What I’ve Learned

This is a waxing weekend for us. Yesterday, Mrs. Lion removed fur from the front of my body. Last time I was waxed she left hair from halfway up my thighs down to my feet. Turned out that the hair that grew back on my lower thighs looked terrible to me. I asked her to remove it this time. She did, and took the rest of the hair all the way down to my feet as well. She said it didn’t make sense not to just finish the job.

Today she’ll do the backside of the lion. I have a few tender spots there, particularly under my balls. For some reason the back of my scrotum and the perineum are very temperature sensitive. Wax that doesn’t bother me anywhere else on my body burns like crazy there. Of course, Mrs. Lion knew that all along. That’s why extra strength Icy Hot really gets me on my balls.

There is a chance my Chinese knockoff Holy Trainer Nub will arrive this week. If it does, I can do a short write up about it. A full review will have to wait until I recover sufficiently after my surgery to wear a device for some time.

Others who have reviewed it, marvel at how comfortable something that small can be. That makes me chuckle. My Jail Bird is actually the same length as the Nub. My urethra pokes out of the Jail Bird the same way it should when wearing the Nub. If this device is comfortable, it represents a $30 opportunity to be introduced to the new age of micro male chastity.

It seems to me that others in the male chastity world are moving in the same direction as I am. Over the last 5+ years I’ve discovered that devices shorter than I imagined I could ever wear, have turned out to be the most comfortable and useful. I think it’s a sign that enforced male chastity is maturing.

I think that blogs like this one are starting to influence the more general population of male chastity practitioners. When we started in 2014, our objective was to provide accurate information about how my adoption of enforced male chastity worked. The idea was to simply write what we were thinking at the time.

If you go back into our archives, you can see that we have matured in our perspective of this practice. It’s taken time and investments in ever-shortening devices to teach us what works and doesn’t work. I hope that if you’re new to this, you can leverage our experience and start off in a much better place than we did.

I think the most significant sign of chastity maturity is realizing that “security” is an absolutely pointless exercise. While wearing a chastity device is a form of bondage, it’s really not intended to be an inescapable penis prison. The mythology demands that the penis is absolutely inaccessible to its owner.

It’s physically impossible to build an inescapable ball-capture chastity device. It is relatively simple to construct a full chastity belt that would require massive engineering tools to escape. Having worn one of those belts for a while, I can tell you that they’re not very comfortable. Bending, twisting, sleeping, showering, and most other everyday activities are much more difficult when wearing the belt.

Since we know that it’s safe to assume every single guy wearing a chastity device is wearing it because he asked his partner to lock him up, there’s no logical reason why having much concern at all about escape makes sense. In fact, it could be downright dangerous.

When I first learned about BDSM, my partner at the time loved the thought that she could put me into bondage that I couldn’t possibly escape. That inescapability was a massive turn on for her. So, every restraint we had was lockable. The locks we purchased were the kind of Master Lock padlocks you use to secure a storage shed or your bicycle.

I really couldn’t escape if I wanted to. I never wanted to. At the time it never occurred to either of us that there was a serious risk associated with this sort of bondage. What would happen, for example, if she suffered a health crisis while we were playing. This wasn’t terribly far-fetched. She had lupus. If she fainted or otherwise was rendered unconscious, there was nothing I could do about it. Worse, since we were alone I could end up starving to death or dying of thirst while watching her die unnecessarily as well.

My chastity device (the Jail Bird) is effectively inescapable for me. Taking it off is tantamount to breaking a sacred trust with Mrs. Lion. It’s not too different from cheating on her. There would have to be an amazingly good reason for me to escape that wouldn’t break her heart.

The thing is, she has told me that if there was a genuine emergency; say, I got in an accident and had to get medical care, she would be completely okay with me removing the device. For most of the time I was locked in the device full time, I had an emergency key in a sealed container in my pocket.

I really hated that. I prefer not having any access that easy. I know I can loosen the security screw on the Jail Bird using a pair of pliers. It wouldn’t be easy and I would make a mess out of the screw head, but I can get the device off. I think it’s probably more important that my escape be detectable than it is the fact that I can get the device off.

My point is that the most important quality a chastity device can have is comfort. This device will (hopefully) remain on your body 24/7. Mine came off only for teasing and periodic cleaning. Otherwise, it’s always there. Obviously, it can’t irritate my skin or pinch me. It has to feel good as it does its job.

Let’s go back to what that job may be. Obviously, A chastity device is there to prevent sexual use of the penis. In my mind, that includes achieving erections. Even if you disagree with that, you will soon learn that a chastity device large enough to accommodate your erection will turn out to be very uncomfortable to wear. I’ve learned that the most comfortable chastity device for me is a scant 1-inch-long cage.

Apparently, others agree. More and more very short devices are coming onto the market. More and more chastity bloggers are reviewing these devices and finding them surprisingly comfortable. It seems completely counterintuitive to imagine that a cage barely as long as the head of your penis is the ideal size for your chastity device.

My years wearing a chastity device have taught me that the most important attribute that device can have is that I can comfortably wear it full-time. I’ve discovered that my comfort has only increased as I shorten the length of the cage. I’ve settled on a length of just 1 inch. I’m very happy with it.

