Conversations about enforced chastity often turn to hardware used to lock up a penis to prevent erection and ejaculation. Very few people who practice it expect to be locked up without sexual attention forever. That idea never crossed my mind. Generally, the penis is locked for a while, released for sexual activity and then locked up again. In my case, the penis is unlocked for non-orgasmic sexual activity. Then it is locked up again. About once a week, I am allowed to ejaculate.
Simple. Right? There are endless theories about why this is a good thing. The fantasies generally center on it as a form of sexual submission. Reality is often exactly that. It’s usually much less extreme and dramatic than the fantasies, but it boils down to the locked male’s partner using sexual control for domination. Unlike the fantasies, enforced chastity is almost always initiated by the male. In all cases, he consents to being locked up.
The hardware and the waits between orgasms get most of the attention on the Internet, but it’s not the most interesting aspect. In situations like mine, the male learns an entirely new sexual language. Almost every night, Mrs. Lion unlocks me and then brings me to the edge of orgasm over and over. Once a week she repeats this and finally lets me ejaculate.
In the D/S view of this, she is teasing me to keep me needing release. Each time she edges me, she is displaying her power over my favorite activity. It’s true. She is. But that’s not the interesting part. If it were, eventually I would grow weary of this endless teasing and walking around wanting release. The fantasies portray the edging as a form of torture. They also claim that the poor, tortured male will do anything for release.
That scenario may work for a BDSM scene, but it isn’t going to last a lifetime. Let’s look at this a bit differently. I will agree that when we first started, the edging and eventual orgasms were exercises in Mrs. Lion’s power over me. It didn’t take too many months before I accepted her authority over her weenie and didn’t expect to ejaculate when stimulated.
I learned to enjoy the edging. I really like the buildup to ejaculation. Because she doesn’t let me squirt, she can stop just shy of ejaculation and then after a few seconds for me to calm a bit, do it again, and again, and again. Yes it’s true that in the moment I dearly wish she would take me over the top. Boy do I want that! But after I stop panting so hard and she starts again, I know I will nearly get to the top again. It’s fun once I stopped expecting to ejaculate.
In our case, Mrs. Lion stimulates me with her hand or mouth. Other women allow their males to fuck and stop just shy of coming. They wait and he resumes. Most of these women receive one or more orgasms before this starts. They are satisfied and are just enjoying the penetration and the frantic energy of their partners.
Whether it is by hand, mouth, or vagina, as the time after an orgasm gets longer, the excitement of this activity grows. At some point the excitement starts to diminish. Giving the male an orgasm will restart the cycle.
In enforced chastity, the meaning of sex changes for the male. It goes from a rush to ejaculate to repeated near-orgasms every day, at least in my case. It takes some time to learn to enjoy this. But in my case, once I did, I look forward to my nightly tease. Sometimes I’m sorry if I am made to ejaculate too soon. It really does depend on how you look at it.