Reinventing The Wheel

bottoming book cover
The Bottoming Book and The Topping Book are two excellent resources for caged males and keyholders alike.

It’s clear that we aren’t the only couple who mix female domination with forced male chastity. In fact, it is highly unusual to find a couple that simply has the male locked up for a period of time between releases. The spectrum appears to range from simple lockup to all out female led relationships (FLR). Most of us fall somewhere between these two extremes. Even lone players (men who lock themselves up with no partners) add some self-topping to the chastity mix.

Very few of the people I have run into who practice forced male chastity (FMC) have had any real life experience in the leather community. This isn’t surprising. I know that there are members of leather organizations (The term “leather” is generally used to describe groups who center on top/bottom BDSM play and lifestyle) who do practice forced male chastity, but they are rarely seen in chastity forums or even munches. The reason for this is that most leather organizations offer classes in topping and bottoming skills as well as parties where people play publicly. I’ve been a member of one of these organizations for over 25 years. Mrs. Lion attended a few things with me but felt uncomfortable in such an alien environment.

The point is that when you decide to begin forced male chastity and you want your keyholder to top you as well as control when you get out for exercise, you do it in isolation. If you read the various blogs and forums, you generally find people who, like you, are completely self-taught. This is a shame because there is a large body of experience around pretty much any topping activity you may want to try. There are classes on how to do things, what is safe and unsafe, psychological aspects of topping and bottoming, and so much more. No need to reinvent how you top and bottom.

The Internet has opened up the world of forced male chastity as well as topping and bottoming to many more people. Most will never consider attending a class on “ass play” or “flogging”. However, there are reliable resources that can help you safely explore the activities you dream about. I don’t recommend any websites for this. The chances of the blind-leading-the-blind are simply too high. Instead consider some books that I have found accurate and useful.

The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book are wonderful sources of information on how to top and bottom. The two authors are highly experienced women (one was a play partner of mine) who are great writers and deal with the subjects with compassion and knowledge. Both books should be required reading for caged males and their keyholders. Another excellent resource is SM 101. Jay Weisman, the author, is an EMT trainer and an experienced player. His illustrated how-to’s and safety tips make it easy for the keyholder to learn many topping techniques.

These three books can form an excellent library on the not-so-gentle arts of topping and bottoming. One of my goals when I started this blog is to provide accurate and helpful information on topping and bottoming. I am new as a caged male, but have decades of experience as a top and now as a bottom. I’ve seen so much misinformation, some of it dangerous, on the Web that I felt a strong need to provide a safe, accurate resource for people who want to read about and learn more about forced male chastity and the play that goes with it. I hope that you will add your input so that we can form an online community that is centered on the reality of forced chastity and not uninformed fantasy.