It is another typical day in the Pacific Northwest. The temperature hovers in the 40s with an occasional dip below freezing. It’s spring here nine months of the year. We don’t get as much rain as people think. Our annual precipitation is about the same as in New York City. The difference is that ours comes in smaller, more frequent doses. When we first moved here, the nine months of cloudy weather bothered me. I have come to like it. For one thing, the sun bothers my eyes. For another, our weather gets much colder in winter or hotter in late spring (we have three months of summer sun each year) when the clouds dissipate. We are very far north, farther than northern Maine. The only reason we have such mild winters is that the Pacific Ocean and our insulating cloud cover keep us warm.

We haven’t been active. Monday night, there was no sexual activity. I figured that Mrs. Lion was concerned about her Tuesday meeting in Seattle. Whatever the reason, we watched TV and went to sleep. In her post yesterday (“Spankardy“), she promised to revive Spankardy. We tried various rules for the game over the last few years. I’m not sure that we found the right set yet. I’ll offer a suggestion to get us started again.

The reason it’s hard to work this out is that there are a few different options/opportunities during play:

  1. Answer a question correctly
  2. Answer incorrectly
  3. Don’t answer at all
  4. Daily double bet
  5. Final Jeopardy

Those are the possibilities during the game. Mrs. Lion likes to deliver all of the swats after the show is over. To help her keep track of swats during the game, she has a counter that can add and subtract. Initially, I only got swats for missing questions. I could avoid being spanked by staying silent. We tried various ways to fix that. None were great. Here’s my newest suggestion:

  1. Answer a question correctly -1 swat
  2. Answer a question incorrectly +10 swats
  3. Don’t answer at all +3 swats
  4. Daily double bet Can bet up to all swats earned so far. Get it wrong, double the bet added to the previous total. Get it right, subtract the bet from the total.
  5. Final Jeopardy Must bet at least 1/2 total. Get it right, subtract from total. Get it wrong, double bet added to total.

We can make the game more “exciting” by doubling the values for right, wrong, and skipped questions during Double Jeapordy.

This may seem too complicated for playtime. I don’t think it is if Mrs. Lion keeps a cheat sheet. I may be sorry I suggested this. There are a total of sixty questions before Final Jeopardy. If I don’t answer any, I would get ninety swats in the first round and 180 during Double Jeopardy. That would put me at 270 for the Final. If I bet the minimum (135) during Final and got it wrong, I would be at 540 swats for the game. It’s good to know trivia around here.

The football season is winding down. There is only one more game left. Only one more chance to play our NFL spanking game. We root for the New York Giants. They made it to the playoffs and lost during the first round. That means I get eleven swats per point for the remainder of the playoffs and the Superbowl. My bottom will be sore for sure.

I’m not sure why, but we don’t have any other games. That’s a little surprising. Mrs. Lion loves playing games. That’s what she’s doing on the iPad most of the time. I tried to do some research on the subject. I failed to find anything useful. Most spanking games turned out to be male fantasies about erotic spanking. The games were too stupid to consider. That means any new inventions are up to us.

We can rule sports out. We don’t follow any other sporting activities. We also don’t play games like Scrabble. We never have. I’m not sure why, but we don’t. We don’t play cards. I used to play bridge, but that doesn’t interest Mrs. Lion. That doesn’t mean we can’t find a game that we both like. It’s very easy to convert nearly any vanilla game into kinky fun.

Here’s an idea. What about blackjack, for example? In the casino, you buy chips and then bet them on each hand. What if Mrs. Lion is the house, and she “sells” me chips? Let’s say that we charge one swat per dollar bought. I can buy as many chips as I can afford. Before we start, she “sells” me the chips. She also decides the minimum bet per hand. If she declares a ten-swat table, I have to bet ten swats on each hand. That means I need to buy enough chips to play a few hands. I can “buy” more chips at any time.

The objective could be for me to win enough chips to “buy” sexual activity. Mrs. Lion could decide how much a handjob or blowjob would cost. Maybe she could add vaginal sex to the menu. If the price is high enough, it would be impractical for me to buy enough chips to get what I want without playing.

The big problem with this game is that there is nothing in it for Mrs. Lion. At least, it seems to be very one-sided. If the game were fun for her to play and win, she might like the additional fun of making me decide how much spanking I want to take to buy into the game. This gets me to a very difficult point. Just what is fun for Mrs. Lion? For this to work, she needs to find something that would be fun for her. What do you think, Mrs. Lion?

As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday (“Sore Butt, Burning Ass and a Nice Blow Job“), I got 570 swats during the Giants game. We are up to ten swats per point and ten swats if the Giants quarterback is sacked. Mrs. Lion made the change I suggested (“Whew! I Could Have Gotten 590 Swats During Yesterday’s Football Playoff“) that she use a less severe paddle for home team swats and a mean one for the opposition’s score. She did that. 300 of the swats were with the easier-to-take leather paddle. The rest were administered with a very painful bloodwood swatter.

I admit it. Each touchdown made me question the wisdom of this spanking game. However, when the dust settled, and my bottom cooled, my memories were very happy. What can I say?

Our website was down overnight. One of the plugins I installed seems to destabilize our server. I removed the offending plugin. Hopefully, we will return to being stable. Our site has been online without trouble for a long time. This is the first serious issue. On the same subject, our blog may be offline on January 31 from 8 PM PST (11 PM EST) to 10 PM PST (1 AM EST). This is for cloud maintenance. Our migration to the cloud has largely freed us of all the hassles we had with other vendors. This is the first time we have been notified of activity that will impact our site availability.

Mrs. Lion was home yesterday and did some laundry and cleaning. She also ran an errand for me. Now, she is tired and achy. Trips to her doctor haven’t resulted in any explanation for this condition. Now that we are on a diet, maybe the weight loss will help relieve some of the pain.

Mrs. Lion tried to give me a blow job on Friday night. She worked very hard, but I couldn’t get there. She told me that she wasn’t trying to edge me. She wanted me to have an orgasm. It’s no surprise that I was very horny on Saturday, but Mrs. Lion felt too achy to try again. An odd thing happened Saturday night. I woke up several times with a solid boner. I must have been dreaming about sex. That hasn’t happened in ages.

I’m not complaining. It was a very nice feeling. I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion is feeling any better today. I’m writing this early Sunday afternoon. The Giants are in a playoff, and our NFL game has escalated to ten swats per point scored. We start the season off with three swats per point. One swat is added for each game the Giants lose. They have lost seven games so far, hence ten swats per point. Even if the Giants lose today, our game continues with whatever team we choose to watch and root for right up to the Super Bowl. So, if the Giants lose today, I’ll be up to eleven swats per point in the next playoff we watch. Incorrectly handicapping a game gives me a much more painful bottom.

I suggested one modification of our game. Currently, Mrs. Lion uses the same paddle for each touchdown, etc. I suggest that she use a milder (like leather) paddle for home team points and a meaner (wood?) paddle for opposing team scores. I think that is further incentive for me to root harder for the home team. Yesterday we watched the Seahawks/San Francisco game. We weren’t playing because Mrs. Lion was under the weather. We root for the Sea Hawks. The score ended at Sea Hawks 19, San Francisco 40. Had we been playing, I woudl have gotten 190 swats with the milder paddle and 400 swats with the mean one. Ouch!

Don’t get me wrong. I like anticipating our game. While we play, I question my sanity. What the hell,  it’s the way I’m wired. When we watch today’s game, I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will deliver memorable swats for each point. It could be painful for me to sit when I write tomorrow’s post.