Whew! I Could Have Gotten 590 Swats During Yesterday’s Football Playoff

Mrs. Lion tried to give me a blow job on Friday night. She worked very hard, but I couldn’t get there. She told me that she wasn’t trying to edge me. She wanted me to have an orgasm. It’s no surprise that I was very horny on Saturday, but Mrs. Lion felt too achy to try again. An odd thing happened Saturday night. I woke up several times with a solid boner. I must have been dreaming about sex. That hasn’t happened in ages.

I’m not complaining. It was a very nice feeling. I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion is feeling any better today. I’m writing this early Sunday afternoon. The Giants are in a playoff, and our NFL game has escalated to ten swats per point scored. We start the season off with three swats per point. One swat is added for each game the Giants lose. They have lost seven games so far, hence ten swats per point. Even if the Giants lose today, our game continues with whatever team we choose to watch and root for right up to the Super Bowl. So, if the Giants lose today, I’ll be up to eleven swats per point in the next playoff we watch. Incorrectly handicapping a game gives me a much more painful bottom.

I suggested one modification of our game. Currently, Mrs. Lion uses the same paddle for each touchdown, etc. I suggest that she use a milder (like leather) paddle for home team points and a meaner (wood?) paddle for opposing team scores. I think that is further incentive for me to root harder for the home team. Yesterday we watched the Seahawks/San Francisco game. We weren’t playing because Mrs. Lion was under the weather. We root for the Sea Hawks. The score ended at Sea Hawks 19, San Francisco 40. Had we been playing, I woudl have gotten 190 swats with the milder paddle and 400 swats with the mean one. Ouch!

Don’t get me wrong. I like anticipating our game. While we play, I question my sanity. What the hell,  it’s the way I’m wired. When we watch today’s game, I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will deliver memorable swats for each point. It could be painful for me to sit when I write tomorrow’s post.

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