Yes, of course I gave Lion a raincheck for last night’s scheduled orgasm. I’m a softy. And so was he which is why an orgasm wouldn’t have worked! I’m just being a smartass. I didn’t even try to get him hard. When I asked him early in the evening what his horniness level was he told me it was pretty low. There’s no sense in forcing the issue so I gave him the raincheck.

The only reason I decided to try orgasms two nights in a row is because Lion said he tends to be just as horny the day after an orgasm. Why not let him come when he’s horny? That’s why he gets so many bonus orgasms. As I play with him I can see how horny he is. And he isn’t afraid to share that information with me. Sometimes several times in one evening. Maybe he thinks I don’t hear him. Funny Lion. So when I know he’s really horny, or when he does something that makes me want to let him come, I let him come. Ultimately it’s my choice.

Lion is free to use that raincheck whenever he wants. Is that letting him decide when he can orgasm? To some extent. I see no reason for him to lose his orgasm just because he wasn’t ready for it on a particular night. I did tease him that he may not get another chance this year, but he knew I was teasing. That would deprive me of giving him an orgasm. It’s just as much fun for me to give him one as it is for him to receive it. Well, maybe not just as much fun. But close. I think I will always allow him a raincheck. Otherwise he may try to have an orgasm on a night that he’s sick just so he doesn’t miss one. I don’t want him to be under pressure to perform. Sex should be fun, even if I am whomping his balls and causing him pain.

First the news. New Year’s Eve was spent quietly at home. Two very notable things happened: Mrs. Lion took off the pink nail polish, and she gave me a great oral orgasm. According to her plans, I was supposed to have another on New Year’s Day, but I just wasn’t feeling horny. I’m not sure why. Mrs. Lion graciously gave me a rain check; not a coupon. So, when I feel horny again regardless of my schedule, I can cash in the rain check. I think this is one of those times when I am just not too interested in sex. Never fear, my libido will be back very soon.

On the surface, enforced chastity appears to be a sex game where the male is forced to wait longer and longer for each explosive orgasm. It generally involves hardware that assures he can’t cheat. I suspect that many people try enforced chastity because it is such a sexually exciting game to play. Most of those people give it up quickly because that is not what all this is about.

Enforced chastity is a relatively exotic BDSM practice; in other words, a power exchange. Virtually all BDSM is sexual at the root. Enforced chastity focuses on the sex directly. Make no mistake, while withholding sex is the main activity, it isn’t the real reason we do this.

Most men would rate sexual release (orgasm) as one of the best experiences they can have. Surrendering the ability to orgasm is giving enormous power to the keyholder/top. Caged males are sexually submissive in the most literal sense. We have surrendered our ability to get release, not just for a weekend, but in my case, forever. Like all BDSM, enforced chastity is consensual. Mrs. Lion can’t and won’t force me to submit if I truly don’t want to.

But there is a catch. I have committed to being caged. Demanding release is a serious and potentially relationship-threatening move. Also, submission is always voluntary. Captives have no choices, submissives surrender their freedom willingly. Ironically, there are way more men who want to surrender and submit than there are people willing to accept that surrender. This is true in all sorts of power exchange. There are always many more bottoms than tops. I’ve written about that before.

So, enforced chastity is not about hardware, not about rules and contracts, not about how many orgasms a caged male gives or receives; not at all. It is about a power exchange that manifests through male sexual control. Generally, there are other surrenders as well. Once you realize that enforced chastity is voluntary, you also realize that chastity hardware doesn’t have to be absolutely secure. It just has to be effective.

I’m the security in my chastity. I won’t take the device off. Even if I don’t wear one, I won’t get off on my own or with anyone other than Mrs. Lion. My cage is useful jewelry. It helps at weak moments, but it isn’t what prevents me from masturbating. My commitment to my keyholder and love controls that. I happily submit to my dear Mrs. Lion.

