Sex and love don’t always go together. Most adults have had sex with partners that they didn’t love or who didn’t love them. Love is an emotional connection. Sex is physical, driven by hormones and instinct. When sex and love are combined, the force is seismic. From what I can tell, this organic blend of hormones, intimacy, and emotion is pretty rare. That’s been the case with Mrs. Lion and me.

She’s done a great job of separating sex from domestic discipline. Sex is never used as a punishment or reward. Even our male chastity avoids connecting sex with external events. Mrs. Lion never extended my wait for behavioral issues. She gives me orgasms when she feels it’s time. That’s great, but organic intimacy is sacrificed by the necessity of maintaining a healthy ejaculation schedule.

All this is great. It works for us. But it also helps us overlook an important expression of love. We love one another. Neither of us ever doubts that. We don’t express that love in physical ways. This is mostly my fault. I’ve always been very shy about initiating physical activities. I don’t know why, but something stops me. I’m fine about responding, but that first kiss that moves to be close is nearly impossible for me. I’m good verbally but useless in making the first move.

This fault has cost me many opportunities for good times. It also may be why Mrs. Lion lost her libido. Now that it’s gone, she isn’t driven to be affectionate with me. Combine that with my inability to initiate, and we have a couple who have limited physical contact. That doesn’t affect our love for one another, but I feel a sense of loss. I loved touching her and feeling her respond. I miss kissing and touching, feeling her excitement growing under my fingers and lips.

We are both changing physically. We have lost considerable weight in the last nine months. Physical contact is much easier, at least I think it would be. I’m within about ten pounds of my ideal weight. Mrs. Lion is more than halfway to her goal. It’s a good feeling.

Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex. She can have orgasms; at least she could last time I gave her one. She just doesn’t care about sex for herself. She’s very generous about giving me sex. I’m back to having regular orgasms thanks to her hard work getting me off. I’m happy with my sex life. I just wish we could recover our intimate contact. Even if we can’t manage to do it, I’m very happy to be with the love of my life.

and now for something completely different — unreadable blogs!

A growing number of blogs use themes that feature grey body type on a white background. Many are unreadable to me. My vision is very poor due to glaucoma. My ability to deal with low-contrast images, including type on a screen, is very poor. There are excellent standards for making sites readable for everyone. I realize that many bloggers struggle with the technical challenges of owning a website and often rely on the vendor (usually to manage all details. Most blogger sites are fairly readable to me. Some aren’t.

As website owners, we owe our readers a good experience. All blog styles offer a way to control body type style, size, and color. If you are asked for a color number, black is #000000 or #000. It is always a good choice. If it asks for type size, a good minimum is 16 pixels. That works very well in most browsers. I use slightly larger type here.

As a matter of policy, I won’t list blogs that I can’t easily read. I’m sure that I’m missing some good stuff thatl’s just too grey for me. If you have any issues reading this site, click the little orange symbol on the right side of the page. It will let you reformat the site to suit your needs. I want everyone to be able to enjoy our blog.

Monday night brought sweet relief. We were both feeling good, and Mrs. Lion took advantage of it by giving me an intense oral orgasm. When she finished, I felt wonderful. Lingering pain just disappeared. My stomach was at peace, my legs weren’t sore, and I could breathe freely. Weird! When I told her, Mrs. Lion said that if she knew a blowjob could do that for me, she would have done it sooner. Whatever chemicals that orgasm released in my brain did wonders for me. Wow!

I’m still searching for new blogs to read. One that I found seemed promising. It was by a submissive woman who effusively talked about her love-centric relationship with her dominant partner. It sounded very promising until she revealed that she had never met her long-term lover in person. Nope, not going to be listed here.

Online relationships can be extremely dangerous. Even with Zoom and Skype, they represent idealized emotional connections. Without the flesh and blood contact, these relationships exist as shared fantasies. It doesn’t matter that the submissive follows orders and plugs her own butt or spanks herself with a wooden spoon; the lack of real contact makes it an interactive fantasy.

The biggest danger is that this sort of sharing is addictive. It’s like obsessive video game playing. I was surprised to find this blog. Online romance was pretty common twenty years ago. A lot of marriages were destroyed by online affairs. The written word is a very powerful aphrodisiac. When you combine the power of words with the immediacy of online communication, it’s easy to understand how otherwise-rational people destroy their real-life world in favor of the cyber.

When you add D/S to the mix, things get even more intense. In real life, it’s very common for submissive partners to want more and more control. They want those brain hormones churning. It’s normal but not healthy. That’s why so many  D/S-based relationships implode a year or two after they began. Couples with a real-life, vanilla relationship can successfully add D/S and manage any power exchange creep without losing the love.

You may wonder how I know this. Well, years before I met Mrs. Lion, I managed to get into a couple of intense online relationships. I was sucked into the emotional vortex they create. I met a couple of other women online who joined me in real life after we had gotten involved in cyberspace. I learned that the longer we spent in cyber mode, the less likely our real-life romance would work.

