Male Chastity Journal

Last night I presented Mrs. Lion with one of her “orgasm” coupons. I did it partly because she had mentioned that she gave them to me to use them and mostly because I was really horny. The coupon said I could have an orgasm any way I want — handjob, orally, or lion riding — I told her she could decide. The evening kept wearing on and she remained rooted behind her iPad. She caught me looking at her questioningly and she raised her eyebrows and said, “Today isn’t over until midnight,” and went back to her game.

I didn’t have to wait much longer. She edged me a few times and slapped my balls quite roughly. She said, “You didn’t expect to get off without something, did you?”

No I didn’t. When she was done edging me, she applied some silicone lube and rode me to orgasm. It was great! I’m learning to love coupons!

We also discussed what would happen to my wait. I stupidly (because I hadn’t come yet) suggested that instead of starting the wait over again, she could just start the next wait. Since I have no idea how long that will be, using a coupon is more of a dangerous gamble. She came up with a few cases where that wouldn’t work, but also said she liked the idea. So she left it saying she would decide whether to start my wait again (which is what she did last night) or begin the next one.

So, I am back to waiting another nine days. But I had a wonderful time being ridden to orgasm. I also only have to wait until tomorrow to give Mrs. Lion her next orgasm. Yummy!

Think of enforced male chastity as a garden. There are an infinite number of possibilities. Some, like formal, English gardens require full time gardeners to keep it looking right. Others have just a few flowers and maybe a bush or two. This garden just needs occasional weeding. Others are justs completely wild. No attention at all is required.

Keyholding is just the same. You, the gardener, have to decide what sort of garden you want. If you really hate gardening (enforced chastity), you will want something that requires very little attention. This could be locking him up and then from time to time unlocking him and allowing him to masturbate while you watch. That’s probably the least you can do and have any chance of him staying with it.

The next step up is to unlock him more frequently, once or twice a week perhaps, and have him masturbate to the edge of orgasm one or more times. Much less frequently you can allow him to actually ejaculate. Many women prefer this hands-off approach. They don’t even touch the device or his penis. They have him lock and unlock himself. They simply hold the key. This approach works well for some.

A more formal garden requires more hands-on attention. The keyholder retains the key and control of the male’s penis. He never gets to masturbate or play with himself. She provides any stimulation he gets. She regularly unlocks him and teases him. This keeps his hormones flowing and his desperation to ejaculate at a high level. When she decides the time is right, she stimulates him to ejaculation. How she teases and stimulates is up to her. This is the sort of garden Mrs. Lion tends. I’m not allowed sexual contact with my penis and she provides any sexual pleasure I am allowed. She hasn’t explicitly prohibited me from touching when I am wild, but my assumption is that this would be frowned upon.

The most formal garden that approaches a full-time job is a full-on female led relationship. In this garden, the caged male is required to provide very frequent sexual services for his keyholder including intercourse without ejaculation. She trains her male to delay his ejaculation as much as possible. He is required to provide extremely frequent sexual services without anything in return. He gets orgasms very infrequently. This sort of garden is the usual male enforced chastity fantasy. It is very rare in real life.

No keyholder exactly matches any one of these scenarios. In fact, within a single relationship, the garden type may vary considerably over time. Over the last year, Mrs. Lion has been experimenting with what will work for each of us. I expect her to change our garden often until it is just what she wants.

As a new keyholder, it’s important for you to separate reality from fantasy. I think, based on our experience, that it works best if you simplify things as much as you can. For starters, think of yourself as managing his ejaculation and nothing more.

If he imagines that he wants to be locked up for long periods of time, chances are good that his body won’t take well to that in practice. How often did he ejaculate before being locked up? It’s important to learn from him how often he masturbated and, of course, you know how often you and he had sex. If it turns out that he ejaculated once a week or more, then he needs to learn to manage more time gradually. If he has been very sexually inactive, then start with a longer initial wait time.

There are two sides to enforced chastity. The obvious one is how long to make him wait between orgasms. The more subtle one is how often do you want him to ejaculate. If you want to increase his sexual activity, you can do it. You are in charge. A good starting plan is to unlock and tease him very frequently, even daily. See if you can get him fairly close to ejaculating each time, but don’t let him finish. Lock him up immediately after you are done.

In the beginning, he will probably resist such frequent stimulation. Do it anyway. Then, perhaps after a week or so of this, masturbate him to orgasm. Rinse and repeat. The key to all of this stuff is patience and repetition. Mrs. Lion has no strong feelings about how long I wait, so she hasn’t been training me for longer waits. However, she has planned some. She’s done that, I think, to make things more interesting for me. It will certainly do that. The point is to gradually train your caged male. If he is comfortable, or at least minimally uncomfortable about his waits, he can learn to wait as long as you want.

We males tend to be hardware centered. I know that I spent endless hours researching and thinking about chastity devices before actually ordering one. Most of the questions asked about enforced chastity center on the hardware as well. We present our keyholders with elaborate fantasies disguised as accurate information about how to manage our chastity. We seem to make things as difficult as possible for our novice keyholders.

The most common reason a woman agrees to be a keyholder is that she wants to make her partner happy. Very few women fantasize about locking up their partners’ penises. It just doesn’t come up. When confronted with a man asking to have his penis locked up, it generally is a surprise.

The obvious conclusion a new keyholder might reach is that her partner’s request to be forcibly prevented from erection and orgasm is that he wants her to lock  him up and then at some point let him out for an orgasm. Of course, we males make sure she understands exactly how we want it to work; at least many of us do.