I wonder if this advice is sufficient to overcome the intuitive desire to have a much larger device. I also wonder if the desire for security, which, let’s face it, is a fetish all by itself, will overcome the more practical need for comfort. The price for chastity device security is always comfort. Worried about pullout? Put spikes in the cage that will dig in to your penis if you try to remove it.

Oh wait! An attempted erection will cause those points to dig in too. Every conceivable effort to add security always has a trade-off in comfort.

That’s not entirely true.

There’s one security feature that doesn’t impact comforted all: your self-control.


  1. There is an alternative chastity device style that also seems to work well in the long term; I can say this confidently because of both first-hand knowledge and anecdotes from other guys I’ve been in touch with. This is the ring-less, piercing-secured type device.

    These are available in all the same classes as the ringed devices: high-dollar bespoke devices, a CB-series device (the PA-5000) from the Millers, and several cheap Chinese imports. As with any style of device, there is a significant learning curve in both choosing the right kind of device, and in learning to wear it successfully. Personally, I’ve many thousands of dollars over several years getting the ideal device for me (from Lori at chastitytube.com). But now, it is truly ideal.

    The device I have is absolutely effective at preventing orgasm, and believe me I’ve tried. It’s comfortable to the point that I forget about it most of the time, and even night-time and morning erections are restricted but not uncomfortable. Urination is easy and sanitary thanks to a modification I made (a through-hole in the PA pin). And although I could of course remove it (because I have a very well-equipped workshop), I would destroy the device in the process, it would take a long time, and I’d have to be **very** careful!

    The device’s most important feature to me, though, is that it doesn’t limit erections, and enough of my penis is exposed that my wife can tease me *very* effectively without having to remove it. Almost every morning, and most evenings, she will spend a few minutes getting me really worked up, then go on about her day. There’s no preparation required, and almost no effort on her part, but it makes a huge impact on me. Some mornings we’ll spend longer getting going, and I’ll go down on her; some evenings maybe the same, or playtime with some rope and a paddle (I top her in these sessions), or maybe a nice long back rub.

    The point is that the chastity play now fits seamlessly into our lifestyle, and the process (the device, and the procedures that surround it) are no longer at the forefront – my chastity is just an integral part of our lives now, which I’m very happy about.

    (Incidentally, about that who’s topping whom thing… I love that my wife keeps me in chastity, but she really likes being tied up and beaten. At the moment our (her, actually) deal is that I *may* get unlocked once every three times we do a scene with her tied up. I was up to two when I had to go on a business trip internationally, meaning the cage had to come off, so now I owe her at least four scenes when I get back home, before I get to cum.)

    In summary, I do agree that the chastity world is maturing, and it does seem that for ringed devices the “shorter-is-better” approach seems to work out well for a lot of men. However, it’s not the only “twue path”; there are many people successfully wearing piercing-type devices long term (sometimes *very* long-term), and there are still a lot of folks that are happy with the CB-x000 units’ too.

    1. Mark,

      Which model do you own that is doing so well for you? Is it a PA that completes the system?



    2. Author

      My very first chastity device was one of Lori’s earliest tubes. (Click here to see me wearing it) For many years, she only made tubes for frenum piercings. Since I had one, I was in a great position to try them. Unlike your experience, I found the tubes impractical and very uncomfortable. They weighed a ton! Within 24 hours my piercing was irritated and I was in deep pain. I also never liked the ability to tease the “sensitive” spot on the bottom of the penis. Since the frenum piercing goes through this area, her devices made it very accessible. She even wrote me at one point that she could give her partner orgasms even while he wore the tube.

      In fairness, I don’t think I measured correctly for the device. You can see that in the picture. However given the weight of the device, I don’t think I could ever wear comfortably. We all have our particular ways of adapting to living with the chastity device. You’ve come up with a good one given that you are switches. Mrs. Lion and I don’t switch.

      Thanks for the view into your chastity play.

  2. I am a Sensual Domme with a long line of men who desire orgasm control. I have learned so much from your blog and I love reading both of your perspectives.

    I love your vulnerability and candor. You call it like it is in a way that is over the top refreshing and honest.

    Thanks so much, I send my subby men to this blog so they understand what they are asking of the women they wish to control them.


  3. The Lori device that I use is a somewhat customized #1 model. I have had several #5s, and as Lion noted they do tend to be heavy – the trick to success with them is to have the tube diameter small enough that friction with the shaft absorbs shock loads (footfalls), while the corona acts as a soft “barb” to support the device statically.

    The #1 I use is a much more open device, so the weight is much less. However, for security I asked Lori to fill in the bottom, and add a couple of small bars just behind the head to prevent an inquisitive finger from poking into a fun place. As I mentioned above, I also drilled a hole through the PA pin to make urination easy and clean. You can see the final result here (NSFW): https://fetlife.com/users/1842181/pictures/75446542

    Yes, all the Lori devices I’ve used have required PA piercings. I can highly recommend this piercing, even for non-chastity reasons: It’s quite painless, heals quickly, and has an essentially zero infection rate due to being bathed several times per day in a sterile, slightly acidic wash (urine). It’s also a lot tougher than a frenum piercing (which was originally my first choice, until I did a bunch of research), and is very easy to gauge up as well. My wife really likes the feel of some types of jewelry inside her during intercourse, and I get extra stimulation from it too. “Recommended!”

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