Lion amazes me with how much he loves me and trusts me. I’m not sure why it amazes me so much. But every time he does something that reminds me I fall in love with him even more. So it’s difficult for me to admit that I’m selfish.
It’s not that I don’t love and trust Lion more than anything, but while he’s been going out of his way to make sure I’m happy and cared for, I fear I’ve been looking out for myself and it’s been hampering the way I do things. For example, the other night my intent was to tease and deny, tease and deny, and maybe give him release. His high praise about my progress with being able to take him just shy of the edge must have gotten to my head because on the second tease and deny I went too far. Ruined orgasm. I was so mad at myself. While he was far from happy with it, he didn’t think I should be upset with myself. Sure, it was frustrating for him, but why was I mad at myself?
Last night I decided to spank him. I haven’t done it in a while and he loves it. I love making his cheeks rosy. Then I decided to tease him some more. I didn’t bring him to the edge. With my hand I got him hard and kept varying between fast strokes and slow strokes. Obviously he was excited. I put some lube on him, took a much harder grip and slowly masturbated him until he had his orgasm. He told me afterwards that I didn’t need to make him come. I know that. But that’s where the selfishness comes in.
I know the purpose of the cage is to keep him from pleasuring himself, but sometimes I think he should be the one with the key. He needs to keep me away from his cock. I’m the problem. Once I get my hands on it I want to give it an orgasm. Poor Lion wants to be teased and denied and made to wait for days. Or weeks. And here I am happily making him come. Bad, Mrs. Lion!
I never make New Year’s resolutions anymore and this isn’t exactly the new year anyway, but my unofficial start to summer’s resolution is to give Lion what he wants. I resolve to tease and deny, ruin orgasms, and otherwise drive him crazy until he begs to come and then deny him anyway. That’s my plan. I think it will frustrate both of us a lot but Lion deserves to get what he wants.