It’s All For Me

I wonder how women perceive men who wear chastity devices. I don’t mean this in the sense that they might look down on us or think of us as “perverts”. I’m thinking about a more subtle reaction. The most obvious, but almost-never-mentioned conclusion she might reach is that the man cannot control his own penis. He needs a mechanical device to prevent him from expressing himself sexually.

In fact, this is the basis for most of the chastity fantasies floating around the Internet. The penis is considered as almost a separate entity from the guy it’s attached to. When you think of it this way, it makes absolutely no sense. I would think you’d belong in a mental institution if you couldn’t exhibit enough self-control to keep it in your pants. Compulsive masturbation is a pathology. I strongly doubt any of the men who claim they need to be locked up to stop, really have this problem.

Judging by my past, I would say that either boredom or frustration drove me to jerk off. It wasn’t any more complicated than that. If Mrs. Lion and I had a conversation about me masturbating without a chastity device being part of it, I’m pretty sure the outcome would be exactly the same as it was when I asked her to lock me up. If I’m prepared to accept her authority, at least in sexual matters, then if she told me I could no longer masturbate, then I wouldn’t. Certainly, there are times I’m super horny, but I’ve never been so horny my hand played with my penis despite my resolution to leave it alone.

If, on the other hand, I really didn’t accept Mrs. Lion’s sexual authority, I might sneak behind her back and jerk off. This is the basis of chastity fantasy. In it, the male is told to stop masturbating, maybe stop looking at porn, etc. He says yes, but has no real commitment to obeying. So one day she catches him at his computer jerking off to his favorite porn. She decides he can’t be trusted and locks him in the chastity device. That’s the story. I think it’s silly. Why would a guy who has no intention of keeping his hands off his penis allow his partner to put it in the chastity device?

It may seem like a harmless fantasy. I thought about this a lot. If I were the woman and my partner asked to be locked in the chastity device because he couldn’t be trusted without one, it would raise much larger questions in my mind. Why is this guy addicted to playing with his cock? Does he really think that little of me? Why would I want to play this silly game?

Men always talk about how trusting they need to be to allow their partners to lock up their penises. We all know that escape from most chastity devices is possible, often easy. When a guy has that conversation about having a chastity device locked on him, the real trust question has to do with his partner. Is he saying that she can’t trust him without some sort of mechanical bondage device around his penis? Is their bond so weak that he can’t even resist masturbating?

For the record, I never had that conversation with Mrs. Lion. I told her that it turned me on to wear a chastity device. I said that I would love it if she took control and would tease me and eventually give me orgasms as she wished. During the conversation she found out that I occasionally (two or three times a week) masturbated. I was incredibly surprised that she didn’t know I did it. As soon as I found out that she hated the idea, I agreed to stop. I would’ve made that agreement with or without the hardware.

She saw the value of associating “curing” me of this nasty habit with wearing the chastity device. Neither of us really believed it was necessary for that purpose. However, it was hot to talk that way. Bloggers, me included, have written about the exciting prospect of being physically prevented from jerking off. I think we may be doing our readers a disservice. It truly doesn’t take much willpower to control masturbation. It does require our partners to recognize that we’ve given up an important sexual outlet and will need some sort of replacement.

In my case, I got edged every day or two and occasionally was masturbated to ejaculation. I didn’t miss my sessions of self abuse. Both of us were very clear that the reason I asked to be locked into a chastity device was because the idea turned me on. That, believe it or not, is a very good reason to do it. I would expect most women, while surprised by the request, could handle it. Trying to associate and force chastity with other behavioral issues raises the stakes to the point that many women wouldn’t even consider it.

In many relationships, the guy is responsible for putting on and taking off the device. Most control the key. Their partners may direct them to lock and unlock, but don’t have any physical relationship with the hardware. It might be worth asking why not? Mrs. Lion has me put on and remove the base ring. She worries about hurting me when my balls and penis are threaded through it. I would prefer her to do it, but I understand. However, she and only she handles the actual cage. She retains the key and places the cage on my penis and locks it in place. There are no exceptions to this.

