(Sunday afternoon)Mrs. Lion is at our old house packing up the last of our stuff. She sent me a text, “Look what I found hanging in the closet under my robe. It was our old heavy leather slapper. This toy is about 2 feet long and 3 inches wide. It has a nicely weighted braided leather handle with two extremely thick, heavy, well-oiled pieces of leather. It weighs in at about 3 pounds. Needless to say, it makes a very strong impression and a very loud noise when it strikes its target. Nowadays my bottom is its target.
She’s there with a friend of hers who is helping out. This friend has no idea about anything we do. I imagine that Mrs. Lion quickly wrapped slapper in a towel or something and slipped it into a box. If her friend happened to see it, I wonder what Mrs. Lion would say about it.
We’ve been careful to sequester our large collection of BDSM toys and Mrs. Lion’s punishment paddles. I guess it was inevitable that we would miss something. I don’t think either of us have given the thought about this slapper for years. The rope that was covering it was last used over five years ago when we had a hot tub. Neither of us wears a robe around the house. I am always naked and Mrs. Lion generally follow suit.
I think it would be easier to explain our spanking toys then it would talking about male chastity. Most everyone has spanking fantasies. Explaining our play (not our FLRD punishment) might be met by a headshake, but trying to explain orgasm control would almost certainly generate a much less pleasant reaction.
I don’t think that the problem is the orgasm control, by the way. It’s the general reluctance to discuss explicitly sexual activities. Most of us adults are okay talking about sex in an impersonal, someone-else-is-doing-it context. When we talk about what we do, it’s too intensely personal to share with almost anyone.
It might not be too shocking to say that Mrs. Lion gave me a blow job, for example. After all, this is something most couples do. It would be a completely different story to talk in any detail about our edging sessions where Mrs. Lion leaves me intensely frustrated. This would probably lower sexual fuse if introduced in conversation.
It would be very embarrassing for me to describe how our version of male chat works. It would be even more difficult to explain wearing a male chastity device.
Way back in the mid-90s when I first discovered male chastity, wife found the idea sexually exciting, but I didn’t think I would enjoy having my penis taken away from me. At the time I was publishing a now-defunct sex toy a review site. Manufacturers sent me quite a few chastity devices. I would dutifully wear each one for no more than a day. It just didn’t do anything for me.
I didn’t have anyone to be my keyholder. At the time I was in top mode and had a full-time live-in submissive. She certainly couldn’t take on the keyholder role. Anyway, I wore them, checked the security, comfort, and feel, then wrote a review. Most of the devices I tested were impractical for 24/7 wear. They were either impossible to hide under clothing or uncomfortable as hell.
It didn’t seem to me back then that enforced chastity would be something that was a regular part of my life. By 1997 I was done reviewing chastity devices. I didn’t give them another thought until 2013. I happened to stumble across inexpensive chastity devices on Amazon.com.
My curiosity was piqued. I ordered a couple of them. When they arrived, eagerly tried them on. Neither was particularly comfortable. But the experience got me thinking. At this time Mrs. Lion was about a year or so into her loss of sexual interest. Any kind of sex between us, almost always hand jobs, were few and far between. I was feeling frustrated and unhappy about this. I took care of myself two or three times a week. It didn’t feel very good to me.
My bright idea was last Mrs. Lion lock me in a chastity device, assuming I could find one I could tolerate. Once locked up, she could agree to unlock me on a regular basis for some sexual activity. At that time I had been reading some of the chastity blogs and forums. I had an idea how the game was played in retrospect I can say that they weren’t very good ideas since they were based on the popular chastity myths.
I learned about the existence of dhgate.com, a site filled with little stores owned by Chinese merchants offering almost anything you might want. There were quite a few chastity devices available there (there still are!). Prices were about 50% lower than the same devices on Amazon.com. I shopped some more and found a few that could work. I ordered them and they arrived about 10 days later.
One of the devices felt pretty good. I only work for a few hours since at that time, Mrs. Lion was completely unaware of my newfound interest. One evening in December 2013 I told Mrs. Lion about enforced male chastity. I asked her if she would consider being my keyholder. She almost immediately agreed. I brought out the device that I thought would fit well, and she locked it on me.
One of the things I talked about with her at that first meeting was the idea of having an explicit agreement; a chastity contract. We decided that we didn’t need a formal document, but Mrs. Lion thought it would be a good idea for us to have an understanding of what we were up to.
Initial agreement said that I would remain locked in a male chastity device or a minimum of six months. At the end of that time either of us could call it off. We decided that we would not call it off before then. We knew that it would take some time for us to get used to the concept and the experience.
Part of the agreement was that Mrs. Lion would unlock my penis and play with it at least every other day. That did not mean she would get me off each time. She would tease me and perhaps edge me and then lock me up again. I was delighted that she was willing to do this. It meant that I would get sexual attention several times a week even if the result was not an orgasm.
That first device turned out to be very painful to wear after a couple of days. The base ring was hinged on the bottom and it opened and closed to lock. There was a piece of rubber tubing covering the hinge. Even so, that hinge caused me a lot of pain. I had to remove it for a while and since our short experience was, how shall I say, interesting, we agreed we would invest in a custom-made Mature Metal Jail Bird.
Once it arrived, comfort was no longer an issue. The device stayed on full-time. My experience suggests that the real fun for me had less to do with the device and more with the deal Mrs. Lion and I made. I know that there are a lot of guys who like to use chastity devices without a partner. I’m not suggesting that their experiences are less valid than mine. After all, modern chastity devices were invented as part of a kind of game where guys would build or buy a device, lock it on, put the key away, and have to do without sex until they could escape.
To each his own. For me, enforced male chastity is about orgasm denial, teasing and edging, most of all about control.