After fifty days, Mrs. Lion gave me a “just because” spanking. She wrote about it in her post yesterday (“A Mini “Just Because” Spanking“). I suppose she was right. My hide may be getting tender. It hurt a lot right from the start. Her warmup swats stung like hell. She says she wasn’t hitting very hard. I don’t know about that. She also said that I may not have felt her rubbing the floor tread over my bottom. I did. It didn’t hurt.
Apparently, I didn’t do anything specific to attach to the “just because” title. That’s either good news because I’m better trained or bad news because Mrs. Lion is just “going along.” The most important reason I wanted to initiate domestic discipline was to help Mrs. Lion develop sensitivity to things I do that annoy her and punish me when I do. I hope that she will return to her game of catching me being naughty.
For a very long time, I didn’t remember much about my childhood. I wasn’t abused or neglected. My parents didn’t have time for me and I was raised by hired help. As far as I can remember, I was only spanked once as a child. I think I was eight or nine. My parents had some friends over, and I was in my pajamas, ready for bed. I was being bratty and my mother threatened to spank me. I remember feeling a tingle when she threatened me. I continued being a brat.
My mother called me over. She was sitting in a straight-backed chair in our front hall. It was in clear view of the guests in the living room. She pulled my pajama bottoms down and put me over her knee. She gave me one very light swat and stood me up. She pulled up my pajamas and told me to go to bed. Until very recently, that’s all I remembered. At the time, I was confused. That wasn’t what I expected. Why did she just stop? Was she unable to hit me and couldn’t go through with it?
That’s what I always thought. Now, I’m not so sure. I think I had an erection, and she felt it when she put me across her lap. That’s probably what stopped her. I also think that she was against spanking. Her father spanked her with a belt when she was a kid. I think her resolve to avoid spanking, combined with my obvious pleasure at the thought of being spanked, stopped her in her tracks. I don’t remember if my penis was hard at the time. I got hard thinking of being spanked or tied up.
I didn’t know what an erection meant. I just knew it felt good. I wasn’t shy about it. I remember being hard in front of other boys when I was at summer camp. It just happened. I didn’t learn what it could do until I was eleven, when another boy taught me to jerk off. I had no information about sex. I stayed pretty ignorant until I graduated high school. I went to an all-boys boarding school. Despite all the juicy stories, I didn’t have a single sexual experience there.
I digress. Even without any information about it, I wanted to be spanked at a very young age. It was sexual to me long before I learned what sex was. I had no cultural or literary models. I just wanted to be spanked. This desire stayed repressed for many years. When I was in my thirties, I chatted with a woman online, and the subject turned to spanking. I think she wanted to be spanked. I was happy to discuss that with her.
I had other conversations on kinky topics after that. It was very hot. My desire to be spanked woke up. I asked my wife to spank me. It came out of the blue. I just said, “Will you spank me?” She said, “No.” That was it. Those two lines were the end of my marriage. I became more and more determined to experience spanking. I also wanted to be tied up but was happy to forgo that.
Some time passed with me devoting more and more time to chats online. Eventually, I told my wife that things weren’t working for me, and I wanted a divorce. I didn’t tell her what drove me away. I knew it was because when I asked a most important question, she just said, “No.”