First the news. New Year’s Eve was spent quietly at home. Two very notable things happened: Mrs. Lion took off the pink nail polish, and she gave me a great oral orgasm. According to her plans, I was supposed to have another on New Year’s Day, but I just wasn’t feeling horny. I’m not sure why. Mrs. Lion graciously gave me a rain check; not a coupon. So, when I feel horny again regardless of my schedule, I can cash in the rain check. I think this is one of those times when I am just not too interested in sex. Never fear, my libido will be back very soon.

On the surface, enforced chastity appears to be a sex game where the male is forced to wait longer and longer for each explosive orgasm. It generally involves hardware that assures he can’t cheat. I suspect that many people try enforced chastity because it is such a sexually exciting game to play. Most of those people give it up quickly because that is not what all this is about.

Enforced chastity is a relatively exotic BDSM practice; in other words, a power exchange. Virtually all BDSM is sexual at the root. Enforced chastity focuses on the sex directly. Make no mistake, while withholding sex is the main activity, it isn’t the real reason we do this.

Most men would rate sexual release (orgasm) as one of the best experiences they can have. Surrendering the ability to orgasm is giving enormous power to the keyholder/top. Caged males are sexually submissive in the most literal sense. We have surrendered our ability to get release, not just for a weekend, but in my case, forever. Like all BDSM, enforced chastity is consensual. Mrs. Lion can’t and won’t force me to submit if I truly don’t want to.

But there is a catch. I have committed to being caged. Demanding release is a serious and potentially relationship-threatening move. Also, submission is always voluntary. Captives have no choices, submissives surrender their freedom willingly. Ironically, there are way more men who want to surrender and submit than there are people willing to accept that surrender. This is true in all sorts of power exchange. There are always many more bottoms than tops. I’ve written about that before.

So, enforced chastity is not about hardware, not about rules and contracts, not about how many orgasms a caged male gives or receives; not at all. It is about a power exchange that manifests through male sexual control. Generally, there are other surrenders as well. Once you realize that enforced chastity is voluntary, you also realize that chastity hardware doesn’t have to be absolutely secure. It just has to be effective.

I’m the security in my chastity. I won’t take the device off. Even if I don’t wear one, I won’t get off on my own or with anyone other than Mrs. Lion. My cage is useful jewelry. It helps at weak moments, but it isn’t what prevents me from masturbating. My commitment to my keyholder and love controls that. I happily submit to my dear Mrs. Lion.