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In: 2.0, BDSM

Lion loves bondage. And spanking. And CBT. And anal activities. Lion hates diapers. And nail polish. And raisins. Obviously I can use the first set as rewards, of a sort. The second set can be used as a threat, as punishment, or as a show of power.

Last night, after I did some maintenance spanking, after the nJoy butt plug was out, I used some clothespins on Lion’s balls. When I first took out my bag of tricks, I asked what he would like to play with. First I took out the Velcro. No. He didn’t want to play with that. OK. I didn’t either. I took out a plastic clothespin. No. He didn’t want that. OK. I took out a wooden, no frills clothespin. He said that was fine. He wouldn’t mind that. OK. I proceeded to take out some wooden clothespins. Then I took out a plastic one and told him since I had it in my hand we’d have to use it. A few more wooden. Another plastic. Oops. Another wooden. Another plastic.

I started with a few of the wooden, maybe three, before I put on a plastic. I wasn’t going to use many plastic, but I wanted him to wonder. I wound up only using two plastic ones in the midst of about ten wooden. It certainly wasn’t the most he’s taken. I was trying to replicate the edging we did last week when I edged him and took a clothespin off. Unfortunately, he wasn’t as horny last night as he was last week. What i did notice, as I was edging him, is that he had two pink clothespins on. And we have the same shade of nail polish. I told him I could give him matching toes. Planting the seed that he may have girly toenails in his future. Or not. Sometimes the threat is enough.

The other thing I did last night that may have surprised Lion, is when he asked how long the butt plug would stay in. I don’t normally have a time in mind. I think once I did decide he should hold it for two hours, but I usually wait until he starts squirming. When he wondered how long, I told him he’d have it in until I decided it was time to take it out. He doesn’t often ask and I wondered what prompted it, but I also didn’t have any answer for him. Later on, when he said it was starting to bother him, I decided he should hold it longer. Not much longer, but longer, because that’s what 2.0 does. She’s a bitch and not really into his comfort. He wants her to push him so she pushes him.

I wonder what 2.0 has in store for Lion this weekend. I’m sure Lion will be both uncomfortable and happy.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

There is a significant difference between a keyholder and a caged male. No, not the obvious top/bottom, dom/sub difference. It’s much more profound. Enforced chastity is a 24/7 proposition for the male. My genitals are locked up whether or not my keyholder is present, involved, even thinking about the fact I am caged. That chastity device is my constant companion. It gets in the way when I pee. It occasionally demands I adjust it when it pinches. I can’t forget it’s there. Ever.

My keyholder, Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, only needs to consider enforced chastity when she wants to interact with my penis. In her post yesterday, she talked about the authenticity of her role. She equated herself to an actor playing a doctor in a commercial. “I’m not a real doctor. I play one on TV.” She puts her 2.0 hat on when she wants to play with me or act as my disciplining wife. It seems to make her feel that her role is artificial.

It’s not. It’s a role she assumes with me. It’s no different than her role as my wife; or her role as a worker. She has lots of hats that she metaphorically wears. Disciplining wife or keyholder is just as real as the others. I wear lots of hats too. I’m her husband, a professional, a photographer, a man, and a caged male/disciplined husband. The only hat that I can’t remove is the caged male hat.

I think that my lioness worries a bit too much about what to do with me. We do have a house full of toys she can use. That doesn’t mean she can’t have a problem coming up with an activity she wants to do with me. When I was topping, I often fell into a rut of repeating the same things. It takes less energy to repeat something familiar. For the record, I am not adverse to repeating things.

There is one thing I have learned that made my top hat (see what I did there?) easier to put on: I played not only with different activities, but with intensity. If we have ten paddles, switch up, try the tawse, use the other hand, spank the head of my cock instead of my butt. We have endless butt plugs and dildos. Each is a different challenge for me. You get the idea.

Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to do BDSM play and so many ways to tease and edge me. I do like some variety. When I know that I have no choice and that 2.0 will “train” me to take what she chooses to inflict, I get turned on. While she is actually doing it, I even get aroused with a little help. The key to making my heart go pitty pat is the loss of control.

Taking control from me isn’t easy. I can be scary when pushed hard.  But when my growls do no good,  I get the most excitement. Forcing me to be docile has enormous effect on me. I’m very independent and stubborn by nature. I try my best to help Mrs. Lion top me. I work to avoid resisting. But let’s face it, this lion is not submissive. That makes me a lot more work to handle than one that is. I’m grateful she thinks I am worth the bother.

