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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

{Friday, dinner time} Mrs. Lion has been writing a lot about making me wear a diaper. It is easy for her, since all she has to do is tell me to put one on. It provides me with varying levels of discomfort. From a play perspective it’s an attractive option. If she makes me wear the diaper when we run errands, it is a bit more interesting for me. For some reason she hasn’t wanted me to do that. Of all the issues involved with diaper wearing, going out in one is not a bit of a problem for me. Well, no worse than having to wear one at all.

I went to my doctor today to get clearance for surgery. I am in excellent health. So, all that’s left is scheduling the dreaded event. This is relevant to the diaper discussion because I am limited in how we can play. My shoulder hurts and makes it unwise to tie me down. So, we are limited to non-bondage activities. That leaves a lot of options. So far, Mrs. Lion has only mentioned diapers.

The bad kind of pain, my shoulder, distracts me from the sort of BDSM play that I love to hate. It also makes it hard for me to remember my rules. It just sucks energy and forces me to focus on it. Both of us spend hours researching the surgery and recuperation. I am very happy that Mrs. Lion is committed to finding some play this weekend. It’s a constant that will help us both remember that my injury isn’t going to own our lives.

It’s been four days since my last orgasm. We are back to the standard lion chastity routine.  Despite the pain, I’m very horny. This offers my lioness teasing opportunities. I’m sure she’ll write about our activities in her post tomorrow.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

It was very kind of Mrs. Lion to decide I don’t have to wear a male chastity t-shirt at Kinkfest. While I’ve never kept my current BDSM interest secret, I didn’t advertise either. It’s true that I have been an educator at these events for many years. People attending my workshops, like you, get an intimate view of what I do as far as the workshop’s subject. I wanted to do one on male chastity this year, but I made that known to the organizers too late to be considered. Mrs. Lion wondered why I would be sensitive about revealing my interest in male chastity if I am happy to offer public workshops on the subject.

These events are attended by people of all sorts. Some are completely unaware of our kink. Others might view wearing a chastity device as an invitation to treat the wearer, me, with disrespect they think a “sub” should accept. I’ve seen this behavior in the past directed at guys who were obviously submissive. Lion that I am, attempting to treat me that way is likely to go poorly. I choose to avoid such annoying, energy-draining encounters.

People who attend a workshop on a given subject are willing to learn and tend to treat practitioners with respect. That’s why I don’t mind sharing my submission to Mrs. Lion in that part of a public venue. But in the open space there is just too much opportunity for unwelcome attention.

That brings me to the central issue: submitting to someone does not a “sub” make. The people who tend to refer to each other as “doms” and “subs”, also like to generalize about what that means. Those terms may be useful on the Internet, but in real life they are ludicrous. Virtually everyone can be dominant or submissive at various times. Dominant isn’t a noun. It’s an adjective. It describes behavior, not a person.

I am an aggressive, dominant male. I always have been. In the past, when not inflicting pain on willing victims, I have enjoyed receiving sensation play myself. No one, including the woman topping me, considered me submissive. So here I am in a full-time power exchange. There is absolutely no doubt that Mrs. Lion is in charge and controls significant parts of my life. Does that make her a “dom” and me a “sub”? Please!

Life just isn’t that simple. What we write about here is the part of our life where Mrs. Lion is the boss and exercises significant control over me. It’s very real. The male chastity and domestic discipline are 100% in force. None of it is so-called play. But that is only a slice of who we are as individuals and as a couple. Most of the time we are equal partners and share everything. We support one another and share responsibilities. I make decisions for both of us some of the time. Mrs. Lion does the same at other times.

As Mrs. Lion has written, to most of the world we are a normal vanilla couple. You, of course know we aren’t. The reason we “pass” as vanilla is because most of the time we are. But in private, as you know, I better follow my rules and I get orgasms only when Mrs. Lion decides to give me one.

People are too complex to label so simply as “doms” and “subs”. We are complex, multi-dimensional critters. The Internet is the only place where it works to reduce folks to such simple stereotypes.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal

Last night Mrs. Lion was looking over t-shirts that we might wear at the April Kinkfest event. Cafe Press has a t-shirt for every occasion. One that she particularly liked read, “I can go anywhere I want, but I need permission to come.” Hoo boy!

I’m not sure I could wear that. I guess I have a lot more ego investment with how I am perceived by the BDSM community than I thought. It goes deeper than that. I don’t identify as submissive. Currently I am. I can’t deny that Mrs. Lion is in charge of me. But still I think of myself as “letting” her be in charge.

