Look Ma, No Hardware

jail bird chastity device
My Jail Bird sits empty on my dresser, but our male chastity is stronger than ever.

More than a third of our marriage has been spent with me in male chastity. We’re close to completing our fifth year doing this. As the kink world goes, this is a remarkable achievement. Of course, there are others who have been at it even longer. Our adventure is fully documented in this blog. What we do now is very different than what I expected all those years ago. Our power exchange has evolved a great deal.

The biggest change, I think, is that we are not dependent on hardware to make male chastity work. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, I meant it literally. I spent 24-hours-a-day locked in a male chastity device for over three years. I was only released for teasing sessions as well as the occasional orgasm. It was on over 95% of the time.

A little over a year ago I had shoulder surgery. While it might have been possible to stay caged after the surgery, it would have been very difficult for me while I recovered. Mrs. Lion allowed me to remain wild (uncaged). The fact that my penis wasn’t encased in steel didn’t change anything in terms of male chastity. During this time we realized that the cage isn’t necessary for us.

My kink, at least when we started, was centered around the idea that I was helpless to get myself off. No matter how much I wanted to come, the physical device would keep me from it. A lot of guys who are into male chastity are motivated by this very hot sexual bondage fantasy.

The reality, as I’m sure you know, is that there isn’t a practical, escape-proof chastity device. So what? I asked to be locked up. I didn’t want it so that I could prove I could escape and jerk off. I wanted any choice as to if and when I ejaculate to be Mrs.Lion’s, not mine. Three years locked in my Jail Bird met that requirement. I could have pulled out, I suppose. I never tried.

I like the hardware a lot. It’s hot to feel my cock locked out of reach. It’s still a turn on for me. However, that has very little to do with male chastity. Yes, the device has been a great educational tool for Mrs. Lion. I haven’t masturbated in almost five years. I no longer want to. I’m conditioned on a very deep level to look to Mrs. Lion for my sexual pleasure. I know that if I “forget”, I’ll be back in the cage where I will nave no need to remember.

The bottom line in male chastity is that the male, me, has no control over if or when he can ejaculate. Mrs. Lion has full control. That’s the main kink, if you will. The device is a good training aid; no question about that. But at this point, it provides me with a nice way to play with my bondage fetish. I like being restrained. A chastity device restrains me full time!

A chastity device is not necessary to assure that I never ejaculate on my own or with anyone other than Mrs. Lion. I’m pretty sure I’ll be locked up at times. Mrs. Lion will do it because she knows it’s something I want. It’s also something I don’t want. It’s inconvenient and makes peeing a pain. It pinches now and then and requires adjustment. The first two weeks or so, I wonder what I was thinking about when I asked to be locked up. Then I settle in.

From my point of view, the biggest loss I feel when locked in a device is the inability to enjoy an erection. I get morning wood like most men. I also sometimes get an erection at night when falling asleep. I like those experiences. The cage is too small to support even slight growth.

The chastity device isn’t really part of our male chastity life. It’s now in the same category as butt plugs, dildos, and other BDSM toys. We’ve proven that we don’t need hardware for this power exchange. Male chastity isn’t about hardware. It’s all about control.

2 Comments

  1. I understand where you’ve reached but personally I still like to be caged. It just is a constant reminder of her control and power! For me, that’s the turn on. So I’m always glad when she says, “Put your cage back on”. Despite the difficulties peeing.

    1. Author

      It’s a turn on for me too. I’m conflicted about being wild.

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