The Ugly Penis

In my experience, very few women actively like looking at penises.They seem to think of them the same way they think about hand tools. You know, useful tools that have multiple purposes, but not something you keep a picture of in your phone to smile at during a private moment. They do like what the toolr can do. They like the way it can make other things work better (us). But as an object of art, no. On the other hand, most really like power some power tools. Alas, we don’t come equipped with those.

Mrs. Lion has never shown any real interest in looking at my penis, hard or soft. She does, however, actively seek opportunities to see my bare ass, especially with my balls hanging down. I’m a little surprised she doesn’t have that picture in her phone. Now she probably will. It isn’t that she doesn’t like my penis. She enjoys controlling it by making it hard. She likes to make me ejaculate. She really likes how happy her attention to it makes me. But as something to look at, not so much. On the other hand, I like the way my penis looks. Like most guys, I take pride in my erection. I don’t carry around a picture of it either. That would seem too vain. There is clearly a visual disconnect about my sex organ.

By extension, guys who wear them, are very visually involved with chastity devices. Some spend many thousands of dollars on exotic devices that please them aesthetically. I have a custom-made Jail Bird. My penis largely stays in view when the cage is on and the device itself has a nice, industrial look.

The thing is, Mrs. Lion isn’t all that interested in the device. I’m not convinced that she is terribly involved in the idea that I wear one at all. After our last summer trip, she didn’t lock me back up in the device. I stayed unlocked for almost a month until I asked her if she wanted me to be back in the device. She said that she thought I had learned to control myself and could be trusted not to masturbate or find other sexual outlets no matter how horny I felt. The device wasn’t really necessary.

She was right. While we haven’t tested it, I think I am past self-release, if not the occasional assisted erection. There was a much more significant message in that comment: To her, the important thing is that I have surrendered control. The device was a teaching tool. There is no downside to maintaining the orgasm control without the cage.

Then why did I ask about the device? Did I miss it? Mrs. Lion opined that I was worried things would slip back into no sexual activity if the cage wasn’t there as a reminder. I do think that is a risk in the same way I might jerk off at some point without authorization. For the record, I am never permitted to masturbate, ever. Any sexual sensations come from Mrs. Lion.

I began this adventure because I wanted to try enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion agreed and off we went. We lasted this long because the power exchange has significantly enhanced our relationship. I can be trusted to be wild without any real risk of sexual activity not provided by my lioness. Our communication and physical closeness have improved dramatically. We aren’t going back.

Once we remove the obvious sexual control issue from my continued wearing of a chastity device, we get down to reasons that don’t involve our power exchange at all. My ego would like to think that Mrs. Lion wants me to wear the device because she likes how it looks on me. I would like that a lot.

I have a love/hate relationship with the device. There are times it is inconvenient and uncomfortable. It’s a real inconvenience when I want to pee. It can be uncomfortable on trips when I sit in a car or plane for hours. I worry that the bulge will be noticed. I love that the device makes it impossible for me to get hard, much less come, no matter how badly I want it. I love that Mrs. Lion, not me, has absolute control.

It’s like bondage to me. There is a big difference between something physical actively preventing me from even massaging my penis and my self control being the only barrier. I have the self control. I’m not worried I will succumb. But there is something arousing about that control being physically taken from me.

Sure, I can see that from Mrs. Lion’s perspective, what really counts is that I honor my sexual surrender. As long as she is confident I won’t cheat, the device isn’t necessary. But from my point of view there is a vast difference. When I am locked up, Mrs. Lion is actively controlling me. She locks my penis in the cage and only she can remove it. At least to that extent, she has to think about and act on my chastity. When I am wild, there is no active component for her.

If I could change anything, I would hope Mrs. Lion would want me locked up as much as possible. I would want her to feel that way because she would enjoy the pure control it gives her. When I am wild, she depends on my agreement to honor our power exchange. When I am locked up it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. My penis is unavailable to me, period. I’m wired to be turned on by control that doesn’t require my cooperation.

On those occasions when she lets me know that I have no choice I love it. When she keeps me from coming when I am incredibly desperate for an orgasm, I feel that control. She doesn’t have to tie my hands when I am unlocked to assure I won’t take matters into my own hands, but when she uses restraints, even just my wrists, it’s that much more exciting for me.

You know, it would be really cool if she did have a picture or two in her phone of my penis, maybe showing the rest of me too and maybe one of the cage that she would look at and think fond, lioness thoughts.


  1. Author

    I have noticed this different way of thinking between men and women many times before, although I had not applied it to enforced chastity. Consider a car; for example, a hot rod. The body and paint may have a strong aesthetic appeal, and a woman will often appreciate that for its own sake. But to a man, the mechanics of the engine can also be very appealing, and appreciated for their elegant design; a man will often accept minor inconveniences in return for an exotic feature (“Man, that cam is wild! Sure, it’s a little hard to start, but…”). In the same circumstances, a woman will often just be accepting of the benefits, but more cognizant of the limitations; the implementation details don’t seem to be as important.

    Your feeling, Lion, about how you wish Mrs. Lion would feel exactly parallels my own – well, actually, I wish *my wife* felt that :-). The benefits to her are becoming subtly apparent, and I’ve worked hard to make the implementation as simple as possible for her. Still, I do wish she’d get the same sexual thrill out of seeing me in my cage as I do when I get an unexpected glimpse in the mirror.

    1. Author

      Well, I guess sex organs are not as visually interesting to women as they are to us. Wrapping a penis in a steel cage isn’t likely to increase the interest. Maybe this is a case of eating our cake and having it too. If our wives are actively practicing enforced chastity with us, does it really matter if they don’t feel thrilled when they see our cocks locked in a cage? Given a choice, I think I would rather Mrs. Lion would feel a thrill when she thinks about how badly I want to come and that she is in full sexual control. Over the years, various women have told me that they like giving me oral sex because it puts them in control. The cage does that 24/7. Maybe that is a good source of a thrill for them.

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