When Counts

Most recently we have been talking about times when I am not wearing the chastity device. Mrs. Lion asked if I wanted to remain wild after this past weekend. I said I didn’t. Later she wrote about the fact that if she says I should be uncaged, then I will. No dispute from me. Her word is law. Yesterday, I wrote about my concerns (here) when left wild.  Mark wrote a comment that put this into sharper focus for me:

“… In particular, it would be really nice if, after she does release me for sex, she’d lock me back up again either right away, or at least the next morning. Somehow that would feel much more to me like my sexuality is hers to use as she – not I – pleases.”

I realized that when Mrs. Lion locks me up immediately after play or an orgasm, I feel more controlled than when she leaves me wild for some time afterward. She rarely waits more than an hour before the cage comes back on. For some reason, the closer to when she finishes her use of me that she locks me up again, the stronger my feeling of her control.

That immediacy has a very strong effect on me. It isn’t logical, but like Mark, the impact on me is strong when locked right away. I don’t lose the sense of Mrs. Lion’s control when she leaves me wild for days. It’s still there. I have to admit that I prefer to be caged. I like the feeling of physical restraint. Mrs. Lion knows very well what happens when she restrains me. The result is visible.

Thinking back, even at my most dominant, I got visibly aroused when just thinking about being restrained.  There is also a powerful erotic element to knowing that you are aware of every sexual activity I have. There’s an element of humiliation tied into that. I like it. That excitement comes more from reading Mrs. Lion’s revelations about my most intimate moments. When I share them, it’s not the same because I am controlling what you learn. Make sense?

None of this is uncommon. Study after study has shown that a great majority of people like the idea of the risk of public sexual exposure. They also like being tied up (about 85% as I recall). Spanking is an overwhelming favorite when it comes to kinky fantasies. Sexual surrender is very popular; at least in fantasies. I’m just lucky enough to actually live it.

Before we started enforced chastity, I worried about becoming an endless pit of submissive neediness. I’ve seen a lot of people fall into that. But it hasn’t happened. I may come up with more new stuff that Mrs. Lion can handle at any given time, but I am not emotionally dependent on submitting. It only takes one or two punishment spankings, for example, to remind me that I really don’t want more of them. On the other hand, Mrs. Lion’s fairly intense play spanking the other night found me hard the entire time.

The psychological and sexual dynamics of power exchange are much more complex than they appear on the surface. Everyone reacts differently. It doesn’t matter if you are the top or the bottom. The exchange will affect you in ways you may never imagined. I think ours has been very good for me. Yes, I want more, but not too much more at a time. I think I am becoming kinder and gentler as a result of my surrender. I wonder if Mrs. Lion agrees.