We spent yesterday running errands. It wasn’t all running around. Mrs. Lion had time to write her post and play some games on her PC. I relaxed and watched some reruns of “Law and Order SVU”. It wasn’t productive but it was nice. My interest in sex has been pretty low. Maybe this is just one of my periodic slowdowns. They seem to be coming more frequently lately. I don’t think it is stress from work. That’s calmed down for the time being; and I do love my job.
I admit that the lack of play has been due to me. We have been snuggling. That’s more important than sex. I was allowed to be wild from Friday night to last night. Then, as announced, the cage was locked in place again.
Mrs. Lion was talking with me in the car last night. She mentioned that her friends at work talked about who was in charge at home. I don’t remember if she told them that she was. But she told me that sometimes she doesn’t feel like she is in charge. She didn’t elaborate so I’m not sure when that happens.
It’s not surprising. Transitioning from acceptance to leadership is a long and difficult process. We’ve celebrated (not sure that is exactly the right word, at least for me) two milestones: She spanked me for saying things that annoyed her. And, she admitted that she feels ownership of my penis. The second was brought on by my return to a chastity device. Both signal the budding of a new phase in our relationship.
The next step, in my opinion, is when she starts to feel those lapses in her authority, she will take immediate steps to restore her confidence. I imagine her paddle will be part of that process.
Living with me isn’t all that easy. I admit that I am headstrong and very used to my position as king of beasts. Taming me isn’t the easiest occupation Mrs. Lion could have.
I’ve worried that this shift of power could hurt our relationship. At the very least, during the transition, there is discomfort on both sides. So far, we both agree that things seem to be moving in the right direction. But there is a risk that discomfort with the change could manifest itself in distance between us. To avoid this, we both have to be honest with our feelings. I think we have been so far.
I hope that Mrs. Lion will continue to stay on top of how I affect her. She worries too much about being fair. I don’t expect fairness. I expect her to use her position as disciplining wife to punish me if she feels anything is bothering her about us. Extra punishments for me are actually good for both of us. It’s the same sort of conditioning we both have about rule breaking. There is no longer any hesitation about punishing me for breaking a rule. A spill on my shirt always means a red butt.
The same sort of reflexive discipline is what I think we need when Mrs. Lion has even a twinge of feeling she is not in charge. It doesn’t matter what the cause may be. It only matters that she needs to reinforce her authority. The only way she can do that is by punishing me. I know that she will think there are better ways that involve her “just changing”. I believe that internalizing is the last thing that will help.
Even though I don’t appear to deserve it, I’m suggesting that the paddle comes out when she feels that loss of authority. This isn’t a matter of fairness. It’s a training exercise is letting feelings out. My bottom can handle it.