Submission takes a real toll on a person; not the submissive, but the person expected to be dominant. I spent nearly a decade as a full-time (24/7) master. I had a live-in slave who expected me to be unrelentingly in charge. The fact that I survived a decade in this role is less attributable to my steadfast commitment to my dominant personality than it was to the inertia of keeping the status quo.

The emotional cost was huge. During the time we were together, I bottomed in some BDSM scenes. That helped the Yin Yang of power exchanges. But it was doomed to end badly. Over time, I withdrew more and more. She, of course, felt neglected. We finally parted company barely speaking to one another.

I know that a lot of the fantasies around domination and submission are about 24/7 power exchanges. It may be sexy to imagine yourself under the control of a strict, demanding keyholder/disciplining wife, but that stuff can get tiring. I think that some guys who propose enforced chastity encumbered with endless rules, sexual favors, and constant reference to their cocks, generally either fail to find someone willing to try it or fail quickly if they do.

The people I know who actually manage this over years, like us, don’t live in this D/S world. Yes, I have rules that are strictly enforced. They are behavioral and uncomplicated. I can’t masturbate, interrupt, eat first, etc. Punishment is administered at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. We spend almost all of our time as a normal couple who deal with life as partners. I pay the bills. Mrs. Lion does a lot of the housework. We both cook and clean up. It’s exactly the same way we lived prior to any power exchange.

We both recognize that the chastity device I wore all those years was for me. I like that kink and enjoy bondage. Mrs. Lion indulges that. Again, that was uncomplicated as well. I stayed locked in. She unlocked me for teasing, shaving and trips. There was very little conversational reference to it. Of course it prevented me from erections and masturbating. I won’t cheat anyway. I’ve been unlocked for six months with no temptation to jerk off. I’m well trained.

My point is that if you are interested in a FLR (either as dominant or submissive), the first thing to realize is that a relationship isn’t sustainable if it is based on a relentless power exchange. It’s ok to always take one role, but it isn’t particularly useful to expect life to be a 24/7 D/S scene. The key to long-term power exchanges is simple: moderation.

Yes, you can be locked in a chastity device 24/7. Yes, she can make rules and punish you for breaking them. You can be made to wear panties if you want. I don’t know any women who particularly care what underwear their partners wear. The point is that FLR and enforced chastity are real and can be practiced for life if and only if it is done with moderation.

1 Comment

  1. Author

    Spot on. We are a learning more each day.

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