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In: Mrs Lion Comments

When I’m not actually in the act of whomping Lion, he thinks I should hit harder. Last night I did hit harder. He was not a fan.

I hit him with the tenderizer paddle for his punishment swats. I selected that one because it has a fairly broad head and I can hit both cheeks at once if I want to. I wanted to. I don’t know how many swats there were. I did them one at a time, with some time in between for Lion to get himself together. I hit hard. Not as hard as I can, but still hard. I started out with the flat side of the paddle. I only used the tenderizer side for four swats or so. I don’t think either one of us expected the paddle to draw blood. I continued for a bit after Lion said he’d had enough. It’s not his call when enough is enough.

Afterwards, Lion was concerned that there was any blood, even when I said there was less coming out of his butt than there was coming out of a sore on my finger after my shower. It was painful to sit and he didn’t want to get blood all over the place. Painful was the point of the whole exercise and there wasn’t enough blood to get all over the place. He was positive he’d have bruises. He doesn’t. I think he likes to be dramatic. But what would happen if I did hit as hard as I could?

Certainly, with that paddle, there would be more blood. I’m fairly sure he would have some bruising. I’m positive he’d have a hard time sitting. But why would I want to go that far? What’s the purpose of hitting as hard as I can? That seems vindictive. I want to hit just hard enough to prove my point. Whether he feels it long-term or not is another matter. I want him to associate that infraction with the pain of a spanking and work hard to avoid it. I don’t want him to think of the spanking and resent me for going too far.

The bottom line (no pun intended) is that I’m walking a fine line here. I want to hit harder because he wants me to, but then I feel bad when he tells me how much it hurts. I know he has a tough old butt. That doesn’t help much when I know how much it stings.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal
tenderizer spanking paddle
This paddle has raised pyramids. When applied strongly, this paddle leaves behind litle marks. The pain lasts for hours.

Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to write about discipline. At least it isn’t when your wife and disciplinarian reads your posts. Mrs. Lion owed me a punishment last night. Monday and Thursday are punishment days. On Sunday I didn’t help put away groceries. Mrs. Lion didn’t like that. She wrote about her displeasure in her post yesterday. I read what she writes too. So, last night after her shower, Mrs. Lion went to her paddle collection and picked out the one with the points on one side.

She came over to my side of the bed and told me to turn over on my stomach. She then administered hard swats, pausing after each one for me to settle down. Oh boy did it hurt! When she finally stopped, there were small drops of blood on my butt. That is a first! I’m writing this just after she finished. My hind quarters still burn. For the record, I remembered to thank her once she finished.

She also teased me that I wrote she should keep going until I got numb and then keep going for a lasting effect. I did write that. I’m glad she didn’t do that this time. I imagine that I will have bruises where each little point hit.

Yes, I do fantasize about being spanked. Thinking about getting one is a turn on. That’s one reason I write about it with such passion. For the record, I hated last night’s spanking.  I also have to admit that it wasn’t very severe in the scope of domestic discipline. I hated each swat. It was severe for me.

Last night was a learning experience for me. It reminded me that I have to be much more aware of what I do. Leaving Mrs. Lion to put the groceries away was wrong. I deserved the spanking. As much as I hated it, that spanking also centered me. Apparently, I need this physical reminder of my place. Even though it truly hurts to sit here and write this post, I feel good; not sexual good, but emotionally right. Perhaps I need my butt spanked for more than discipline.

I know I really like BDSM play spankings. But after getting one, I’m sort of turned on. After tonight’s disciplinary spanking I’m not a bit aroused. But I am oddly at peace. Mrs. Lion did the right thing by spanking me last night. She was right to hit me hard. It feels odd to say this, especially now while I am still smarting, but I need to learn to take more. Mrs. Lion is learning to be harsher. I have to learn to handle receiving a disciplinary spanking.

Last night was certainly a good start. I can feel it well enough to stop writing and get pressure off my bottom. More when it doesn’t hurt so much.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion had the idea of using the training collar as both a reward and punishment device. A shock would be for punishment. A vibration would be for a reward. I decided it was worth a try. And try it we did.

Both Saturday and Sunday we were out shopping. When Lion did something nice, like remembering something we had forgotten to put on the list, or lifting something heavy, or finding something he knew I’d like, he got a vibration. He’s usually on his best behavior when he’s wearing the training collar so nothing warranted a shock. I also insisted he get a particular item he was interested in as a sort of a reward. Overall I think it went well.

