Suspending The Rules

Things are a bit out of sync with us. Mrs. Lion believes it is rooted in the anxiety of another job search for me. I had been working on a contract position that ended last Friday. It was no surprise and I have been doing a job search for a few weeks. I am usually fairly calm about this process, at least in the beginning before money gets terribly tight. But this time I keep thinking about the seven months it took to get my last gig. I don’t want to face that again. To make things more difficult, I am in the process of interviews for a full time position I really want. The company is famous for its long, tortuous hiring process. To date I have had a screening interview with the recruiter, a phone interview with the hiring manager, and an in person meeting with him. Yesterday, I had two video interviews with another on Friday. I learned yesterday afternoon that the hiring manager wants to meet again. I expect he wants to confirm my knowledge of something that I was asked about during the video interviews yesterday.

I have no idea how many people are going through this process. I assume there aren’t many since these interviews eat up a lot of time for the interviewers. If I am the only candidate, then I just have to appear qualified for the interviewers. The fact that the hiring manager put me through means he wants me on his team. I like the odds with that. However, if there are other candidates, then I have to be the best with all of the interviewers. That’s a much higher bar. All this uncertainty is what makes things so scary for me. Needless to say, I am distracted and worried by all this. I find myself easily annoyed. The last thing I am thinking about is BDSM play. That explains why I am less than enthusiastic when Mrs. Lion gets the toys out.

This brings up an issue that eventually confronts everybody who has added a power exchange to their relationships. What do you do when life intrudes? Some people say we should just push on and continue with play as usual. I’m not sure I agree. In our case, there are several areas of activity. At the base is our female led relationship. I believe that nothing should suspend that. Mrs. Lion remains in charge regardless of the lemons life might throw us. I can’t think of any reason why we would ever suspend it.

Next is enforced chastity. This is actually two things: orgasm control and wearing a chastity device. I can’t think of a good reason to suspend the orgasm control. If things are bad, I won’t be interested in sex, but there is no harm in Mrs. Lion deciding to tease me or make me come. The chastity device, on the other hand, could get in the way. I can see not wearing it if there is a good reason. Last and certainly least is BDSM. These activities are really for my benefit. While it might be fun for 2.0 to torture me, the reality is that these kinks turn me on far more than Mrs. Lion. These activities are easily suspended if the situation warrants.

When life intrudes, things may have to change. But what changes should be a decision, not the result of negative energy. It isn’t easy, but it is critical for us to maintain our agreed power exchange. Mrs. Lion is in charge. She decides if and when I get sexual attention. I have some input there. The point is that I trust her enough to give her power over me. Just because things are upsetting doesn’t revoke that trust. She may have to be stronger and I may have to take a deep breath and remember who is in charge.

6 Comments

  1. Author

    Job seeking sucks. No doubt about it. But have you considered putting yourself in the frame of mind that all of this could be used as a stress relief? An opportunity to kind of put some of the life stuff in the back of your mind for those moments of play? I call it brain dumping. It is easier for me than -1.5, but I find it theraputic in a way to put the stress on the nightstand and take a moment to appreciate and embrace what is consistent and comfortable. The stress will be there tomorrow for you to pick back up.
    Wish you both the best and hope you get your groove back. 🙂

    1. Author

      I find that I can’t “turn off” the feelings of fear and anxiety. I thought that being in the advanced stages of being interviewed for a dream job would make me feel better. Ironically, it seems to have made it worse.My interest in sex seems to have evaporated for now. I am happy to be in the cage. It gives me a sense of continuity. I also recognize that all these negative feelings are unproductive. But the consequences of being out of work again are very real and frightening. I’m hoping that my equilibrium will return soon.

      I agree that play could be a stress reliever for me. I hope 2.0 keeps trying.

  2. Author

    Whenever something screws up at the business, I stop feeling sexual for long periods of time. I end up obsessing on things that are going wrong, what I could have done differently, etc. It’s hard not to.

    What you’re going through is perfectly normal. Just try to remember to take some time here and there to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

    1. Author

      That’s what’s happening to me. I know it isn’t constructive, but the memory of the last time I was out of work is haunting me.Times like this remind me how much I need my lioness. I know she is as frightened as I, but she stays by my side and makes sure I know we will deal with this together. That helps. It just doesn’t turn me on.

  3. Author

    Isn’t that the shit of life?! Things do change. I hope the changes you and Ms. Lion face bring you closer. If I wanted a woman to bang on my ass, I could pay for it and have a lot less complication. But the depth, connection, and joy of the relationship keeps me bound.
    It is a pithy expression, but so true: The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.

  4. Author

    Suggesting a fairly hard bare stress relief spanking from Mrs. lion, that hopefully will turn you both on for more stress relief of another kind. Good luck.

What do you think?