Cable TV

I realize that our blog is about enforced chastity and other female-in-control power exchanges. Since last weekend, neither of us has given any real consideration to any of that stuff. I certainly didn’t intend to spend your time listening to me whine about health issues. But the simple fact is that I’ve been in some pain and had a kidney stone plucked out. There is a complication that the stone either irritated or infected my ureter. As a result I have a stent going from my kidney to my bladder.

The procedure itself wasn’t too bad. The stent hurts and is scheduled to come out on Friday. The pain makes me grumpy and the pain drugs turn me into a space cadet. Neither state is particularly conducive to thoughtful conversations about my surrender to Mrs. Lion. There is no technical reason she shouldn’t hold me to my rules. Similarly, sex is possible for me. I really don’t think about sex and I am sure an orgasm would hurt until the stent is removed.

I’ve been watching a lot of cop shows on TV. A couple of cable stations run endless marathons of shows like “Law and Order SVU” and “Blue Bloods.” SVU taken more than two at a time depresses me. “Blue Bloods” starts to feel the same as well. The difference is that “Blue Bloods” always has an uplifting ending. No wonder I’m sleeping so much.

My reading material isn’t much better. I get several comments and emails a day from people wanting to tell me about their chastity adventures. Like all the marathon SVU’s and Blue Bloods, the plot lines just don’t vary. Most are worded as attempts to “share”. Share what? I suppose that because we write daily posts on these matters, it’s easy to assume we have an unquenchable lust for others’ accounts of long lockup and cock teasing. They assume that’s what must interest us. I’m pretty sure that’s what assists the writers in masturbation.

What interests me is learning how other couples incorporate these power exchanges into their lives. I love reading about the challenges and successes of others. I don’t much care about how long the guy waits to ejaculate. I do care about how the couple communicates. I want to learn more about how others practice domestic discipline. I want to learn about the power dynamic.

One of our frequent cmmentors, Anonymous, wondered at my skepticism about a wife beating her injured husband. It could be true. But the description of this beating was in the comment section of a blog. Context was absent. I choose not to believe the story because, at best it’s non-consensual and at worst domestic abuse. He mentioned that we expected him to believe that I was beaten until I bled. No, I don’t really care if anyone believes that. Actually I wasn’t beaten until I bled, I was being spanked and a pimple or something on my butt broke and there were a few drops of blood. The spanking itself wasn’t very severe at all.

One of the reasons that I have been wishing to find others who practice our kinks is my wish to be able to enjoy relating to others who share our interests. It isn’t to find others and exchange “war” stories. We don’t need lessons in using paddles, straps, etc. I have taught workshops on that stuff. It is just to have some human companionship with like-minded people.

At this moment, it’s hard for me to remember why I want to write a post every day about something that is just not on my mind right now. I want to stop aching and I want to have my customary alertness that the narcotic pain relievers steal from me. I want to have an erection. I want to be horny again. I really want to find something else on TV other than “Law and Order” and “Blue Bloods”.


  1. Author

    Get well soon love from England

  2. Author

    Mr.Lion I feel your pain. Let me tell you my story. I had a prostrate biopsy performed Friday before Christmas, results negative everything is fine, just precautionary more than anything. The biopsy went fine and I was feeling fine. I had urniated once and as expected alot of blood but I was feeling fine. We decied to to take out and the wife goes to get the meal. I was curious if I can get an erection so while she is gone I play with myself and yes my joystick was working fine. After dinner I go to urinate and could not. The pain became intolerable. Head to the ER, hardle able to walk, in pain, cannot urinate. Obviously need to be catherized, which is no fun, finally relief I could pee. Still in my painful state enjoyed the nurses handling my cock while my wife sat their and watched. Of course not going to get released until they knew everything was working ok. Drank some water and oh,oh, could not uriante, back in pain. The quandry was why I could not pass urine through the cathered. What should they do. I am just about naked a variety of nurse come in to check me out and handle my cock while the wife watches. The dececison Oh,let use a bigger cathered, great. Pull one out and stick a bigger one in. More pain but i could pee. The first cathred wound up catching a blood clot from the biopsy so urine would not flow.They were not going to take the cathter, let my urolgist decide on that. There office was closed until Tuesday. I spent all of Christmas with the cathter in my penis with the bag of pee. No fun. Very uncomfortabel to move,to clean, to sleep,no appetite. Hope you are better soon. Also I write to you about our journey. I am not in chastity or in a FLR but we do practive ejactulation control.

  3. Author

    The communication part is woefully lacking in the FM DD blogosphere. Some FLR blogs like femdomthinktank discuss it.

    The pro I see practices FM DD in her personal life. I ask a lot of questions because I want to know whether and to what extent things are negotiated up front, such as the rules, severity of punishments, implements, and limits, process for resolving questions of guilt, and post punishment processing/adjustments. She says no one blogs about that because it’s not exciting or “sexy.”

