It’s A Process

In the old days, movies ran continuously. There were no “shows”. You bought a ticket and walked in. The theater did publish start times, but lots of people just went to the movies and joined a film in progress. A phrase I remember whispering to my friend in the next seat was, “This is where we came in, let’s go.””Psycho”  was the first film that required people to be in the theater before the film started.

Blogs are very much like movie theaters of yore. You drop into a blog “in the middle” and begin reading. Some folks will go back to the earliest posts and catch up. Most people don’t. Our blog documents our evolution in enforced male chastity, and more recently, a female led relationship. Since this is our third year with enforced chastity, joining in the middle could be a little misleading.

We frequently get comments from people who say they want to start enforced chastity and expect it to run for years and years. For example, we recently got this one:

“May I ask what prompted the the changes in January 2014? Also, how did you two start with chastity/confinement? I have recently received a Pet who is 18 yrs my Junior. I am having a great time with him and he has asked about a chastity device. I’m not sure he realizes what he’s asking of me. I’d also lock him up for years!”

Based on reading our current posts, it seems natural that enforced chastity will go on for years. This couldn’t be further from the way we felt when we started. The commentator makes a very important point: “I’m not sure he realizes what he’s asking of me.” I’m sure she’s right. No guy can be sure how he will react to enforced chastity. I’m also sure that she doesn’t realize what he is asking of her.

You don’t buy a male chastity kit and just follow the enclosed directions. Yes, you can buy books that purport to give you step-by-step instructions on how to “do” enforced chastity. Save your money. The process is really quite simple.

First of all, if you agree that you want to try enforced chastity, then begin by agreeing on some simple rules. Avoid the temptation to get into tedious detail on rules, punishments, etc. Start off very simply. Get a chastity device that will hopefully be comfortable to wear. Completely disregard “security”. He asked for it, why should he try to escape. Next lock it on. Chances are good that it will be uncomfortable to wear for long. No problem. Take it off if it hurts and look for a better solution.

Here’s the important part: You need to make an agreement. This agreement can be verbal or in the form of an email or a contract. But you need to negotiate a few things. Here’s my short list. Keep yours short too:

  1. Agree that you will hold the key. He will not unlock himself unless it is an emergency. You will unlock him if the device hurts.
  2. Agree that with or without the device, he is done sexually touching himself without your permission and supervision. Masturbation is strictly forbidden.
  3. Agree that you will unlock him and get him off regularly. In the beginning this could be once or twice a week. Later, when he is used to your control, that time can be extended as you desire (and he agrees).
  4. You will try enforced chastity for a specific length of time. At the end of that time, you will both talk as equals and decide how to proceed going forward.

That’s it. Any more than that in the beginning will just complicate things and make failure more likely. Over time, you will almost certainly expand the power exchange. But in the beginning, especially the first few months, keeping the focus 100% on his sexual surrender gives you both the chance to decide how things will go in the futures.

Enforced male chastity is a process. It’s both physical and mental. Both caged male and keyholder have to learn and become conditioned to a new way sex is expressed. If this doesn’t sound like what you want, I understand. But if you have a serious interest in succeeding at enforced male chastity, keeping things simple and achievable in the beginning builds a foundation that can last a lifetime.