As you know, we call ourselves Lion and Mrs. Lion. I’ve had the lion nickname for decades. More often than not, these nicknames have proven prophetically appropriate. One area where they didn’t seem to fit had to do with our relationship. Almost anything you read about lions, describes their social order as being highly male dominant. The lion is king of the beasts and rules his pride of numerous lionesses with an iron paw.
As it turns out, nothing could be further from the truth. A pride is now defined as a group of lionesses. The average pride has just two. Generally, these lionesses are sisters. They decide if a lion who happens to be wandering around, is invited to join. Most of the time, they drive off any males interested in the pride. If they allow a male to join (frequently, male lions are in groups of two or more called alliances), they keep a close watch on him (or them).
The males are kept around because they are bigger and stronger and very useful at defending the pride. Contrary to old knowledge, the lionesses remained firmly in charge and if a lion displeases one of them, she will give him a painful bite in the butt. It turns out that the males spend an average of two years with any pride. After that time has elapsed, the girls kick him out and he has to find new lionesses. This is necessary to preserve the gene pool.
The only place where the lion is king is at the dinner table. The lionesses let the lions eat their fill before anyone else gets a shot at the game. This is frequently annoying to them because lions have big appetites and an alliance of two or three males can decimate a kill. The girls put up with it because they know the boys have to be strong and prepared to drive off marauders.
This little bit of natural history is brought to you by way of demonstrating how appropriate our nicknames turn out to be. Mrs. Lion generally makes sure that I’m fed food that I like even if it isn’t one of her favorites. Beyond that, she tolerates no misbehavior on my part. Sex is 100% on her terms. If I don’t behave as she wishes, my butt pays the consequences.
The weird thing about this is that until a couple of weeks ago I had no idea that lion sociology is so close to our own. The one very important difference is that Mrs. Lion and I have mated for life. I don’t think she’ll be driving me off anytime soon. In fact, we’ll be celebrating our 14th anniversary next week. Six of those 14 married years have been spent with me in male chastity living in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD).
I guess lions are our spirit animals. Our relationship is a very close model of our four-footed brothers and sisters. A lot of the current behaviors we demonstrate weren’t instinctive. At least they didn’t manifest themselves without a lot of help. For example, our equivalent of lioness butt biting: spanking, took a long time to evolve to the point it is truly effective. I want to be careful in how I define “effective”. Most of the time, I refer to how effectively Mrs. Lion spanks me in terms of the impression it makes on me. That’s really only half of the criteria. I can report on whether a particular spanking brought Mrs. Lion’s point home effectively. However, we need her to tell us if she feels that she is satisfied that she expressed what she wanted to with her paddle.
I don’t think she looks at it in those terms. I think she considers herself successful if she’s given me a sufficiently sore, red bottom. After all, she has frequently said that she spanks me because it’s something I want and need. However, now that we’re in lioness 3.0 mode, I’m being punished for things that actually mean something to her. She’s in the habit of evaluating her “work” by my feedback. I think it’s time that she use the effectiveness of how she’s changed me to evaluate her performance. Even in cases where there isn’t any real emotional stake, like when I spill food on my shirt, her success is easily gauged by how long it will be before I do it again. The same is true of me forgetting to remind her of punishment days. Repeat offenses are sure signs that she failed to make her point effectively.
We are beginning to move in that direction. Now that any offense earns me at least two spankings, it’s very easy for her to make a stronger point by adding more days. She can also select more severe implements if she feels they will help me learn.
In the four-footed lion world, if a lion’s behavior can’t be effectively controlled with strategic butt bites, he can be driven from the pride. In our two footed pride, Mrs. Lion has an almost limitless range of “incentives” to apply to me.
In a very real sense it’s a battle of wills. It can be veiled in forgetfulness or inevitable sloppiness, but the bottom line is that I’m doing something unacceptable. If we learned nothing else over the last six years, it’s that absolute consistency, strictly enforced works best for me. I think it also works best for Mrs. Lion. I am much happier when there are no exceptions and there is no mercy. Things are clear and clean that way.
It may not make a lot of sense to some people that I like such a rigid system. The reality is that Mrs. Lion is inclined to be very kind to me. I suppose it’s because our disciplinary relationship isn’t completely incorporated in the way she operates. I get it. I’m not saying that she isn’t consistent or strict. She is. She’s doing a great job as my disciplining wife. She needs me to remind her now and then that she is on the right track. I certainly don’t act that way when she picks up her paddle and tells me to get into position for spanking. I don’t think she expects me to welcome the spanking with joy. She knows it hurts. I think she does need me to remind her that she’s doing exactly what I asked her to do. She is and I’m grateful.