We’ve been having a bit of fun with Jim today. Jim thinks he knows what’s going on in our relationship better than Lion and I do. Despite the fact that I want Lion to tell me when he isn’t feeling up to playing, Jim thinks that’s information I don’t need. If I wanted Lion to warn me when he was approaching an orgasm so I could stop in time, would Jim think that is information I don’t need? I don’t know. Jim?
Here’s the bottom line on bottoms. At least my bottom. Not my bottom. Lion. I want him to communicate with me. If I show up with a butt plug and he knows he’s got an upset stomach that might send him running for the bathroom, I’d rather have him tell me before we have a problem. If his back hurts and being on all fours for a spanking will be unbearable, I’d rather have him tell me. That’s not the kind of pain I want to cause him. If he is distracted by something at work and I’ll be stroking him forever while he works out an algorithm (or whatever the hell he thinks about for work), I’d rather have him tell me so my arm doesn’t go numb while Mr. Weenie remains flaccid. On the other hand, if he starts to tell me I should do something, I don’t want to hear it. “Should”s are topping from the bottom.
Now I suppose this would be different if I were looking for sex for myself. Then I may not care how Lion feels, at least as far as his own horniness is concerned. He doesn’t need to be horny to satisfy me. He doesn’t need to be unlocked to satisfy me. The only thing I need him horny and unlocked for is actual intercourse. Then we’d have a problem if I was horny and he wasn’t. I suspect, however, if I told Lion I needed him horny to take care of my needs, Mr. Weenie might be straining at the cage, begging to be unlocked. Giving me an orgasm is sort of an aphrodisiac for Lion. [Lion — Sort of? Sort of??? It’s the biggest turn on in the world for me.]
So, for our purposes, and that’s really the only purposes we can talk about, Lion isn’t topping from the bottom when he alerts me to a potential problem concerning his lack of interest. I will never judge him for it. I will never be mad at him for it. I will still be available for another form of play or snuggles. If/when he does top from the bottom, I will certainly let him know. It’s happened in the past and it’s bound to happen again, but not for this reason.