We’re both remembering the fairly new rule that I have to wear my training collar when we go out together. We went out shopping both Saturday and Sunday. Both days I strapped on the training collar before putting on my underpants. Progress. I’ve figured out how to wear it so that I barely notice it is there. I locate the device as far back on my perineum as I can. This assures better contact when standing and is very comfortable when sitting. I have noticed that when I sit, the contacts press in a bit more. A much lower setting gets my attention than would be needed when I stand.
So far Mrs. Lion has only used the device for play. Generally, I’ll get a vibration at random times. She’s only shocked me a couple of times in public. Both were for fun. I’m not surprised that it isn’t getting very much use. It’s new and Mrs. Lion hasn’t decided when she should correct me. It’s the same dilemma she has about when to reward me: what are the criteria for correction or reward. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about things I do that could warrant correction. I’m stumped when it comes to things that need correction when we are in public. Mrs. Lion can be pretty creative. I’m sure she will think of something.
Rewards are a totally different ball game. The problem is that I generally do what I want. That means the sort of thing you might use to reward a child don’t work for me. If I want a treat, I get one. If I want to order something in a restaurant, I do it. The only thing I can’t do if I like is get sexual stimulation. Enforced chastity takes care of that.
We’ve never used sex as a reward. I’m not sure we should. But the pattern that created the opportunity is instructive. The chastity device takes away my ability to stimulate myself sexually. That, in turn, gives Mrs. Lion the opportunity to provide this pleasure as she wishes. Much as I hate to admit it, the only way to provide significant rewards to me is to remove my ability to provide things I like for myself.
I don’t think Mrs. Lion is very interested in this sort of control. I don’t particularly want it either. Does that mean we shouldn’t consider this? No, it doesn’t mean that at all. How would we do it? I would have to agree to stop providing myself with some things. It would be a punishable offense if I cheat. I suppose this is doable, but is it worth the effort?
I don’t think so; at least for now. It’s just more pressure on both of us. I think a more organic approach is in order. I’m sure Mrs. Lion can find ways to reward me. Some rewards could be sexual. She’s very creative that way. Others could be giving me things I like. Just because I can give myself things, doesn’t mean I do. Telling me I am a good boy with some nice pats on the rear or ball rubs sends a very positive message.
In fact, when I am wearing the training collar, sending a few seconds of vibrations could be a reward too. No, it doesn’t arouse me. But if Mrs. Lion tells me that when I please her, she will send vibrations, then I will be excited when I get that positive feedback. The training collar offers the opportunity to reward and correct. Perhaps it represents a good start in the reward department.
The purpose of positive reinforcement is to encourage positive choices. I think vigilance in discovering both infractions and good behavior will help build our FLR.
what brand/model number do you wear?
buckle/snaps seem a little clunky & in the way.
you are a lucky man.
It was the PetSafe Smart Dog trainer collar (link). We cut the strap down to a much shorter length. Mrs. Lion sewed Velcro to the straps for fastening. It is quick and easy.
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