By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion strayed into dangerous waters yesterday. He just can’t seem to stop himself. We were emailing back and forth like we always do when we got to this interchange:

[Lion] You should put something in today’s post about what you just wrote.

[2.0] I’m sure I read that wrong because when I read it the first time it looked like it said I “should” do something, but that can’t be right. Can it?

[Lion:] Ooops. No, I meant you might want to consider.

Then we went on with our work and occasional emails. I was in the middle of deciding whether I should give him swats for it when this happened:

[Lion] I did say “should” earlier. Is that on my list for tonight?

[2.0] Yup. I was trying to decide if I should let it go, but I “should” not.

[Lion] 2.0 would never let it go.

[2.0] Are you trying for more swats?

[Lion] Not me 🙂

Uh huh. It sure sounded like it to me. Part of me wonders if he’s trying to push the boundaries to see what he can get away with, but I actually think he can’t help himself. He’s a suggestophile. He loves making suggestions. And telling me what I should do. 1.0 would just take his suggestions and consider them. 2.0 may take the suggestion but she’s going to let him know that “should” will not be tolerated.

Lion did remark that last night’s swats weren’t very hard. True. They were not the worst swats, but why did he yell before I hit him? I gave him four somewhat hard swats, took a break, and before the fifth swat hit he yelled into the pillow in anticipation. It was funny because it was like watching a movie when the picture doesn’t match the soundtrack. Scream. Swat. Weird. He said he didn’t do that. Don’t argue with 2.0. He did it.

Last night I also decided that Lion’s future scheduled dates, rather than being the actual date he will have an orgasm, will be the earliest date he will have an orgasm. Maybe he’ll wait another day. Maybe two. Who knows? It’s up to 2.0’s whim. His upcoming date is safe though. It’s Valentine’s day. Of course he’ll get one then.

Lion’s weekend will be full of challenges if things go according to plan. There’s the new jar of menthol rub we need to test out. There’s a new bottle of green sparkly nail polish that hasn’t been opened yet. We had a comment about the shock collar the other day. Where has it gone? Why don’t we use it? I think it will come in handy this weekend. 2.0 has a specific time in mind that the shock collar could be very useful. And don’t forget about diapers. Oh yes. Lion will have an interesting weekend.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

I admit it. I’m confused. Here I am, the big, bad, former dominant (dormant dominant?) finding myself massively turned on by obviously subby things. It isn’t that the stuff 2.0 is doing to me is new. We’ve played at some point with most of them. It’s that the feeling is different. Maybe we need some background to make this a bit less murky.

In an email yesterday: “By the way, 2.0 doesn’t care if you don’t like the pain while she’s doing it.”

I’ve always been turned on by bondage (mine and others) and by physical control (ditto). My first BDSM experiences were as a bottom. That didn’t go very well. It was upsetting me on some very deep levels. I then spent the next couple of decades as a dominant. That did go well. I was successful and had a lot of fun. Then things changed.

I met Mrs. Lion at the same time I was feeling a strong urge to bottom. To be more specific, I wanted sensation play: spanking, CBT, etc. We played for a while and then stopped. Then a bit over two years ago, we resumed. These adventures are fully documented in this blog.  What’s new now is Lioness 2.0.

Over the last two-plus years of enforced chastity, the amount of sensation play as well as the more serious FLR and domestic discipline has gradually increased. A couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Lion announced Lioness 2.0. This update dramatically increased her dominance and the level of sensation play she does.

Gone are the days she only did things to me as long as I appeared to be enjoying them them. Spankings are classically severe and continue until she feels she has made her point. My cries and complaints fall on deaf ears. Yes, I know, it’s what I wanted all along. The same is true of BDSM play. That menthol rub is applied to my balls without regard for my reaction. Actually, it is my reaction that spurs her on. She saw the pain on my face, so she added more. Later, she enjoyed the bright red stripe along the seam of my scrotum that her experiment caused.

Most recently, I have been required to wear a dog collar complete with tag at all times except in public. After a couple of nights trying to sleep in it it, I am finally able to leave it on through the night. In the past when we used the collar, I did wear it for a while. She would let me take it off when I was a bit uncomfortable. 2.0 will have none of that. It remains on. Period.

The only rule that leaves me any latitude is the nudity-at-home rule. I am allowed to wear a t-shirt if I feel cold. Otherwise, choice has been taken away. I was unsure how I would react to a regime which disregards my preferences. I think Mrs. Lion was too. The fact is that since 2.0 arrived, my horniness has increased dramatically. Hoo boy!

I still feel nervous about where things are going. 2.0 isn’t plunging in full speed. I’m the one who does that. But she is steadily shortening my leash. She’s decided to take me up on suggestions I’ve made that she previously considered foolish because they would hurt or restrict me more than she thought I would like. She likes to say, “You want this.” Well, yes. But this much? This hard? This inconvenient?