When we got home yesterday and he disappeared into the bedroom to get naked, things changed. Sometimes we get something that he just has to play with: a new gadget, a piece of mail with an interesting website that he just has to check out, etc. Yesterday he just disappeared. I was left to put the groceries away by myself. I’ve told him in the past that I hate when he goes off to play with something that could have waited. I know it’s not his strong suit to put things away. I know he’s not good with the Jenga of the refrigerator or the freezer. But there were things to go downstairs and I created a garbage bag full of things that were dead or dying when I cleaned out the refrigerator to make room for the new food.

I even tried the training collar as I walked into the bedroom, but he’d already taken it off when he got naked. So Lion has something on his punishment list for tonight. Swats it is. Now I’ll let you in on a little secret. The reason I don’t whomp Lion at the time of the infraction is that I don’t want to swat him when I’m angry. If I set a precedent to whomp him the second he spills food on himself, then I’d be bound to whomp him when he pisses me off like yesterday. If I whomp him when he pisses me off, I don’t think there would be any waiting between swats. I wouldn’t have the willpower to stop myself to let him get accustomed to the pain. I’d want to give him the ten rapid-fire-hard-as-I-can swats. And then he’d squirm and I’d have to give him more for moving.

I don’t remember what my sons did one day, but it really got me angry. They were sitting at the kitchen table and I told them that they should go to their room because I wanted to hit them and if I started hitting, I wasn’t sure I could stop. They looked at each other and then at me and decided I was serious enough that they didn’t want to push their luck. Aside from the occasional spanking when they were very little, I didn’t ever hit them, but something was about to snap and I didn’t want them around to feel the brunt of it.

Lion thinks he wants me to take out my aggression on him. He’s wrong. There’s a reason I used to go to batting cages. It’s much safer to knock the hell out of a baseball than it is to knock the hell out of a person. I don’t ever want to hit Lion in anger. I need some time to calm down and get things into perspective. Punishment nights are very beneficial in that regard. However, if he’d been wearing the training collar, I would have zapped him quite a few times yesterday.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

We’re both remembering the fairly new rule that I have to wear my training collar when we go out together. We went out shopping both Saturday and Sunday. Both days I strapped on the training collar before putting on my underpants. Progress. I’ve figured out how to wear it so that I barely notice it is there. I locate the device as far back on my perineum as I can. This assures better contact when standing and is very comfortable when sitting. I have noticed that when I sit, the contacts press in a bit more. A much lower setting gets my attention than would be needed when I stand.

So far Mrs. Lion has only used the device for play. Generally, I’ll get a vibration at random times. She’s only shocked me a couple of times in public. Both were for fun. I’m not surprised that it isn’t getting very much use. It’s new and Mrs. Lion hasn’t decided when she should correct me. It’s the same dilemma she has about when to reward me: what are the criteria for correction or reward. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about things I do that could warrant correction. I’m stumped when it comes to things that need correction when we are in public. Mrs. Lion can be pretty creative. I’m sure she will think of something.

Rewards are a totally different ball game. The problem is that I generally do what I want. That means the sort of thing you might use to reward a child don’t work for me. If I want a treat, I get one. If I want to order something in a restaurant, I do it. The only thing I can’t do if I like is get sexual stimulation. Enforced chastity takes care of that.

We’ve never used sex as a reward. I’m not sure we should. But the pattern that created the opportunity is instructive. The chastity device takes away my ability to stimulate myself sexually. That, in turn, gives Mrs. Lion the opportunity to provide this pleasure as she wishes. Much as I hate to admit it, the only way to provide significant rewards to me is to remove my ability to provide things I like for myself.

I don’t think Mrs. Lion is very interested in this sort of control. I don’t particularly want it either. Does that mean we shouldn’t consider this? No, it doesn’t mean that at all. How would we do it? I would have to agree to stop providing myself with some things. It would be a punishable offense if I cheat. I suppose this is doable, but is it worth the effort?

I don’t think so; at least for now. It’s just more pressure on both of us. I think a more organic approach is in order. I’m sure Mrs. Lion can find ways to reward me. Some rewards could be sexual. She’s very creative that way. Others could be giving me things I like. Just because I can give myself things, doesn’t mean I do. Telling me I am a good boy with some nice pats on the rear or ball rubs sends a very positive message.

In fact, when I am wearing the training collar, sending a few seconds of vibrations could be a reward too. No, it doesn’t arouse me. But if Mrs. Lion tells me that when I please her, she will send vibrations, then I will be excited when I get that positive feedback. The training collar offers the opportunity to reward and correct. Perhaps it represents a good start in the reward department.

The purpose of positive reinforcement is to encourage positive choices. I think vigilance in discovering both infractions and good behavior will help build our FLR.