    Her answers have been vague and inconsistent. I’m trying to convince her to write a book and trying to help her clarify things by asking a lot of detailed questions. I want her to do it because she seems far more humane and concerned about fairness, safety, and compassion than most women who blog about what they do (especially IMO compared to people like Dianne at wifesincharge and strictjulie (who really doesn’t do DD per se))

    One thing she does is to have her boyfriend write a journal entry about the punishment and how it affected him a day or two afterwards. She says if anything was particularly negative, she would “make adjustments.”

      1. Author

        In part, yes, but you really drive the train as to what happens and how it’s done. There doesn’t seem to be so much give and take or negotiation, and you’re only one blog. I said “woefully lacking,” not totally absent.

        What I’ve gathered is that DD is not one size fits all, and it would be good to hear how others arrive at their particular arrangements. Also, issues can arise which you’ve never faced. For example, I’m very interested in how disputes over whether an infraction really occurred are handled. A lot of resentment could result from an undeserved punished, especially one as severe as you get.

        I’m also interested in how things are handled if the man deems the severity unfair or damaging.

        These are just examples. That’s why I’m encouraging my friend to write a book.

        1. Author

          I think you may be attributing too much to the DD fantasy. DD, FLR, and enforced chastity do not constitute the basis for relationship. I recognize that a lot of people who don’t actually practice these things can find endless issues that need some sort of packaged solution. In fact, our relationship comes first. I trust my wife. If I feel wrongly accused and punished, I will say so. But if she still feels I deserve the punishment, then that is the deal I made. In any power exchanged, the submissive partner generally has a great deal of control. After all, this is consensual.

          That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion doesn’t have real power. She puts her foot down and that’s that. I don’t want to suggest anyone is right or wrong, but your pro-dom is being paid to help you support an important fantasy. Just like Mrs. Lion and I, you can’t really understand how her relationship works in real life. There’s nothing wrong with another book about how to be in a D/S relationship. If it helps, great. Relationships that are based on power exchange don’t seem to do well over time. The D/S dynamic in whatever guise just isn’t rich enough to support a lifelong partnership.

          Our power dynamic is changing. It evolves over time. My degree of control is diminishing rapidly. I may say I want that, but the reality isn’t all that easy to take. I’m learning to surrender. Mrs. Lion is learning to control. Her post today shows she has a limit in how far that control will extend. I accept her decision. Truth is, the last thing I worry about is that she will punish me more severely than I think I deserve. That’s something very easy to accept. I can understand why you might consider this as a source of trouble in the long term. It isn’t. I can’t explain in a post or a comment how our dynamic works in a 360-degree view. I can only say that DD/FLR/Enforced Chastity are seasonings in an already-wonderful stew.

          I do hope you can find a blog or two that meets your expectations. Ours is what it is. I wish you luck in your pursuit.

          1. Author

            Your blog is great. You are by far the most insightful, introspective, and intellectually honest and capable blogger in this space.

            DD is not my fantasy, and the pro is not paid to support it. My interest in spanking is primarily sexual, although there is a growing, emotional but non-sexual aspect that is growing.

            I’m interested in DD but leery of it at the same time. I am trying to learn more through my dialogue with her, which allows me to filter out the “wank fodder” and exaggeration of the Internet.

            She seems to use DD for serious relationship offenses, and I enjoy talking to her about how she handles the basic fairness issues because the spankings she gives can be quite nasty and one given wrongfully strikes me as potentially relationship damaging. She doesn’t seem to dispute that premise.

            Even your answer suggests that you could protest a wrongful punishment and just have to take it if your wife overrules you. Maybe your relationship is such that such an occurrence would not bother you, but I have read accounts by guys who were upset by it.

            I am not looking for a packaged solution. I just have a lot of questions about issues that occur to me. They may not seem relevant to you, but she enjoys the exchanges and says I have made her think about what she does and whether she should change aspects of it.

            Your blog is great. I am just also interested in exploring issues that you don’t touch on. That’s not an indictment of your blog or a suggestion that I find it lacking or unsatisfactory.

          2. Author

            The question of how I would react to what I think is unjust is not tied to the severity of the punishment. I have a strong sense of fair play. And, yes it would be upsetting but not relationship threatening. I get angry after most spankings. It isn’t a sense of injustice. Just a reaction to being hurt. That’s natural, I think, and disappears rapidly.

            At worst, the beating was good practice for Mrs. Lion. She always makes her reasoning clear before the first swat. I don’t get a vote on the quality of her reasoning, but I know she thought about my offense and decided I earned it. Since our relationship isn’t based on a power exchange, it isn’t threatened by “errors” in discipline. Worst case: I pout for a while.

  4. Author

    I guess the way I see it, the severity is linked because the severity goes to the injury caused by the unjust punishment. If I’m bruised and sore for a couple of days unjustly, I’d be pissed.

    I would think that with enough wrongful punishment, one might either pull the plug on DD or the marriage (here, I’m thinking of situations I know of where the wife made DD a condition of being married), but perhaps I’m wrong. However, being wrongfully accused of and punished for things is a huge deal for me, in all aspects of life.

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