The reason was obvious. Even though we spent endless hours talking and writing, we only knew the mental picture we had created of each other. The reality was invariably disappointing. It wasn’t that she didn’t look the way I imagined. It was that we didn’t fit together the way I expected. Ten minutes in the same room is like a year of online chatting.

I met Mrs. Lion online via a dating site. I loved her picture, and our messages were sexy fun. I was determined to meet her in person before any strong mental pictures formed. We did and had sex on our first date. The online foreplay worked for both of us. I think we were both a little surprised at how well we fit together. We held back emotional connection and emphasized the physical. At least, that’s what we thought we were doing. After a few weeks, it got harder and harder to separate and go home.

I think that if we spent those weeks online instead of in person, we would probably form some strong emotional connections and built mental images of each other that we could never match in real life. Instead, we connected sexually, fulfilling a need that drove us to the dating site. I had no expectations of love and a lifelong partnership. I just wanted to get laid. So did Mrs. Lion. That’s what we did, and enjoyed it. We liked it enough to meet once or twice a week for more. It was big fun.

Love sneaked up on us. We had no expectations beyond getting off. It didn’t matter one bit. We fell in love effortlessly, silently, while we fucked. We didn’t negotiate or discuss wants and needs. We didn’t have any choice. We needed to be together. We still need that. It’s been twenty years and it’s just as strong. Go figure.

Today is the 19th anniversary of the day we first met in person. How can I remember that? Maybe it’s because all the dates are concentrated in one month. We met online on the 13th of August. Three days later, we met in person. Three years later, on August 15, we got married. It was a coincidence that we got married in August. Lion had just gotten a job, and he was able to get medical benefits. He also wanted us to be able to make decisions on each other’s health should anything horrible happen. Oh, and we were in love, of course.

Anyway, sometimes it feels like we’ve known each other forever, and sometimes it feels like a short time. I think the short time comes from the realization that we wasted so much time with the wrong people. We wish we had met sooner. However, I know that we met when we were supposed to meet. I was ready. He was ready. The timing was perfect.

We are literally an odd couple. We don’t share the same taste in music. He likes opera, classical music, and musicals. I do not like any of that. He has a more discerning palate. He likes lobster. I like junk food. He’s neater than I am. He’s Felix, and I’m Oscar. Well, not that bad. He’s not as fastidious as Felix, and I’m not as messy as Oscar, but there’s no reason we should work. Except, we do. I don’t know what it is, but we were made for each other. Sappy! Yup. That’s us.

It really doesn’t matter why we shouldn’t be together. We are together, and that’s not going to stop anytime soon.

Anna Faris, star of “Mom” looks to Mrs. Lion like a teenage boy.

Mrs. Lion commented the other night while watching a rerun of the TV sitcom, “Mom.” Anna Faris was dressed in a t-shirt and panties. Mrs. Lion said, “She looks like a teenage boy.” That reminded me of something I read years ago, “Men think the ideal woman looks like a 16-year-old boy.”

I suppose that’s true. I find Anna Faris very hot. I like women with narrow hips, small boobs, and small butts. Anna Faris fits that mold. Mrs. Lion doesn’t look like a 16-year-old boy. She is much more womanly. I think that women underestimate how we think. The male mind isn’t fixated on a single sexual archetype. If I am looking at females, I don’t know, my eye will definitely be drawn to the Anna Faris archetype. I admit it.

That doesn’t mean I can only be turned on by someone who is built like her. In reality, I’m more aroused by Mrs. Lion. Physical archetypes are visual attractants. They get our attention. It doesn’t mean we want to marry them. It doesn’t even mean we want to have sex with them. It means we find them sexually arousing. I suppose that if we were instinct-driven animals, we would hurry over and mount them without further ado. Being thinking critters, the only value this initial reaction has is to generate enough interest to want to know more.

Every relationship starts with some sort of initial trigger that makes us want to know the other person. I found Mrs. Lion on a dating site. Her profile had a closeup of her smiling face. I loved that smile! I knew I wanted to meet its owner. I sent her a message letting her know I was interested. Something I wrote her piqued her interest. We wanted sex and, based on this brief exchange, decided to meet and fuck.

She turned me on. I loved how she looked, felt, tasted, and smelled. We fit. I was attracted to her. No, she didn’t look like a 16-year-old boy. It didn’t matter at all. She was exactly right for me. Apparently, I was right for her as well. We kept meeting and screwing our brains out. We also talked and laughed. The more I got to know her, the more I realized I didn’t want her to go home. It wasn’t love at first sight. It had almost nothing to do with appearance. In the beginning, it had a lot to do with sex.

I know that some women are threatened if they discover their mates are attracted to other females. They worry that they lose in a direct comparison. That’s just silly. How do you compare someone you have loved for over a decade with a stranger with the archetypical body? You don’t. It makes no sense. Every night I fall asleep next to the only woman I love. I hope that doesn’t change the rest of my life.