Women and men are very different from one another. There are the obvious physical differences. I’m sure you have a good working knowledge of them. Then there are subtle-but-very-powerful differences that explain a great deal about why male chastity can fail.

Let’s start with the guys. Males are very fond of their penises. They’re obvious and change radically when aroused. Evolution has made sex a top priority for them. It isn’t that females don’t want sex. It’s a priority for males. The center of sex for a guy is his penis. The equation is simple: sex equals penis. This explains why so many guys send dick pics to women on social media. They assume that showing their arousal is a fun way of letting a woman know they are sexually attracted to her.

In fact, penis attention is an almost universal expression of appreciation to most men. If a guy is excited by the idea of surrendering sexual control by wearing a chastity device, he assumes his partner will enjoy the power she gains. If she hasn’t been exactly in heat lately, he assumes that by wearing the device and getting her agreement to control when he ejaculates, he will rekindle her interest in him. Some guys imagine that when their partners see their penises locked up, it will remind them that they should pay sexual attention to their men. That rarely works. Here’s why.

Women, for the most part, aren’t visually aroused by looking at a penis. Very few women want to see penises of men they aren’t sexually attracted to. That’s why dick pics are so universally rejected. There are a few good reasons for this aversion. First of all, women aren’t all that involved with their own genitals. They care a lot about their breasts and butts, but not so much about their vaginas. Unlike males, they experience arousal and sometimes orgasms when stimulated elsewhere.

Sex is a much more generalized experience for women. Genital fascination doesn’t usually make much sense to them. To compound this, from adolescence, girls learn that an erect penis is trouble. Sex can result in pregnancy. Even in the most liberal of times, girls are discouraged from interacting with cocks. Many girls learn to jerk off or suck boyfriends as a way of satisfying them and avoiding intercourse. It’s a problem-preventer, not a sport for the ladies.

From the teen years on, females avoid trouble by avoiding visual or physical contact with male genitals. Combine this with the natural disinterest in genitals and you have a big difference between the sexes. It’s almost a perfect storm for miscommunication.

Back to male chastity. Take the situation where the man figures that if he wears a chastity device, it will remind his partner to interact sexually with him. After all, she agreed to lock him up, etc. Her heart was in the right place. She realized that he was missing out. She might have bought his idea that if she had to deal with his chastity device, it would remind her to give him sex.

It almost always doesn’t work. It isn’t that the woman lied to him about the game. It’s probably because she almost never looks between his legs. Mrs. Lion, who is very active with me, admits that she rarely notices my penis unless she decides to play with it. She has had trouble being consistent with me. I suggested that if she locks me up, the chastity device would remind her. She seemed doubtful. The reason is that if she doesn’t look at my penis, she won’t see the device. Duh!

Now take the situation where the woman is not interested in her husband’s penis at all. He figures that wearing a chastity device will give her a reason to interact with it. She has him lock himself in. Then, if she thinks about it or he reminds her, she has him take the device off and jerk off. Has she given him what he wants? I don’t think so. For a few bucks a month he can pay an Internet “keyholder” to tell him to lock, unlock, and jerk off. It has to be very depressing for the guy.

What a man wants are interactions with his penis. Most of us males aren’t very fussy about what we get. We want our partners to do the heavy lifting. When I wear a chastity device, Mrs. Lion has me put the base ring on myself. She worries about hurting me if she does it. She takes over and puts on the cage. She and she alone delivers any teasing or other sexual pleasure I get. See? Interactive.

I understand that some women may have a lifelong aversion to handling a penis. When those women stop wanting intercourse, they have nothing left to offer their partners. I suspect this problem is behind many broken homes. Male chastity won’t fix this problem. Maybe some therapy or a pair of rubber gloves, along with seeing some videos on how to jerk off a man, can save some marriages.

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  1. Great insight. I think you should also post this at chastityforums.com. It would be very helpful to many.

    1. Author

      Please feel free to add a link to the post in a forum entry.

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