There is much more to male chastity than the hardware. Of course, the obvious loss of sexual control is a big part of it. As time goes by, even that loses some of its importance. Since I don’t masturbate, my only outlet, with or without a chastity device, is Mrs. Lion.
I know that a lot of guys like to think of this as a form of submission. I suppose it is. However, I don’t think I ever called the shots when it came to getting off. From my earliest dating experience through today, the female decided whether or not my penis was going to get any attention. I think that’s true of most men regardless of whether or not they wear chastity device.
This reality is true of almost every animal. The female decides who she will select and when she will allow him to mate with her. A seriously large proportion of sitcoms are based on the lengths a male will go to convince his partner to have sex with him. Let’s face it, we’ve spent most of our lives being sexually submissive. Masturbation is the only outlet we truly control.
When the ability to masturbate is removed, sexual dependence is complete. I can’t say that I mourn the loss of being able to jerk off. It was rarely that much fun. Generally, all it did was relieve some tension. When Mrs. Lion gives me a hand job it’s always much more fun than if I did it myself.
Partner sex is much more complicated than just stimulating each other’s sex organs. Like it or not, it’s an integral part of the bonding process. I know what you’re thinking. Guys often have one night stands and sometimes buy sex from hookers. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone tell me that this sort of sex is particularly satisfying. There is an emotional component missing just as it is with masturbation.
Enforced male chastity is about withholding sex. It formalizes the female control over male sexual release. You would think that practicing it would seriously challenge the bond between the caged male and his keyholder. It doesn’t. In the first place, it’s a consensual activity. In fact, the male asks his partner to lock him in chastity. Being locked up is fulfilling a male wish.
Over time, at least in my case, this power exchange provides a sense of security. I feel Mrs. Lion’s love through her denial and eventually giving me an orgasm. Enforced male chastity has brought us closer than ever. I don’t understand the mechanism. After all, male chastity is a sort of BDSM game. It’s just about controlling the male’s ability to get off. It’s a potentially cruel sex game. Yet, over time it’s become much more than that.
The mechanical parts of the game are pretty much automatic by now. Mrs. Lion effortlessly teases me and eventually fulfills my need to get off. We don’t discuss waiting time or chastity device wearing. Her absolute control over my ability to ejaculate is fully accepted by both of us. If anything, enforced male chastity has focused my lioness’ attention more sharply on my sexual needs.
We’ve extended her control to cover many other areas of my behavior. She accepts as routine her right to punish me if I don’t do as she wishes. Like chastity, this power exchange has none of the BDSM accoutrements attached to it. It’s just a normal part of our lives.
Without the leather trappings and other BDSM rituals, what we do feels to me like the way our marriage should be. It would be hard to imagine Mrs. Lion without her collection of paddles. They are just a normal part of our lives. From time to time readers comment that my punishments seem cruel and brand Mrs. Lion as a sadist. We usually don’t bother responding to those comments. I knew what I was getting into. I help Mrs. Lion become more efficient as a spanker. I celebrate her ability to make it difficult for me to sit down.
No, I’m not a pathological masochist. I’m sure there is some component of masochism in all this. But it’s absolutely not the point. She knows this. She understands that when she is strict I am happier. It’s very easy to apply labels to this. I must be a “sub”. Only on the Internet. I submit to Mrs. Lion’s authority and accept punishments she chooses to give me. I value our power exchange.
I’ve written that I like to be spanked. More correctly, I like the idea of being spanked. I can get an erection thinking about it. I cannot sustain an erection during a spanking. There are guys who really like being spanked. I remember a scene at a BDSM club where a top was administering a very severe spanking to her partner. He had a raging erection from beginning to end. He liked being spanked. That’s very different from me.
I guess you’d have to think about the meaning of the word “like”. I really like the idea of having my butt spanked hard. I absolutely hate it while it’s happening. Later, I fondly reminisce about the spanking. I like it when I have sore spots that I feel during the day after. See? It’s pretty complex. To further complicate things, I am happier if I get spanked regularly.
My reaction to wearing a chastity device is a little different. I know that a reasonably large number of men who wear chastity devices like to be challenged by having orgasms withheld for long periods of time. They like to brag about how long they’ve gone without. They also talk about how frustrated they are.
Our approach to enforced male chastity isn’t based on how long I have to wait. Mrs. Lion is usually unaware of how many days it’s been since my last ejaculation. I know. I keep track in a spreadsheet. She almost never asks me how long it’s been. She knows that I am happier if I wait at least two or three days between ejaculations. My refractory period is probably a day or so at this point. But I feel better waiting a little longer. It’s easier for me to get off.
Other than that, she doesn’t pay much attention to timing. My last orgasm was on June 1. It was after just four days of waiting. The one before that was 10 days. It doesn’t matter to her. Sometimes, it matters to me. Usually, however, I’m happy being teased and waiting until she decides it’s time for me to ejaculate.
Speaking of ejaculation, I’ve been producing little or no semen. I have no idea why not. I can say that the quality of my orgasms is just as good with or without the liquid treat for Mrs. Lion. In fact, I can’t tell if I ejaculate or not. I don’t think this is pathological, but I would certainly like to provide her with copious quantities of semen. I’ve been doing research on this and apparently there really isn’t anything I can do to change the situation.
The point of all this is that what seems very kinky and odd to many people has become a routine and important aspect of our relationship. With or without a chastity device, Mrs. Lion retains full control over my releases. Without any BDSM trappings, she enforces her will and her rules with corporal punishment. I accept this punishment and need it. Labels aren’t important. It’s just the way we are.
One reason I started this blog and we post to it almost every day, is that it gives us a living record of how we got where we are now. If you go back to our 2014 posts, the tone was very different. You could argue that we were playing with the BDSM activity. Over the years, we slowly evolved from play to incorporating this set of activities into our relationship. I would argue that spanking, for example, ceases to be BDSM when it becomes a routine tool used to help me learn. The same is true of enforced male chastity. It has become a formal agreement between my lioness and myself that she and only she controls any sexual use of my penis.
Now that we are in our sixth year of all this, it’s safe to say that we both find a lot of value in the way we live. It may be kinky to you, but to us it’s just the way we are.