cage is something I like too. It is a very real thing between us!!