I think this is a very powerful activity. It’s her chastity device and her penis. She likes owning it; at least she says she does. If I want to test a new device, she locks it on me. I’m not free to test new ones even if I’m wild at the time. Apparently, I’m free to touch sexually on a limited basis if I’m not locked up. I’m absolutely forbidden to masturbate, and I don’t.

For us, enforced male chastity is a transfer of ownership. My penis, instead of being my favorite toy, is now her property to do with as she wishes. The chastity device is a concession to my kinky side. I doubt she would use it if I didn’t want her to. That doesn’t change her ownership. We’ve agreed the penis is hers. Yes, I can get myself hard when I’m wild. She knows I can and that occasionally I do. I never get myself even close to the edge. If it bothers her that I occasionally get myself hard, she hasn’t said anything about it. Of course if she wants me to be totally hands off, she has two choices: She can explicitly forbid any sexual touching, or can keep me in my device all the time.

I don’t think she cares either way. After all, if I manage to get myself aroused I’m just increasing my frustration and my desire for her to give me release. I’m not moving myself down the path of jerking off.

We don’t talk about this very much. She never initiates any conversations about my penis. Occasionally I asked her how she feels about this or that. The same is true of the device. I generally have to ask her if she’s going to lock me up again. I’m a little disappointed about that but I know we don’t think about chastity devices the same way. She considers it something I like and not anything useful to her. So it is fair for me to help perpetuate my lockup.

I think that if guys recognize that this is almost certainly the way it will work for them, they can structure that important “chastity conversation” in a way that is much easier for their partners to accept. While it’s very hot to imagine the diabolical control my lioness has over me, I’m completely aware that she doesn’t feel that way. She locked me up because I find it hot. I don’t jerk off because she’s deadly serious about considering that something she never wants me to do. It’s not related to my chastity device or to enforced male chastity.


  1. I’m usually astounded at the guys who write “I used to wank two or three times a day, and it left me with no energy for my wife.” All I can think of is between work, social obligations, exercise, and household chores, who the hell has that kind of free time?

    1. Author

      I wonder about that too. I thought I was a frequent masturbator when I did it two or three times a week.

  2. If I had a day off, I would likely masturbate 3-4 times a day—sometimes even more. Otherwise it was closer to once or maybe twice a day. Those rushed sessions weren’t a lot of fun though. It was better when I had time to tease myself and take my time, but in reality it doesn’t need to take a lot of time!

    1. Author

      Why do it if it wasn’t a lot of fun?

      1. A good question. I know I was often disappointed when I snuck in a quick rub-off. I loved those day offs though. Effectively I would edge myself until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Then allow myself to cum! Still even the quick ones felt good for that moment in time!

      2. Jeez Lion, you sound like my owner. I find it hard to articulate that jacking off would just be a relief, if not overly satisfying. To your larger point, my owner likes that I can’t get hard – beyond just not masturbating. And yes, definitely establishes her ownership of me which we both enjoy.

        1. Author

          Maybe jerking off is a habit that you associate with stress relief. I’m sure you have enough control over your body to resist playing with yourself. I think we buy into our own fantasies. Our balls don’t turn blue or swell up if we have to be horny. No harmful physical changes take place if we don’t ejaculate. We just prefer rubbing one out when we’re bored or lonely.

          1. That’s entirely true – stress, boredom, loneliness – all of which I unfortunately have in abundance. I certainly could abstain without a device. However, the mental need/want for relief to just ease the horniness is entirely real – seems to go into overdrive after 10 days or so. It’s all manageable of course and I’m certainly not complaining.

  3. Another thought provoking post with great insight. You are really making me think and assess situations. I think next I discuss chastity device with a guy, I’m taking a new approach. Thanks.

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