These fantasies are generally quite complex. As a keyholder, you might find yourself wanting to refuse any part of such an elaborate dance. Or, you might agree and then decide that no action is better than all that fantasy stuff. Most likely, you will give it a try for a while. If the male spends too much of your time with chastity talk and whines for attention, you will probably give him back his key.

Like a garden, enforced chastity requires tending. How much is determined by what kind of garden you want. If you ignore your garden, chances are very good it will go to weeds and stop being a garden at all.

Last night was special. It was Mrs. Lion’s scheduled orgasm night and my teasing night. Both of us were going to have fun and one of us an orgasm. I started the festivities with Mrs. Lion. I spent some time enjoying her body and then moved on to the main event. I love the sounds she makes! I was pressing my cage with the erection I was unable to have. I love making her come. She clearly had a good time too.

After she had a chance to bask and get back to earth, Mrs. Lion unlocked me and edged me. I think she did it twice. My mind wasn’t on counting. Boy did I want to come! After I was safely back in my cage, I brought up those love coupons. Mrs. Lion is getting sick of hearing about them.

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She gave me these coupons as gifts. I can redeem them for various privileges. Some let me choose to be uncaged for 24 hours. Others allow me an orgasm. One or two permit me to reduce my wait time for a day. All very nice options. So, what’s my problem? Why not go for it?

Part of me wants to horde them. There may be a time I really want to come, for example, but I used them all up. A bigger part of me is insecure about my role. I am trying to avoid being controling. If I use a coupon, aren’t I taking control, at least temporarily, of my sexual pleasure. I realize she wants me to do this. It’s just something I have to work through.

There is a twist to the orgasm coupons. If I use one, the wait gets restarted. So, if I am on a 10 day wait, and on the fifth day I use a coupon, the 10 days start again. If all my waits were 10 days, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. But they aren’t. I have some much longer waits coming. The longer I wait, the more I want that orgasm. If I am in a 20 day wait, and 10 days in I want to come and use a coupon, then the twenty days start again. But if I went the entire 20 days, my next wait might have been only 10. Since I don’t know how long my next wait will be, it’s a gamble for me.

Another part of this is that I want to see if I can successfully wait the time set for me. Recently Mrs. Lion asked me if I wanted a bonus orgasm mid-wait. I said, “No.” I really did want the orgasm, but I also wanted to see how I felt at the end. This one was 11 days. I had only waited that long once before and that was because I was sick on orgasm day. I wanted to find out how it felt to go that long. I will probably want to do the same during the longer waits planned for me. I realize that curiosity killed the cat; and this big cat may regret his curiosity.

The coupons that allow me to run wild (cage-free) for a day, so far don’t appeal too much to me. I just haven’t wanted to be a free-range lion. I’m sure that in the future there will be times when I do want that. Well, my coupons for that don’t expire.

I’ll probably use an orgasm coupon tonight. I’ve been really horny and a nice ejaculation would feel perfect. I won’t use it if Mrs. Lion is achy or tired. I like it better when she is feeling perky and frisky herself. I’m curious to see how I feel after I use a coupon.

By the way, if you look into the right column of this blog, you will find some data that might interest you. There is a Lion Status report that gives you my next orgasm date, the time I have been waiting since my last orgasm, and the time to go until my next scheduled one. In addition, it has the amount of time I have been caged. Below that, you can see links to recent posts and comments, recent tweets to #mcjnl, blogs I like, archives and other stuff.

Stay tuned…we’ll see how my coupon redemption goes.

These coupons were a big hit when I gave them to Lion, but since then have turned into a giant pain in the ass. He loves them. He hates them. He’ll never use them. He’ll definitely use them. I should take them back. He wants to keep them. Around and around we go.

Yesterday he said I should take them back because they give him too much power. He’s said this before. We’ve gone over it and decided he should keep them. But now he says he doesn’t want them until he learns to surrender. I’m not sure what he’s been doing for the past year, but to appease him I told him I’d take them back. I wouldn’t have given them to him if I didn’t want him to use them. But this back and forth is getting old.

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Last night after my orgasm I set my calendar for January 29 for my next one. He said I was very lucky to only have to wait three days. I told him I’d trade dates with him, but he probably wouldn’t want to trade since it would be similar to the coupons. Mistake. Then we went round and round again about the coupons. He said he thought I wanted to make him wait longer and longer so he didn’t want to change that by using a coupon. I don’t care how long he waits. I set dates because he wanted a set date. I don’t care if he waits six days, six weeks, six months. Sometimes I give him an orgasm because I want to. I have fun playing with him and decide I need him to have an orgasm. Personally, I’ve always thought that if I’m playing with him he should have an orgasm. He’s the one who wants to be teased and made to wait. Ironically I could, and have, waited months between orgasms without any problem at all. We’re just wired differently.

In the end (at least last night’s end) we decided he would keep the coupons. He had forgotten that using a coupon resets the clock. He has a finite number of coupons so eventually he will have to wait the full amount of time anyway. But we all know that’s not exactly true because I will give him a bonus orgasm along the way anyway.

My takeaway from this: No more coupons! Actually my takeaway is that if I am in charge then what I say goes. No more arguing about the damn coupons. I issued them and I will take them away if I want to take them away. Otherwise I expect them to be used whenever Lion wants to use them. That’s it. End of story. Period. Until the next time he brings it up.