Mrs Lion Comments (Page 475)

Yesterday we did some work on the RV. We replaced a part and winterized it. We still have some cleaning to do, but we got the hardest chores done. Everything else is quick and easy.

While Lion was making dinner, I admired his butt. I love touching him. Then I reminded him that he used to get swatted standing up in the kitchen. He’d made a comment in a post the other day that he’s never been swatted standing up in the camper. So he reminded me that it’s been a while since he was punished in the kitchen. My first thought was, “What do I have to do to make this guy happy?” I know that’s not what he meant, but that’s what I thought.

Since this came on the heals of my broken promise of the other night, I guess I am super sensitive right now. Last night I didn’t promise we’d play, but when he asked at 10:19 if we were going to, I felt we should. I didn’t want to disappoint him. However, if I acquiesce then I am allowing him to top from the bottom.

What I need to do is suck it up, like I tell him to do. It will take a little time. I’ve been doing better, but sometimes it seems like it’s one step forward and two steps back. It’s a good thing I know I’m a work in progress otherwise I could get permanently stuck going backwards.

I’m not saying Lion should stop making comments. If he goes too far I do have the mechanisms to reel him in. He could find out how quickly he goes from no kitchen spanking to too much kitchen spanking. But I have to be the one to make that decision.

My first thought, when I realized that Lion was upset that I hadn’t played with him as promised the other night, was that I just won’t promise anything anymore. But what fun is that? Actually, I’m usually more careful. I usually say maybe we’ll do this or maybe we’ll do that. I don’t know if that registers in his mind as a definite or as a maybe. I know the more pertinent point is that we (I) need to communicate more effectively. I will work on that. And I will also go back to saying maybe.

This morning, Lion reported waking up trying to get hard in his cage. I told him he was probably dreaming about the vibrator. He laughed. He must be back to normal now. A job can do wonders. When he played last night he was hard almost immediately. I got him so close to the edge a few times I thought he would spontaneously combust. Initially I was going to use a butt plug but he said it hurt a little just with my fingers. I didn’t want to let him off the hook that easily so I got more lube and just worked in two fingers. He winced at the movement so I just wiggled them a little. I also thought I was massaging his prostate but he said he couldn’t feel it. Oh, well. More practice is needed.

I also switched things up a little when I did his maintenance swats after we played. In the beginning I said I would do them early and then we’d play later. That way he wouldn’t confuse punishment or maintenance with play. Unfortunately, more often that not I’d forget to do them till it was near play time or I’d forget to do them altogether. Last night we played earlier and I decided to wait for the swats. He wasn’t happy when he saw the paddle. Poor thing.

I have also decided to add a punishment to the list for Monday. I was telling Lion about a new person at work and he interrupted me. I shot him a look and continued talking. I should have made him pull the car over right then and whomped him in traffic. Instead, he will get swats for his transgression. He won’t like them at all. And that’s a promise.

I have also decided that Lion will be punished when he buries his face in his cell phone. When I am playing on my iPad I’m usually still paying attention to what’s happening around me. He can ask me a question and I will respond. If he’s looking at something on his cell phone, he is gone. This is especially annoying when I’m driving and ask which way I should be turning or if I’m pointing something out to him. By the time he realizes I’m talking to him it’s too late. Or, worse yet, he says the same thing I just said. I’m tempted to ask him questions just to have him absently agree to things he wouldn’t ordinarily agree with. Can we get another dog? Uh-huh. So you’ll eat raisin bran tomorrow morning? Uh-huh. Can I invite a guy into the bedroom with us? Uh-huh. It could be very amusing. To me, at least.

I dropped the ball last night. It wasn’t intentional. I don’t even know what happened. Lion says I was buried in my iPad. I was playing, but I was as responsive as I usually am. In one of our email exchanges I said we’d play. On the way home I was thinking about the days getting shorter and winter setting in, and how nice it is to snuggle with Lion in the yucky weather. When I got home he said his shoulder hurt but he was okay for non-shoulder activities. Based on his wincing from time to time, I guess I got it into my head that he was hurting more than he was letting on. I was conflicted about playing.

I had his key out and I even brought the vibrator out. We watched football and then some other shows. The entire time I was wrestling with his being hurt and whether we should play. He kept saying he was fine. The problem is that he really wanted to play. And I was waffling. And I waffled so much that he thought I am losing interest in him. I am not losing interest. I am indecisive. And I am inconsistent. I should have told Lion about the voices in my head arguing about whether to play or not. He would have ended the debate quickly. Or, I should not have said we’d play. I guess I didn’t realize how much he relies on that.

He always apologizes to me when I try to play with him and he’s not in the mood. I just roll with it. Stuff happens. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t. If not tonight, then tomorrow. No big deal. But it is a big deal to Lion. He gets his hopes up. That’s not to say that I can’t walk through the door with a raging headache and tell him the plans have changed. He would understand that. But I have to tell him the plans have changed. Yes, if I walked through the door and said I had a headache, he would probably assume the plans had changed. Last night I did not have a headache. There was no outward appearance that things had changed. I needed to specifically tell him what was going on. He can’t read my mind anymore than I can read his. That’s probably a good thing for both of us. But it means I have to be concise.

The last thing I want to do is disappoint Lion. He means everything to me. Tonight we’ll play. I don’t care what I feel like. If Lion is feeling okay, we’re playing. I can’t let him down two nights in a row.