Lion suggested changing our football spanking game. I admit it had me confused for a while. It reminded me of playoff scenarios when the sports guy says team 1 needs teams 2 and 3 to lose in order to make the playoffs, but if team 2 wins, then team 1 can still make it if they win and team 3 loses. If a train leaves Chicago…. It’s bad enough when I have to figure out that one touchdown and a point after equals twenty-one swats. Now he wants to add a swat for each point and, oh by the way, circle back to pick up swats for the points we missed. Two plus two equals four, carry the one, nineteen. Trigoalgecalculus is hard.

How about this? We start out with the three swats per point and add in the number of losses our team has to make it five swats per point. And we can do five swats for each sack. Adding insult to injury, if our team loses, next time it will be six swats per point. I don’t understand why he wants the swats as soon as points are scored, but then again, I don’t understand why he wants swats to begin with. I guess we’ll do the swats along the way. I thought they would make a bigger impact, no pun intended, if they were delivered all at once, but clearly, I don’t know what I’m talking about. What I do know is that making things more complicated makes me not want to do it anymore.

We’re at the halfway point of the season. There are nine games left in the regular season. We’ll make this change now and, if there are any teams in the playoffs we care about, maybe we’ll tweak it again. Maybe by that time, I’ll have my head wrapped around the whole circling back to pick up missed swats thing.

Listen to this post.