Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Ironically, I only cry when I try to talk about it. I regret not making that last phone call, but it isn’t crushing me as much as I thought it would. Normally, I do the shoulda, woulda, coulda thing and that lasts for a long time. I know there’s no right way to grieve, but I worry that it will hit me later. From past experience, I think it will pop up from time to time when someone says something she would have said. With my father, it’s seeing a “picaresque” view. He was famous for silly stories and intentionally pronouncing things wrong. I guess that’s what memories do; they hit you when you least expect them.
I may be getting better. I don’t normally give Lion hints about things he might have forgotten, but he was standing in the kitchen doorway last night and I knew he’d forgotten to set up the coffee pot. I asked if he was coming in. He said no. I asked if he was sure. He said he just came to see me. I said I thought he might want to come in. He still didn’t get it. I told him to come in to see if there was a reason he should look around. Aha! He finally got the hint.
As much as he may have wanted to be whomped, I didn’t really want to do it. Obviously he didn’t forget on purpose. After my hints, he said it might have been better to have been spanked. It might have made an impression on him and helped him remember in the future. I’m sure it would have. He tends to remember once he’s been swatted. Or does he? Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago when he forgot to set it up? I’m thinking he’s been so focused on how I’m feeling that he didn’t think about his own butt. He better. I’m not sure how long I won’t want to whomp him.
[Lion comments — I was focused on Mrs. Lion. That’s why I went into the kitchen. I also forgot about the coffeepot. From previous experience as well as reading other disciplinary blogs, we males tend to need “reminding” after a month or so. I read that a long time ago and dismissed it as spanking fiction. Damned if it isn’t true of me. I really don’t know why, but Mrs. Lion is right.]