The fact is that she is the boss. She isn’t an in-your-face, drill-Sargent sort of boss; but she is in charge. I accept that. Well, I mostly accept it. This past weekend I realized that Mrs. Lion waits for my cue to play with me. I told her that I just figured she would play with me when she wants. Then I started thinking about what I said.

From a fantasy perspective, the dominant woman plays with her bottom for her amusement. He just accepts it submissively. From what I’ve seen, this is rarely the case. It certainly isn’t with Mrs. Lion and I. BDSM play is something she does for me. She knows it’s something I want.

It isn’t really fair of me to insist she also decide when I want it. I suppose we should set up a signal or a fixed day for this activity. Yes, it isn’t the spontaneous action of my fantasies, but it is a realistic way to keep this sane. Maybe we should run it the same way as we do punishments. Monday and Thursday are punishment days. Mrs. Lion has the option of accumulating my sins and delivering retribution on those days; or she can punish me any other time.

We set up the punishment days as a teaching tool for domestic discipline. At this point, Mrs. Lion rarely waits to punish me. But we both like the ritual. So, punishment days remain. What if we did this same sort of thing for BDSM play? A specific time could be set aside for it. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion won’t take other opportunities, but we know that the scheduled day will have some play in it.

I like this idea. It allows me to let go of requesting play. It frees Mrs. Lion from worrying that she is neglecting me. It also frees her from wondering if I am in the mood to play.

This brings me back to my original thought. If I get play on demand, it doesn’t make me feel submissive. Of course, you may wonder if I want to think of myself as submissive. I don’t think I do. But should I? Should I get that t-shirt and wear it even if it feels humiliating to me? Mrs. Lion doesn’t think it’s necessary. I would rather not. What is the right thing for me to do?

By:
In: 2.0, BDSM, Lion's Journal

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion’s post discussed a new “athletic event” for me: enema retention. This came completely out of right field. I never saw it coming. Until now, we used enemas to clean my lower bowel to make way for various visitors that Mrs. Lion cared to insert. We use Fleet enemas and they do a good job.

In addition to being the overture to anal activity, we may now include enema retention to our play repertoire. As she proposed it, there would be consequences for failing to retain the enema for specified periods of time. Diaper wearing was one of the ideas she put forward. You can read her post here for her initial thoughts.

There’s actually a practical benefit in training me to hold my water, so to speak, longer. The longer the enema is retained, the better the cleansing. I tend to expel it at the first sign of urgency. I suggested that to be mean and to avoid any mess, that I wait while sitting on the bowl. We aren’t talking about long periods of time. Those prepackaged enemas have stuff in them that increases the urge to “go”. We will have to experiment to see just how long I can hold it.

Neither of us is particularly drawn to playing with excremental bodily functions. It’s true that I am made to sit in wet diapers. But that’s more for the humiliation and discomfort than it is about piss play. That doesn’t appeal to either of us.

I was amazed to read that post yesterday. I never thought about that form of play. It was a total surprise. That thinking is definitely Lioness 2.0. She’s becoming a creative top. Providing physical challenges is a sophisticated category of play. Bodily function control is one of that type of challenge. In a sense we have been doing this with the diapers.

For example, I am sometimes required to wear a diaper until I have peed in it twice. Then, I have to keep it on until I need to pee again. This can have me sitting in a very (2 pee’s worth) soggy diaper for hours. If I can find a way to need to pee soon after I fill the diaper with the second pee, I will minimize how long I am trapped in that very heavy, wet diaper. Indirectly, I am being trained to try to control my urination schedule.

Obviously, I can’t do it very well. But that’s not the point. The soggy diaper training focuses my attention on a bodily function I don’t think about under normal circumstances. For the time I am in diapers, I am acutely aware of how my need to pee affects my comfort. It’s an interesting form of mind control. All 2.0.has to do is put me in a diaper and she seriously refocuses my thinking.

Holding an enema is less about poop than it is about force of will. My body is screaming to have me let go. If I’m on the bowl, all I have to do is relax and let things happen. But I can’t. I have to endure the increasing pressure if I want to avoid the consequences of going too soon. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t let me see the time, I can’t anticipate the clock reaching the point when things will be ok. I just have to hold on as long as I can. It’s a test of my will and endurance with real consequences for not going the limit.

Both are obviously humiliating forms of play. But in reality neither has anything to do with excrement. Diaper time is not about pee. It’s about a form of mind control. Enema retention is a test of my will. It has nothing to do with the poop that is causing me distress.

Bodily function play forces me to try to manage things I normally take for granted. She can smile at my distress and discomfort. Oh yes, this is definitely 2.0 fun and games. I have to admit that in a weird way I find the diapers exciting. I don’t know how I will feel about the enemas.