lion carrying lioness tail
I’ll do anything Mrs. Lion wants if it pleases her. Now that she is starting to realize that, my assignments may get more interesting.

(Saturday, May 24 2014) If you’ve been following our lives, you know that Mrs. Lion is about to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. Her post on Saturday afternoon informed us all that she plans to have me use a dildo to please her. That’s really new for us. She worried that I would feel she prefers a rubber cock to mine. She actually might. It never gets soft and it’s bigger than mine. Am I about to be replaced by a piece of silicone? I don’t think so. I am counting on the fact that she really loves to ride me. I guess if I have a strap-on harness on, she can do that with a dildo too. Interesting. We have a fairly large collection of dildos which at one time or another ended up my ass. I wonder if she has selected one of them for her entertainment. I wonder if while she is in the wonderful world of rubber she will reciprocate and use one in me.

In the years we have been together I haven’t known Mrs. Lion to use any toys. I think we are seeing the start of some big changes. I know she is concerned about what I want or expect, but the fact is that I am happy with orgasms whenever she wants me to have them. I am also happy to please her with toys, my tongue, fingers, cock, or anything else she wants. I don’t feel deprived. What I have wanted from the start was for her to take sexual control of our relationship.

This began when I started wearing the shock collar. She gives me a jolt now and then for fun. Today for the first time she gave me one in the supermarket for dropping an ear of corn. I think that was her first behavioral correction. I hope there will be many more as her confidence grows. I think she is internalizing our chastity activities. They started as an effort on her part to please me. She certainly has! Now, I think she is planning to go to the next level and use my confinement and submission to provide pleasure for herself.

In prior posts she worries about being selfish. We have talked about this. It really isn’t a matter of selfish or unselfish; not with what we are doing now. What she may consider selfish is actually exactly what I want and need. I want her to take the pleasure she wants from me. That, in her terms, is unselfish. It pleases me no end. I absolutely want her to give me wonderful orgasms when she feels I should have them. I will never feel badly about coming. Well almost never. It was getting a bit difficult for me being masturbated daily. On one level I enjoyed it, but because it was something she just started and kept going till I ejaculated, I didn’t get the chance to get fully aroused. As I age, I need more foreplay. I’m happy she noticed how excited I got when I ate her. I love doing that!

We had another interesting discussion today. She wondered out loud about whether I need to be out of my cage when I please her orally or with a toy. She worried that it would hurt me to get so aroused inside my little chastity cage. Like most males in chastity devices, getting aroused isn’t painful at all. I just fill my cage to overflowing. It feels nice. I do get temporary dents in the head of my penis from the bars, but they don’t hurt and go away next chance it gets to stretch. Of course if she wants to have me turn over and ride me, then being uncaged will facilitate that nicely. In her post, Mrs. Lion mentioned that one risk of letting my penis please her was that I might have an unauthorized orgasm. That’s always a risk, but with training that risk is reduced. Also, since we have all that nice silicone and my tongue, there is no chance she won’t get lots of chances to come over and over. I love that!

One area that seems to be difficult for Mrs. Lion and for other new keyholders is the idea of correction and male training. One reason I love the shock collar is that it offers an easy and effective way to change my behavior. The challenge for Mrs. Lion is to figure out what she wants to change. It isn’t that I’m perfect. I’m far from it. It’s just difficult to come up with things you want to condition your man to do or not do. If, for example, you don’t like him touching himself (most of us do that a lot unconsciously), then a jolt every time he does it will quickly train that behavior out of him. It’s not easy to come up with things like that. Too bad. However, Mrs. Lion has been growing into all this very rapidly and thoughtfully. I’m delighted by that and I am happy to wait to see what her next revelation will be. Don’t quote me if I whine about it!

smiling lioness
Lion is going to put a smile on my face as well as his.

In the spirit of being less selfish, and as my libido returns, I’ve decided that Lion needs to pleasure me more. That may seem backwards. How can it be less selfish of me to ask for more pleasure for myself?

Part of being a caged male is pleasing your keyholder. Lion has been waiting a long time for me to ask for that. And I’m wired to please him. So it’s difficult for me to allow him to give me attention without reciprocating.

A few weeks ago Lion was giving me oral sex. I was surprised at how turned on he was. His cock was rock hard. I have to decide if I want him caged while he eats me. On the one hand he will be straining against the cage as he gets hard. On the other hand, if he is free and hard I can climb on top for a ride. Obviously I’ll have to try multiple times to see which I like. I’m sure Lion won’t mind.

Something that seemed too cruel to me in the past is to use dildos. Not on Lion. I’ve done that a lot. I mean for him to use them on me. The reason it seems cruel is that it’s as if I’m telling him I don’t want his cock. I’d rather have a piece of rubber. That could be a  big psychological blow to a man. I have a few reasons for using the dildos. First, as Lion ages, it is more difficult for him to maintain an erection without manual or medicinal help. A dildo never goes limp. Second, it’s possible that he won’t be able to control an orgasm before I’m done with him. A dildo never comes first. And third, I may get my fantasy of having two guys at once, even if at least one is a dildo. Ok. That part is a little selfish.