By:
In: 2.0

Sometimes Lion writes a post that seems to say I have everything all figured out. He’ll say I’m planning this or have decided that. I guess it’s good that I give the outward appearance that I know what I’m doing most of the time, but I usually have no plan or earthly idea what the heck I’m doing. Remember a long time ago when there was a commercial with a soap opera doctor who said, “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”? He was selling Rolaids or something and you should listen to him because he plays a doctor. Sometimes I feel like saying, “I’m not a top, but I play one at home.”

What I really do is put on my Mrs. Lion hat. Lately that hat has morphed into a 2.0 hat. Same concept. When I am my alter ego, I seem more confident. I seem to know what I’m doing. I can be mean to Lion. I can punish him even when I know he’s done. I can peg him longer than I know he wants me to. I can do all the things he wants me to do even though he doesn’t want me to do them right that second. I can be stronger than I really am because of the hat.

Sometimes the hat goes missing. The other day I was out of ideas for things to do to Lion. An entire house of toys, and I had no ideas. How can that be? I think, by the time I got home and it was time to play, I’d found the hat. Sometimes, like last night, I just don’t put the hat on. I guess you could have seen it as a 2.0 maneuver of exerting power by not playing with Lion. He doesn’t need to be played with every night, after all. I can leave him whimpering in the corner. But I know he needs attention.

So what I need to do is keep better track of this hat and make sure it doesn’t get lost too often. Lion needs consistency. 2.0 is up for the job, as long as she shows up.

By:
In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

The essence of a good story is change. Boy meets girl. Girl hates boy. Boy wins girl. Happy ending. No one will read or watch a story that goes nowhere. There’s a reason we like stories that show change. It’s because we hope for a life filled with exciting changes. Sadly, as we age, most of us learn that change is rarely good news. We lose a job. A family member dies. A love that burned brightly is quenched by anger and jealousy. Of course, in the movies a new job is found, love is restored and everyone is happy.

Our readers tell us that what they like most about our blog is that they like to see what we are going to do next. Maybe we’ve unintentionally become a soap opera; as Mrs. Lion called it, “As the Lion Squirms.” Our lives don’t play like a continuing drama. We are very happy with each other and angst isn’t really a feature of our lives. Even when we have to deal with adversity, we are together and do our best to keep things going. In fact the most important pronoun to us is “we” because that defines our relationship.

Enforced chastity and FLR, in particular, is less about “us” and more about “her.” That just doesn’t fit the way Mrs. Lion and I like to relate. I’ve asked her to have power over me that she never said she wanted. I’ve been thinking about how our story has changed. As I mentioned, we started because enforced chastity is something I wanted to try. We tried it and fit it into our lives. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, it changed us. The transfer of sexual control to Mrs. Lion made it easier for us to relate sexually. Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex some years ago. Enforced chastity gave her a way to be sexual with me without the pressure of an unwanted orgasm for her.

As we became more comfortable with this power exchange, I started to see that broadening Mrs. Lion’s power could help develop a safe environment for her to feel comfortable letting me know what she wants. It also could let her exercise control over me outside of the bedroom and improve the way I relate to her.

That’s what started us on FLR a year ago. Like enforced chastity, it started as a largely-artificial power exchange. Mrs. Lion made rules for me to follow. They are things like not spilling food and waiting for her to start eating before I do. Not earth shaking, but reasonable. A little later she added a rule that I not interrupt her. This is the first rule that covered something I do that bothers her. Enforcement was spotty at best. It was very rare that she enforced the no-interrupting rule. Since that was the rule most important to her, I imagine it signaled that she hadn’t internalized her power.

On January 20, 2016 Mrs. Lion announced Lioness 2.0. In her post that day, she told the world that she had turned a corner. 2.0, as she calls herself, vowed to be less interested in what I want and more interested in what she wants. She would punish until she was satisfied she made her point. She would give me orgasms when she decided she wanted to. My suggestions, while listened to, would not govern her behavior.

Since then, she has begun to fulfill her promise. When we play, she continues until she wants to stop. When she pegs me, even though I am obviously uncomfortable, she continues. The same is true of spanking and CBT. We have a penny bank where she makes deposits when I break a rule. Each penny is a number of swats on punishment day (every Monday and Thursday). She even punished me once for interrupting. I’ve interrupted a lot more than that, but it’s progress. 2.0 is more a direction than a finished product. According to her, she will continue getting stricter and more directed in my “education.”

Interestingly, our relationship hasn’t changed in most ways. The “we” is still there. The difference now is that we agree that she has the final vote in all things. I love the changes 2.0 is making. She can see that I am happy by how horny I have been. That’s the most visible indicator, but inside I am happy and comfortable too.