The first thing I did for my lucky Lion last night was to remove his pink nail polish. Why? It was so last year’s color! Actually I want to try out the sparkly purple and I can’t do that unless I remove the pink. And Lion will get some time without girly toes.

He was hornier last night too. I thought he might be. Unfortunately, my plan to ride him to orgasm didn’t happen. Wrong time of the month for me. He was still extremely happy to have his last orgasm of 2014. I can’t tell you how many he had in 2014. We didn’t start the Lion tracker at the beginning of our chastity life. And I haven’t been as consistent as I should be with it anyway. Perhaps we’ll have a running total for this year. Starting with tonight’s.

I know it seems ridiculous to most of you that locking Lion up has actually given him more opportunities for orgasms, but given our previous sex life his luck had to improve. Although there are some caged males out there whose luck has not improved by being caged. Now that I have made some baby steps toward taking the power that Lion has wanted me to have for a long time, it’s up to me when and how he comes. So far I’ve decided that I don’t want him to wait long. He agrees with that 100%. Of course, if I change my mind and decide that he should wait longer, he has no choice but to agree with that 100%. I’ve always thought it would be better to be a benevolent dictator. Give the people what they want! Lion likes that.

Lion, aside from posting a nice picture of his sexy buns, has made some resolutions for the new year. I resolved a few years ago never to make another New Year’s resolution. So far it’s the only one I’ve ever kept. I have, however, adopted a chastity mantra: be more consistent. Along with that I have an opposite mantra: don’t be boring. Some people might think of consistency as something as simple as having the same thing for breakfast day in and day out. To me that’s boring. If I always unlock Lion and just edge him and lock him back up, that’s consistent but it’s also boring. To me, consistency is playing with him at least every other day, punishing him every time I see him doing something wrong, setting orgasms dates and following through on them, entering data into the Lion tracker, etc. Not being boring is adding spanking or ball swats or Velcro or butt plug to the edging. Maybe not every time, but enough that he doesn’t just roll his eyes and yawn when he sees me coming with the key.

So here we are in the new year and I’m looking forward to more of the same. 2014 may have had its ups and downs but it was also the year we started our chastity experiment that turned into a lifestyle. Neither of us thought it would last this long and neither of us wants it to end. Full speed ahead, Lion!

naked rear view of lion with fingers crossed behind his back
Lion seems to be hedging his bets as you can clearly see.

I generally don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Not that I’m perfect, as you well know, but because I just feel badly when I invariably break them. However, this year has been different and next year will be too. Over the last eleven months I have made almost every mistake in the enforced chastity book, if there ever is one. So, dear reader, here are my 2015 enforced chastity resolutions:

  • Whine and growl less. Accept Mrs. Lion’s decisions gracefully and without complaint. Don’t complain about punishments or changes she makes in me.
  • Lose 50 lbs. Shed that extra weight once and for all.
  • Post daily to MCJ. Been doing that but there have been times when I have been tempted to skip days when too lazy or without much to say.
  • Be more obedient. Obey both the word and spirit of Mrs. Lion’s orders without question or complaint. Do not ask endless questions to clarify her orders. Accept her training and work very hard to follow it at all times.
  • Be more patient with everyone. Be kind and patient to servers and customer service agents. Calmly and politely answer their questions without growling or being sarcastic.

I know that isn’t a long list but it has a better chance of being done if I keep it short. Right?

The last year has been very different and rewarding. Mrs. Lion has made great strides and as a result our sex life has been getting better and better. She has taken more control. Unfortunately, I’m not fundamentally submissive, so her task is much more difficult than it could have been with an out-of-the-box submissive male.

On this first day of 2015, only two weeks shy of a full year of enforced chastity, I want to express my gratitude to Mrs. Lion for making this adventure possible. I also want to thank Mistress MM and William of Mature Metal who have patiently helped me perfect my chastity device. I also want to thank you for joining us on this ride.

Have a very happy New Year!