There is a lot of mythology around semen. Of course, it does have the amazing ability to fertilize an egg which then becomes a baby. That doesn’t seem to be what people who attribute power to this fluid are thinking about. Some think that male essence is contained in semen and that every drop that is lost reduces male life force. Some males who believe this actually consume every drop of semen they ejaculate. They believe that ingesting it returns the male essence to them.

Some Eastern religions practice semen retention. Sex for them is what Mrs. Lion and I call edging. They refer to this as Tantric sex. Both male and female partners enjoy sex right up to the edge of orgasm. Then they stop. It is believed that orgasm drains Lifeforce. At least in the Tantric model, both sexes bear equal responsibility for Lifeforce draining.

Some female bloggers distort these principles to fit a slightly different model. They like to claim that male orgasm control is required because ejaculation is harmful not only to the male, but also to his relationship with his partner. It’s a rather odd rationalization. I think part of the basis for this can be attributed to some behavioral changes during the male refractory period. There’s a completely natural loss of interest in sex for some time after ejaculation. Females, on the other hand, are generally ready to come again immediately after orgasm.

The rationalization is that the short-term emotional changes in a male after ejaculation are evidence that he loses something important every time semen is emitted. Therefore, they reason, the healthy male will have limited numbers of ejaculations, thereby minimizing the negative effects of losing semen cause. The women who espouse this kind of thinking recognize that they won’t convince their partners to go along with this unless they get something out of it other than frustration.

Since we know that almost every male orgasm control/male chastity situation is initiated by the male, this female rationalization about supporting male health through limiting ejaculation almost certainly comes after the male suggests the chastity game. This is interesting. The sequence of events begins with the male asking his partner to limit his orgasms. He is doing this because he finds the idea of surrendering sexual control very exciting.

If most women are like Mrs. Lion, when they agree to go along with it they do so because they want to make their partners happy. It seems to be a harmless, sexual game. Indeed it is. At this point there is nothing in it for the female partner. Despite the male fantasies about giving her endless altruistic orgasms, the reality is that she has to do a little extra work sustaining orgasm control for him. Mrs. Lion has been doing this for me for over seven years. It’s become a part of our life and we both enjoy it.

Would it be a more positive experience for the female if she believed that controlling her partner’s ejaculations improved their relationship and his emotional health? Now, she has strong motivation to assure that he only gets to ejaculate infrequently. Her job is to support their relationship by making sure she retains sexual control.

Even though a number of bloggers occasionally proclaim the value of this sexual therapy, reality is that no one has demonstrated any harm in a male ejaculating as often as he wants. At worst, he may be a little tired. There is some merit in sexual control. Some men masturbate frequently using porn as fodder for their sexual arousal. These males will almost certainly be less focused on real sex with their partners. Orgasm control using a chastity device can refocus them on their partners and away from jerking off. Sadly, it’s unlikely that most of these guys will be interested in male chastity.

The point is that orgasm control and male chastity is a sexual game. That doesn’t mean it can’t have great value for a relationship. It’s done wonders for ours. The benefit didn’t come from curtailing excessive semen flow. It came from building a new kind of sexual communication that restored something Mrs. Lion and I had lost. Nevertheless, even after seven years of playing, it’s still a game. It just happens to be one we don’t plan to ever stop playing.

Listen to this post.


  1. It turns out that there’s an evolutionary reason for human males’ compulsion to ejaculate frequently, beyond inseminating females. The viable lifetime of sperm cells in the body is about three days; after that, they are no longer vigorous “swimmers”, and are incapable of fertilizing an egg. Relatively frequent ejaculation, by masturbation if necessary, causes the “pipes to be flushed”, and maintains a supply of fresh sperm, ready to be dispensed into a female when the opportunity arises.

    The orgasm is a rather pleasant side effect of this species-sustaining drive…

    1. Author

      My understanding is that ejaculation isn’t necessary to keep the swimmers fresh. I believe they are reabsorbed in the testes once expired. For example, if you have a vasectomy (which I do), I still make sperm. Because the cords are cut, they can’t go anywhere. So they just get reabsorbed.

Comments are closed.