This weekend was supposed to be the return of Lion’s libido and everything was magically going to go back to normal. Until I gave him a ruined orgasm last night. I always feel horrible when I go too far. I hate ruined orgasms. I could have salvaged it. I should have salvaged it. But the effect would have been the same: Lion won’t be horny today and probably not tomorrow either. So much for a return to normal.
After it happened and I was lamenting to myself about his impending lack of horniness, I was thinking it doesn’t really matter. We can still play even if he’s not horny. Many of the play places Lion has been to don’t allow sex with play. That always seemed strange to me. What’s the point? I thought a scene would always lead to sex. But it doesn’t. If that’s the case then lack of horniness isn’t an issue.
However, in the past Lion has said that he needs to be a little turned on before I start doing whatever we’re going to do. Then again he’s said he doesn’t necessarily like when I jump right into trying to get him hard. Confused? Me too. And they say women send mixed signals! From what I can gather, Lion needs play to get turned on sometimes but needs to be turned on before play other times. How do I know when he needs what? Sometimes he doesn’t even know.
I know one school of thought is that I should just do whatever I’m going to do to Lion regardless of what he wants. I suppose that could work. Lion might be happy to have me dominate him like that. For a while. As he says, he might like the idea of it and he might like remembering it. During is a whole different story. I’m not sure I can get through the “during” part of forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do. It is supposed to be play after all.
No. We’ll figure something out this weekend. Maybe after not being horny for so long, he’ll be horny right away again. Who knows?