Her answer is a resounding yes. She’s right. It is what I want. 2.0 is as puzzled as ever at why I would want this stuff. But the new lioness apparently decided she doesn’t need to know why. She’ll just be a good partner and give me what I want as well as what she decides I want or need; of course without consulting me. Apparently I truly do want all this. I haven’t felt this horny in ages.

By:
In: Femdom, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion mentioned yesterday was hump day. I told him he’d get a chance to hump last night. When I unlocked him I grabbed my bag of tricks with the clothespins, Velcro and rope in it. He made a face. He made a worse face when I pulled out the Velcro. He said I didn’t have to do that. But I do. I told him he asked for it. He said he didn’t. But he did.

I reminded him he’s asked for everything I do to him. He created Mrs. Lion 2.0. She’s only doing what he wants. Maybe she goes a little above and beyond sometimes, but essentially it’s what he wants even when he doesn’t want it. I asked if there was really any difference between the nasty clothespins and the Velcro because I could easily take the Velcro off and put on a bunch of nasty clothespins. Yes, the Velcro was my idea, but other things are just as painful. He agreed that there was no real difference.

I didn’t leave the Velcro on long but I did make it as uncomfortable as possible. I kept stretching Mr. Weenie so the tiny hooks would dig in a lot. I didn’t stop when Lion winced. If anything, I did it more. 2.0 is unswayed by his pain. [Lion — She sees pain and she definitely increases it.]  Of course, she still makes sure he isn’t in any real pain, but pain within reason is fine with her. And the silly Lion loves every minute of it. Well, maybe not every minute. He likes the thought of it and enjoys the afterglow. During, however, he wishes 2.0 was in another state. But 2.0 isn’t going anywhere. Unless she morphs into 3.0 in the future.

The Velcro left a red ring around Mr. Weenie and it was sensitive when I edged him. Eventually Lion didn’t care about the soreness. He was humping away with my hand. I made him even hornier and reminded him he still has eleven days to wait (now ten) before he gets lucky again. And when I was done I told him to put his ring on almost immediately. For whatever reason, he likes to be caged rather than being wild. It’s another one of those concepts I don’t understand. I’d think he’d enjoy being wild for a little bit after play. Oh well. Don’t think; just be 2.0.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal

I’ve been getting a bunch of comments accusing me of stupidity for letting Lioness 2.0 know about things I am thinking about that could cause me discomfort. While I may not be the brightest Lion in the jungle, I am fully aware of the risks I take by putting potentially painful (to me) thoughts into her head. I make these suggestions because I think they will enhance our adventures in enforced chastity and FLR. Believe it or not, I have good reason to offer up these ideas.

One of the central tenets of any power exchange is that it is consensual. Mrs. Lion has  my full, informed consent to do anything she wishes to me or make me do anything she wants. She has this blanket consent because I absolutely trust her. That’s both good news and bad news. The good news is that she is never going to do anything that will really harm me physically or emotionally. The bad news is that she is so concerned that I am having a good time and I am happy that she won’t do anything or make me do anything that she believes I don’t want. Since one of my key kinks is to be made to experience things I don’t want, there is a conflict.

Obviously, there are things she could do that I would not only hate, but would also push me too far and cause me real upset. She has never been willing to get near causing that. She loves me and it’s her love that motivates her actions. Combine that concern with a general lack of enthusiasm for torturing me and you get Lioness 1.0. 2.0, on the other hand, has shown considerably more interest in finding ways to push me. I love that.

Even 2.0 worries a bit more than I wish about my comfort zone. In some areas 2.0 has shown a delightful lack of concern for whether I like something or not. She has shown signs of that in recent spankings. She hits harder and a bit longer than before. She appears to be less concerned that I don’t like what she is doing.  At the time I hate it and want it to stop, but I am very happy she is starting to push me.

Last weekend’s anal/pegging was a great start. I don’t like how it feels, but I do like that I can’t stop it and that she is going to keep working on it until I can be made to sit on the fucking machine for longer and longer times. Of course, right now I can’t even take the entire dildo in when she is carefully working it with her hands. But if she persists, I will learn; like it or not.

These two examples illustrate the point I want to make: What I want, maybe really need, is to be taken out of my comfort zone and trained to accept things I will hate at first. Why? It’s my kink, I guess.

This feels a bit bipolar to me. How can I do anything I can to stop a spanking, yet a day later beg her to push me further and be stricter? How can I truly hate menthol rub on my balls, yet ask her here in the blog to keep doing it? I want her to train me to do things, even humiliating things, on command yet hate it when it is happening.

I’ve given this a lot of thought. It’s not so much that I am a masochist who wants to suffer. I don’t get aroused by the pain at all. I think it has much more to do with control and how training me and controlling me is somehow interpreted by me to mean that I am loved. Whatever the reason, I am a happier person with 2.0 than I was with 1.0. I might be wrong but 2.0 seems happier too.