Again, I’m sorry for not posting in a while. The news is not good. On Saturday, Lion was weak and fell three times. I’m assuming the first fall caused a huge bruise. He complained of his back hurting, but we got him back to bed. A few hours later, he fell going into the bathroom. We got him up and onto the toilet. Unfortunately, he fell again. This time he broke his foot and bumped his head. He was too weak to make it back to bed, so I called 911.
The original plan was for the medics to get him into bed. However, it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen. His blood pressure was 40/25. I’m not sure how he was still alive and as coherent as he was. We thought he was dehydrated. In the ambulance he was given fluid and seemed to perk up. By the time I met him in the ER, he was himself again. He was admitted so they could continue to work on his blood pressure.
Sunday, his blood pressure was up and down. They kept adding new drugs and he was responding, but his pressure was still up and down. At about 3 am Monday, I received a call that they wanted to do a blood transfusion, which Lion originally agreed to, but then rescinded. I told them to do it and headed to the hospital. He was coherent enough when I got there to ask why I approved the transfusion. His blood was getting too acidic, and they postulated that his bruise was still bleeding. He understood why I did what I did. By afternoon Monday, they were starting dialysis. He hadn’t eaten anything since dinner Saturday and drinking anything, even water, made him vomit. His kidneys were not getting rid of the toxins.
With the dialysis going and several different drugs pumping into him, he was still in and out of it. Even when he was out of it, he seemed to know I was there for him. He was sleeping when I left this afternoon to let the dog out. Around 11 pm, the doctor called and said they needed to intubate him. He’d stop breathing and not start right up. He’s not on a mechanical ventilator and I’ve been assured they’ll wake him up from time to time to see if he’s able to be de-intubated.
Today was rough. Between his being out of it more often and the need for transfusions and dialysis, I was right on the edge of losing it myself. I was operating on only a few hours sleep and hoped to get more tonight. After the intubation phone call, all thoughts of sleep went out the window. I’m very scared for him. The past few days, I’ve been telling him to hang on and get better. Now I’m afraid he’s in more pain than ever. I don’t want him to suffer. When I see him in the morning, I think I’ll have to have the letting go talk.
This is not to say I want him to go. I just don’t want him in pain. I also don’t want him to keep getting worse and worse. If he can’t battle back, I want him to let go.
It’s horrible how fast life can change for the worst. I wish he was in his own bed like he wants and yelling at the stupid people on Wheel of Fortune who can’t figure out the obvious puzzle.
Please keep him in your thoughts.
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