It’s funny how things change over time. I got a maintenance spanking on Tuesday night. Mrs. Lion delivered 300 swats. She used a paddle I used to fear. It’s made from bloodwood, a very hard, dense wood. It’s less than 1/2 inch thick. I realize she wasn’t hitting particularly hard, but truthfully it only got seriously painful once. It was all sting. I’m not complaining. I think it did the trick.
We both need frequent reminders of our disciplinary relationship. Neither of us is inherently physical. Without some sort of structure, physical punishment would disappear from our marriage. We would both miss it, but inertia could easily take over. It was much easier when I slipped up more frequently. Now, I’m pretty good about following the explicit rules. That means we have to rely upon Mrs. Lion improving her observance of things I do that might annoy her. I’m pretty sure I’m getting away with some things now.
I wish I had a better idea of how other couples who practice domestic discipline operate on a daily basis. I know that disciplined husbands don’t get daily spankings. Do they get them weekly? Monthly? At what point is the frequency so low that it ceases to be a disciplinary relationship? For me at least, spanking is much more than punishment.
It’s also a very intimate activity. In some ways, it’s far more intimate than sex. Certainly, it requires a great deal more trust. I have to trust that Mrs. Lion is consistently and justly punishing me. She has to trust that even though she hurts me, I’m not alienated. It took a long time for her to trust that. Now that she does, even though spanking me isn’t exciting for her, it’s a kind of sharing with a purpose.
This is where it got a little confusing for me. If the purpose is to educate me and teach me to modify my behavior, then why would it matter whether or not I got a maintenance spanking if my behavior is acceptable? The fact that I do need to be spanked, and whether she admits it or not, Mrs. Lion needs to spank me, regardless of the need for discipline suggests there is much more going on.
Part of it is sexual for me. It’s no secret that the idea of being spanked turns me on. Mrs. Lion is not turned on thinking of spanking me. She’s comfortable beating me but doesn’t get any particular pleasure from the act. Yet, when we were unable to continue our disciplinary activities for several months, she missed them. That means she gets something out of it whether or not she can identify the specific benefits.
In a way, our disciplinary activities act as a sort of stabilizer. They offer us a kind of balance. Each time she spanks me, Mrs. Lion is reinforcing her role. The reinforcement isn’t just for me. I think it’s for her as well. Each spanking gives me a way to show her that I want her to be my disciplinary wife. When she gives me a punishment-level spanking, it means that she cares enough to truly want me to change. More importantly, she is showing me that she trusts me not to withhold affection or get angry at her for punishing me
I suppose it doesn’t really matter what the exact emotional formula is. What matters is that we’ve learned there is real value in very regular corporal punishments. We both learned that it doesn’t matter whether or not we particularly like it when it occurs. The mysterious benefits are delivered through all my yowls and screams.
As I think back, it seems to me that things went most smoothly in all departments when I was receiving at least two spankings a week. I earned them by spilling food or forgetting to wait for Mrs. Lion to eat first. That didn’t matter. As I recall, we both seemed more animated, more interactive. Mrs. Lion really enjoyed catching me breaking a rule. I think there was satisfaction delivering the punishment the infraction earned. For my part, it felt right.
Our pleasures in our disciplinary relationship clearly come from different places. Mrs. Lion truly enjoys catching me. I think she needs to find new ways to exercise that skill. I like the idea of being spanked. In that sense it’s very symbiotic. On a more practical level, we avoid things that could cause us to fight later. On a much deeper level, the regular spankings somehow bring us closer.
I don’t think maintenance spankings have the same value. Yes, they do seem to help. I don’t think they help as much as I would hope. The same was true of Mrs. Lion’s experiments. Certainly, they were every bit is painful as a severe punishment spanking, but they lacked something. Maybe we both need the depth of an observed offense and retribution. Perhaps it’s not so much the spanking as it is the close observation of my behavior and then a concrete action when it fails to meet a standard.
We both prefer spanking as the punishment of choice. Maybe it isn’t the spanking itself. Maybe it’s my committing an offense, Mrs. Lion observing it, and then painfully punishing me for committing it. It could very well be that sequence of events, not just the application of a paddle to my bottom. Whatever it is, I think we both need our disciplinary marriage.
Spanking is indeed a more intimate process than sex. Probably because sex is a more traditional act.
Sex is, or should be, fun for both people. There is something fun un it for everyone. Spanking hurts. It is a risk for both partners.
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