At any rate, I think Lion’s dance card is about to be full. I hope he’ll be a happy Lion. I’ll certainly still be using my edging skills on him, but it’s time for him to get a different sort of exercise now. I bet I’ll be a happy Mrs. Lion too.

bottoming book cover
The Bottoming Book and The Topping Book are two excellent resources for caged males and keyholders alike.

It’s clear that we aren’t the only couple who mix female domination with forced male chastity. In fact, it is highly unusual to find a couple that simply has the male locked up for a period of time between releases. The spectrum appears to range from simple lockup to all out female led relationships (FLR). Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes. Even lone players (men who lock themselves up with no partners) add some self-topping to the chastity mix.

Very few of the people I have run into who practice forced male chastity (FMC) have had any real life experience in the leather community. This isn’t surprising. I know that there are members of leather organizations (The term “leather” is generally used to describe groups who center on top/bottom BDSM play and lifestyle) who do practice forced male chastity, but they are rarely seen in chastity forums or even munches. The reason for this is that most leather organizations offer classes in topping and bottoming skills as well as parties where people play publicly. I’ve been a member of one of these organizations for over 25 years. Mrs. Lion attended a few things with me but felt uncomfortable in such an alien environment.

The point is that when you decide to begin forced male chastity and you want your keyholder to top you as well as control when you get out for exercise, you do it in isolation. If you read the various blogs and forums, you generally find people who, like you, are completely self-taught. This is a shame because there is a large body of experience around pretty much any topping activity you may want to try. There are classes on how to do things, what is safe and unsafe, psychological aspects of topping and bottoming, and so much more. No need to reinvent how you top and bottom.

The Internet has opened up the world of forced male chastity as well as topping and bottoming to many more people. Most will never consider attending a class on “ass play” or “flogging”. However, there are reliable resources that can help you safely explore the activities you dream about. I don’t recommend any websites for this. The chances of the blind-leading-the-blind are simply too high. Instead consider some books that I have found accurate and useful.

The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book are wonderful sources of information on how to top and bottom. The two authors are highly experienced women (one was a play partner of mine) who are great writers and deal with the subjects with compassion and knowledge. Both books should be required reading for caged males and their keyholders. Another excellent resource is SM 101. Jay Weisman, the author, is an EMT trainer and an experienced player. His illustrated how-to’s and safety tips make it easy for the keyholder to learn many topping techniques.

These three books can form an excellent library on the not-so-gentle arts of topping and bottoming. One of my goals when I started this blog is to provide accurate and helpful information on topping and bottoming. I am new as a caged male, but have decades of experience as a top and now as a bottom. I’ve seen so much misinformation, some of it dangerous, on the Web that I felt a strong need to provide a safe, accurate resource for people who want to read about and learn more about forced male chastity and the play that goes with it. I hope that you will add your input so that we can form an online community that is centered on the reality of forced chastity and not uninformed fantasy.

Lion amazes me with how much he loves and trusts me.

Lion amazes me with how much he loves me and trusts me. I’m not sure why it amazes me so much. But every time he does something that reminds me I fall in love with him even more. So it’s difficult for me to admit that I’m selfish.

It’s not that I don’t love and trust Lion more than anything, but while he’s been going out of his way to make sure I’m happy and cared for, I fear I’ve been looking out for myself and it’s been hampering the way I do things. For example, the other night  my intent was to tease and deny, tease and deny, and maybe give him release. His high praise about my progress with being able to take him just shy of the edge must have gotten to my head because on the second tease and deny I went too far. Ruined orgasm. I was so mad at myself. While he was far from happy with it, he didn’t think I should be upset with myself. Sure, it was frustrating for him, but why was I mad at myself?

Last night I decided to spank him. I haven’t done it in a while and he loves it. I love making his cheeks rosy. Then I decided to tease him some more. I didn’t bring him to the edge. With my hand I got him hard and kept varying between fast strokes and slow strokes. Obviously he was excited. I put some lube on him, took a much harder grip and slowly masturbated him until he had his orgasm. He told me afterwards that I didn’t need to make him come. I know that. But that’s where the selfishness comes in.

I know the purpose of the cage is to keep him from pleasuring himself, but sometimes I think he should be the one with the key. He needs to keep me away from his cock. I’m the problem. Once I get my hands on it I want to give it an orgasm. Poor Lion wants to be teased and denied and made to wait for days. Or weeks. And here I am happily making him come. Bad, Mrs. Lion!

I never make New Year’s resolutions anymore and this isn’t exactly the new year anyway, but my unofficial start to summer’s resolution is to give Lion what he wants. I resolve to tease and deny, ruin orgasms, and otherwise drive him crazy until he begs to come and then deny him anyway. That’s my plan. I think it will frustrate both of us a lot but Lion deserves to get what he wants.