Here I am at nearly sixty days since my last orgasm. I’ve been worried that perhaps sex is finished for me. The only erections I’ve had were produced by injecting Trimix into my penis. No matter how hard she tried, Mrs. Lion couldn’t make that artificial boner ejaculate. Something changed this morning.
I was in bed after breakfast. The TV was off, and I was daydreaming. My thoughts turned to when I was much younger, and I replayed a sexy session with a friend. My hand wandered down, and I discovered a semi-erection. I was getting hard on my own. It didn’t go any further, and my penis was far from fully erect. It was on the way.
That means I still have the capacity to get erect to some degree. Does that mean that my ED is psychological? It could be. There is no physical problem that would interfere with sexual performance. I’m not taking any new medications. In fact, I’m taking a lot less than I was six months ago.
I’m sure that the injections cause some of the problems. While they make me nice and hard, I also feel some discomfort from the injection itself. Could it be that the boner is useful for intercourse but not necessarily for my ability to ejaculate? I’m starting to think that it might be. The problem may have less to do with the mechanics of an erection and more to do with my libido.
As a male, I’m used to being able to get myself aroused. We, males, are almost always in heat. It’s the way we’re designed. Maybe as I age, that ability starts to disappear. Perhaps we need help to get going. That’s been a problem here. Mrs. Lion lost her libido some time ago. Anything sexual that she does is an altruistic gesture that comes from her heart. That organ is a lot less reliable in terms of sexual creativity.
She’s never been very inventive when it comes to the bedroom. I’ve always come up with what I thought would be fun. I bought the toys. I proposed possible activities. Mrs. Lion has always been willing to try anything I suggest. Things are changing. I’m not feeling inventive. I don’t know what will work for me. Things that are reliable lion-starters have either been forgotten or are treated as routine tasks. Since I’ve always been the source of excitement, my sagging libido changes our dynamic.
What to do? I know that spanking is important in terms of general well-being and sexual fuel. That seems to have disappeared. Playtime, even if I don’t want it at the time, also fuels my libido. We aren’t doing any play at all. The massage table hasn’t been opened in months. The IcyHot sits unused. Mrs. Lion did tie up my balls on one occasion and on another used clothespins. That was nice, but not enough to start my engine.
I may be wrong, but I think that unless Mrs. Lion takes over the sexual leadership role, I’m not going to get better. I think that to wake me up, I need fuel for the fire. This isn’t just dragging out the toys and using them on me. That’s nice, but it is far from enough. It’s finding ways to build anticipation. Discovering what makes me pant for some action. It isn’t, “I’ll put clothespins on your balls if you want.” That doesn’t fire me up. I need to both anticipate and fear what’s coming next.
Turning me on has very little to do with getting me hard. Sure, that’s important and fun, but it’s easy to do with Trimix. The key is to make me want and need to get off. It’s easy to see how things have changed. Just read our posts from 2016 or 2017. Then look at what we’ve written more recently. The sexual tension has gone. That could be a cause of my ED. At this point, it will take a lot to turn things around. I wonder if it’s possible.